Unforgetable Childhood
by Kiku-chan3322
Summary: Judai's childhood isn't something you'd call 'loving' with his mom and dad being divorced and his mom making the wrong choices, Judai's having a mental breakdown. But what happens when Johan comes to his rescue and turns his life around? Judai's POV
1. Prologue

**-waves- Hi!! Well I know I have like four stories going right now! But this popped into my mind and I just had to write it!! This I have to warn you is going to be tear jerking!! But this is the Prologue so tell me what you think!! **

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Have you ever noticed how small you are in this world? How many people are on Earth and how you're just a tiny fragment of it? This is how people come to think, 'how can I make a difference, I'm just one person.' Not like this isn't true but from what I've seen, one person cannot persuade everyone in the world to think otherwise, as long as people have opinion's this will forever remain the same. But you can make a difference to some people's lives, but not all. That's what I've come to see through my eyes. Like how my best friend and lover helped me see this. My love, Johan Andersen, made a difference in my life and that's why this isn't impossible.

I, Yuki Judai, know how hard life can be, but when you have someone there comforting you in your depressed state everything seems…better. He persuaded me to get up and enjoy my life, even though it wasn't going that well. He may not have persuaded or changed everyone he came across that was like me but he certainly changed my life.

He saved me, in all possible ways a human can be saved.

That's why I'll never stop loving him.

For my childhood, was something that can never…_**never**_ be erased…

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**So? You like it? Please tell me if I should continue!! Ya I know it's short! It's going to get very good, trust me!!**


	2. Divorce

**READ!!! Hi people!! Well I'm continuing it, this story because i got at least 3 reviews and i actually got 4 so yay i'm onto the next chapter!!! I might update a little later on 'Eternal Love' because this fiction has really got my attention! Also I got the idea for this chapter from people, like me, who have gone through the same situation has Judai is going to experience. I got old memories writing this story…oh well!! Past is past!! The future is now!! So please enjoy the First Chapter!!**

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That day…I could never forget that day. The day my parents told me about them getting a divorced. I was sixteen at the time. I had just come home from my day at school, like always I waved goodbye to my best friend Marufuji Sho after I got off the bus. I smiled in the goofy grin I use to wear.

I lifted up my baseball cap slightly to see my father was home. It automatically seemed suspicious to me, my father never came home early. But I didn't think anything of it I was just happy my father was finally home, I'd practice with my duel monster cards, maybe I could show him how good I've gotten.

I walked up my drive and started running to my door. I opened the door and slammed it, "I'm home!" I called out with an excited voice. I stopped with my smile and laughing when I saw my mother and father standing there. My mother…she was crying…I've never seen my mother cry, she was a strong woman.

I looked at both of them curiously, "Mom? Dad? What's doing on? What's wrong?"

They stood there in silence until my father finally choked out, "W-We need to talk to you."

I was confused, my father was actually on the verge to tears too? My mother never cried let alone my father? He never would do this in front of me, he was a man, a father, and a husband, and he was not to shed tears. At least that's what I thought.

" Judai…dear…come sit down." My mother said trying not to let the tears flow out of her eyes.

My heart was beating a mile a minute. What was happening? I've never seen either of my parents like this. I was scared, confused, shocked, I felt a lot of things and I wanted to find out what was going on.

I walked up the stairs that led to the living room. I set down my book bag next to the couch and I sat myself down on it. I watched my dad sit in his average chair he always sat in every night. My mother sat next to me, she grabbed my hands and looked deep into my eyes.

"Sweety," she said in the most comforting tone she could muster, "what we're about to tell you is going to shock you, so brace yourself."

I knew right then and there something bad was going to happen. I felt it in my gut. I gulped down the lump in my throat waiting for what they were going to tell me.

My father sighed and sat up in his chair, "Son, your mother and I have been discussing this for a long time. And we're going to do this because it's what's best for you."

What was it? Spit it out! I wanted to know! And I did. I heard every word.

"We're getting a divorce."

My heart sank, it was like my whole body just collapsed. My eyes got wide my body weighed a ton. This…wasn't right. My parents can't…

"W-What do you mean?" I asked on the verge of tears. My mother tried to pull me into a hug but I backed away, "What do you mean you're getting a divorce?! You can't! I…I won't let you!!"

My mother couldn't hold the tears anymore. She started to sob when she saw I was in pain. I million questions were rushing to my head. Why would they do this to me? This…this is in my best interest?! How could they do this to me?

Then it hit me, it wasn't them, it was me. I caused this, I heard my mother and father yelling the other night about me and how my father wasn't around enough for me. We needed a father-son relationship. That was it, this was my fault…me.

"It's me, isn't it?" I said in a sour tone.

My mom and dad gave me looks like I was crazy, but I knew it was true, it had to be. Why else would they…

The tears came flowing from my face and I started screaming all my thoughts to them, "It's me!! I heard you and Dad yelling the other night about him not being around!! Am I the one causing the stress?! Is that why you're going to punish me by doing this?!"

My mother's face was hurt and shocked. She quickly stood up from the couch, "Honey this isn't your fault!" she yelled trying to convince me otherwise.

But like I said before…you can't persuade everyone.

"You're lying!" I screamed as loud as I could.

My mother started walking towards me as she saw I was ready to run to my room and not come out. She tried to stop me but she couldn't, I pushed her away, hard enough to make her crash into the wall. I ran to my room and slammed the door. I sunk down to the floor and leaned my back against the door.

Soon I heard my father bang against the door, "Judai come out now!!"

I covered my ears trying to block him out, "No!! Go away!!"

He didn't stop though, "Judia open this door right now!!"

I shook my head, "No!! I hate you!! I hate you, I hate you, I hate you!!"

That stopped him. I couldn't believe I just said that to my father. My eyes widened in realization of what I had just said. I was going to apologize when I heard my father's sobs through the door. I couldn't…I couldn't face my father with him like this.

Instead I curled into a ball and sobbed into my arms. This was real. My parents…separated…forever. The thought mad me angry inside. I heard about kids' parents in my school being divorced but I thought nothing of my parents doing the same thing…but I was wrong.

It can happen to anyone.

-X-X-X-X

For the next two weeks, I haven't talked to my parents. Not about the divorce, not about school, not about anything. I completely blocked myself out from them. I thought if they realized the pain I was going through, maybe they would stay together. But it wasn't working.

I sat there at the kitchen table that morning before I went to school, with my Duel Monster cards. I was sorting them out by Magic, Trap, and Monster. Find some new moves so I can beat the kids at school. My father said I had a talent for Dueling, he said maybe when I grow up I'd go to this new academy they built just for young Duelist.

Oh how I longed to go there. I'd show them how great I was. But since my parents would go through this divorce, they probably wouldn't have the money to send me anyway.

I was done organizing my cards when I heard my mother walk into the kitchen.

I ignored her, like I did all this week.

She sighed and came over to my side, "What are you doing Judai?" she asked obviously well aware of what I was doing.

"Organizing my cards," I said in a cold tone.

"You want me to help?" She asked.

"I think you've helped me enough already." I said in a colder tone. I wanted her to go away. I wanted her to leave me alone. Why couldn't she see that?

My mother gave me a puzzled look, "What do you mean by that?"

I gripped the oak table in both hand in annoyance and anger. She knew damn well that I wasn't in the mood to talk to her. So I turned around and glared at her, "You know what I mean, don't play stupid."

Her expression didn't change to shock…but anger. She was angry at me? She took my hand and held it in hers, "Judai, listen to me! You're father and I are not doing this to hurt or punish you."

I turned away, "Then why are you?"

"There are a lot of things I would like to tell you Judai but this is adult business and there are some things you shouldn't know! I don't want this Judai, I don't want to see my son hurting but there are some things going on between me and your father and I that you don't need to know."

Please, what business do they have that I'm not aware of? That's what I was thinking at the time, but I was naïve and I didn't know that there were 'closed doors' so I just ripped my hand and out my mother's and went back to my cards.

But my mother still continued to talk to me, "Judai…we love you. But this has been going on for years and me and your father aren't right for each other. I love your father Judia I do but-"

That statement right there got me. I quickly stood up, "THEN WHY ARE YOU GETTING A DIVORCE?!"

This startled my mom. She stepped back and covered her mouth, shocked from my screaming. She shook her head, "I love your father but I'm not _**in **_love with him. There's just something's that-"

"That I don't need to know! I heard you the first time!" I hissed. I didn't say anything else, I hopped off from my chair and grabbed my backpack from the corner of the room. I slung the backpack over my shoulder and started for the door, "I'm going to school." I mumbled as I slammed the door behind me.

As soon as I got outside I noticed the sky, "It's going to rain," I said to myself. What a perfect day to fit the mood.

I walked down to the bus stop while my friend, Sho, stood there in his spring coat and jeans. I've known Sho for three years know. I've known him since I moved here to my house. We were tight friends, I don't know what I would do without him.

Sho waved to me as I walked down my drive, "Hey Judai!"

I quickly put on the smile to cover up my pain. Sho still didn't know about my parents being divorced yet. And it was none of his business anyway so I didn't tell him anything.

He walked next to Sho, "Hey Sho, what's up?"

Sho smiled then sneezed as his glasses nearly fell off his face.

I looked at him curiously, "Are you getting the cold?"

Sho shook his head, "Nah, someone's probably just talking about me somewhere. Maybe that Asuka girl in our class!" Sho nudged me and winked.

I blushed and put my hand in my pockets, "What's that for Sho?"

Sho poked my cheek, "Oh come on, you know she likes you! And she's like the cutest girl in our grade!"

Poor Sho, didn't even understand the meaning of 'love' Well can you blame him? I mean he's never had a descent girlfriend. They all just use him to get to his older brother Ryo. Which I thought was sad because Sho was a great guy, girls just fail to see that.

I laughed uneasily, "You really think she likes me?"

Sho nodded, "Yes! Manjyome doesn't stand a chance against you!"

I cringed, "Manjyome Jun? He needs to lighten up. I mean I don't know why he hates me."

Yes I still remember being rivals with Manjyome Jun, but he was a friendly rival I guess. We'd compete in everything; gym, races, basketball, baseball, but most of all Dueling. It was what we lived for and you know what? I beat him every single time.

Sho laughed, "He's probably just jealous because Asuka likes you more."

"Ya I guess." I said trying to maintain an excited tone. But my mind kept drifting off to other places, like my mother and father and the divorce.

I was snapped out of my thoughts when I saw the bus coming down the street. Another day at school, oh joy.

X-X-X-X-X

I sat there in my desk as the teacher started roll call to see if everyone was there. I hated homeroom, the teacher hated him for some oddly reason and he had to sit by this guy named O'Brien. Who wasn't the nicest kid on the playground, actually he's the kid that would beat the crap out of you on the playground.

But today I didn't care really. I just sat there twirling my pencil in my hand while starring out the window into the now darkening sky. This day felt strange, like something was bound to happen, anything.

But I didn't let it bother me, I tried to keep my mind on other things. As I was trying to do that I felt a tap on my shoulder. I looked back to see it was Rei.

I really wasn't in for the mood with her today, but I couldn't be rude so I smiled, "What is it Rei?"

She blushed and looked to the side, "Well…um…I was wondering if…you were okay."

I knew this girl was into me, she'd always do the same thing every time when she talked to me, blush and then was fidgety while talking to me. But again I answered her question, "Yes I'm fine, why do you ask?"

She sort of jumped in her seat then looked out the window, "Well…you haven't been as happy as you usually are…I was just curious."

Again I continued my smile, "Thanks Rei but really I'm fine, I've just been tired that's all."

She nodded then stared back down at her desk.

She really was a sweet girl, shy, but sweet.

Just then I heard the bell ring, time to start the day. But today…it just felt uneasy to me. Oh well just gonna have to deal with it. So I grabbed my books and I walked out of the classroom to my First Period class.

As I was walking down the hall I noticed something. Not really something, someone. He caught my eye for some reason, I first noticed his turquoise colored hair, it was an oddly color really. But it matched his emerald eyes, his eyes, I've never seen anything so beautiful. They were a sea of blue and green mixed together.

He was standing there with a woman who was obviously his mother. She didn't look like him at all though, her hair was black and her eyes were black as well. Their faces didn't even look a like. Strange…

Anyway I was too focused on the boy I tripped over my own feet. My books and papers went scattering everywhere. I felt like a complete idiot. That boy was probably laughing at me right now! What a way to make an impression!

I quickly started to gather up my belongings, and I noticed the clock, "I'm going to be late!" I said out loud. If my teacher caught me being late again he'd surely make me sit out in the hallway…again.

I grabbed for my last piece of paper on the floor, and as soon as I reached for it I saw a hand grab it before I could. I couldn't stop my hand though, soon it was on top of whoever's hand grabbed my paper before me. I quickly glanced up to see who the person was. I was shocked to see the turquoise-haired boy in front of me, with my hand on his.

I gasp and pulled away, I felt my blush creeping on my face. The boy was cuter up close.

"Here," He smiled handing me the paper.

That smile, it could melt anyone's heart. It was so beautiful and now I come to think of it, everything about this boy was beautiful. I was hesitant to take the paper but I did. All I could get out was a simple, "Thank you." I was so memorized by this boy I couldn't even speak.

He still smiled and said, "You're welcome." Then he stood up and offered his hand to me. I carefully gripped his soft, warm, hand as he pulled me up.

I was still speechless. So all I did was bow to him as if thanking him and started to walk away. I didn't dare look back at him, seeing the dumbstruck look on his face would be hard enough on me already. So I just keep walking to my class.

I finally got to my class and slid open the door. I felt uneasy as all the eyes in the room glanced over towards me. I hung my head and walked over to an empty desk and sat in it. I dropped my books on it with a 'thud' and didn't dare look at the teacher.

But the teacher had already noticed.

"Yuki Judai!" He called out.

I flinched in my desk, "Y-Yes Mr. Chronos."

The blonde haired teacher, who I personally thought could be a woman trapped in a male's body, pointed towards the door as a signal to get out of his classroom.

I did as I was told and I got my books and walked towards the door. I ignored the snickers from Manjyome and just walked out the door.

I got outside the classroom and dropped my book once again on the ground. I leaned against the wall and slowly slid down it. Could these past few weeks get any worse? I have my parents, my grades, and not getting in trouble at school. I sighed, this stress was getting to me.

I glanced over to the window to see it was starting to rain. What a perfect day for rain. Actually I couldn't be happier for it to be raining. But this rain, it's probably ruining people's day. People are probably planning to do things but this rain is in their way. That's when it hit me, I'm becoming the rain. I'm ruining my mother and father from being so depressed and pushing them away. Instead of avoiding them, I should really just be talking to them about the situation.

Oh how I feel like an idiot now.

That's it, today after school I'm talking to my parents! I'm going to get these things straightened out! I'm tried of being in the dark.

I'm going to be strong about this!

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Kikuchan: You go Judai-chan!! Be strong face your parents!

Judai: I am strong!!!

Kikuchan: Hell ya!! ….now please leave a review! xDD


	3. Please Don't Go

**I got so many reviews for this story!! I'm thankful for all who reviewed and I'm contiuning with the next chapter. I have people saying this is sad, well I thought this chapter was pretty sad T.T i cried while writing it. Basically because I have went through the same thing that Judai's going through in the story and I know some people in the reviews said the same thing to. Well anyway Here is the next chapter!!**

**ENJOY!!**

X-X-X-X-X

I sat in my chair the last period of the day wondering on how I was going to confront my parents on his whole situation. Or should I even bother? Maybe they don't want to talk about it, I mean I have been so rude to them in the past few weeks. They are probably fed up with me, being the annoying brat I was becoming. It was like all these thoughts just now came to my head. I guess it took a while for this whole situation to actually sink into my head. This was no game, I had to be strong, and that's what I'm going to be today. Strong.

But I was so worked up and wondering about what was going on at home that I totally forgot about the test that was right in front of me. I snapped out of my daze and look up at the clock...only 5 more minutes?! I need to get this test done or I'll be flunking Mrs. Ayukawa's Health class. Which by the way is not the only class I am flunking in, it seems like a lot of my classes I have been doing bad in. I just haven't be focusing on my work, my mind is wondering to much.

I franticly started to write chicken scratch on my test. Oh please get some of the answers right! I randomly guessed at the multiple choice circling any answers that seemed somewhat right.

Mrs Ayukawa stood up from his desk and clapped her hands, "Okay please turn your tests to the front!"

I wrote down the last random answer on my paper and handed it to Manjyome who again gave me, what I counted, the tenth icy glare today. But I ignored him, I had better things to worry about than him. So once again I sat there as the papers were all handed to Mrs. Ayukawa. She started to look through the papers randomly to see if everyone turned one in, but the strange thing is, she stopped. She looked closely on this one paper, it was like the teacher was trying to see through it or something. Mrs. Ayukawa soon turned her face from the paper to me.

I knew it. I probably did so horribly bad that she's in shock.

Mrs. Ayukawa pointed at me, "Judai, can I see you after class today?"

No. Well that's what I was thinking. I didn't have time for her and her stupid lectures, I had to get home today. But all I did was nod, but I was really shaking my head on the inside.

Soon I saw Manjyome turn around to me with a smirk, "So loser, you failed another test?"

I have him a dirty look, "That was only the third one this week."

Manjyome shrugged, "Pretty surprising when you're a straight A student." With that being said he turned back around.

Well I had to admit that he was right, I'm usually so good at school and I've been doing really bad lately. Oh well I can fix it, all I have to do is study more, I'll be back on track in no time.

Soon the bell rang. The students gathered their books and walked out the door to their lockers. But I was the only one who stayed behind. I got my books and I walked up to Mrs. Ayukawa.

"Okay, what did you want to talk to me about?" I said in a sassy voice. The redhead teacher sighed and held up my test I had just passed up. I saw a big 'F' on it in red pen. She handed the paper to me and I snatched it from her hand.

I swore I heard her give out a gasp from my sudden movement, but she just stood up from her stair and looked me straight in the eye, "Judai, you are a good student and very social."

"Thanks for the compliment," I replied.

She sighed again, "But you haven't been doing well in my class lately and what I've heard it's the same in your other classes."

Oh so what? She's going to give me a scolding, who does she think she is?

"So? What are you getting at?" I asked.

"You have been getting in trouble and getting bad grades, this isn't like you."

State the obvious why don't you? I mean I have a good reason why I'm like this. Oh God, now I'm using my situation at home as an excuse! Now I'm just feeling sorry for myself which I think personally is pathetic. I didn't want my own pity and I certainly didn't want anyone else's, so I'm not going to tell this naggy teacher anything.

"I just haven't had time to study, that's it." I said.

Mrs. Ayukawa folded her arms and leaned back in her chair, "Okay if what you say is true, then why have you been getting in trouble?"

'If what you're saying is true?' What the hell?! Is she doubting me?! And I haven't had time to study, really! My parent's have been arguing more than usual and I can't concentrate on my work. Also my dad has been in and out at different hours in the day and night and that's pretty tough! And this lady is doubting me?!

"Look I don't need to talk to you about my problems! That's my own business to handle!" I snapped.

She didn't seem phased at all by my snippy attitude, which actually made me more angry. All she did was nod and I swore I saw a little smile curl on her face. As if she knew something and wanted me to spill out what I was hiding. But I wasn't falling for it, not with her.

Instead of screaming my thoughts at her I sighed, to calm myself down and started to walk away.

"Where are you going?" She asked.

"To the bus," I mumbled, "I'm going to miss it." With that I slammed her classroom door shut. I didn't hear her get out of her seat or anything to come after me so I just kept walking. And serves her right to have the door slammed on her face, she's poking her noise into my business.

But I didn't let it bother me, I just quickly went to my locker and grabbed my book bag. I shoved my schoolwork into the pocket, zipped it up, and slung it over my shoulder like always. I looked at the clock, only two minutes until the buses left. I needed to hurry, damn that Mrs. Ayukawa!

I ran down the halls as fast as I could and ran so fast down the stairs I almost tripped and landed flat on my face. I jumped off the last two stairs and ran out the front entrance of the school. Thank God because the buses were still there! I started to run up the my bus and I actually knocked on the sliding door. The bus driver opened the door and I walked into the giant yellow car.

I looked around trying to find a seat but they were all taken. I hate when this happens. I soon saw Sho sitting in the back with his older brother, Ryo and his rumored boyfriend Fubuki. I walked to the back of the bus and grabbed the seat and swung myself into it.

Sho laughed at me, "You look exhausted, where were you?"

I threw my head back on the old leather seat and panted, "Mrs. Ayukawa."

Fubuki leaned over Ryo's lap, "Did she bitch at you or something?" he asked.

I nodded, "Ya she was all, 'I'm concerned about the low grades you have been receiving, blah, blah, blah, blah'" I actually tried to make my voice sound like Mrs. Ayukawa but it just came out as a squeaky noise.

Ryo gave me a strange look, "Your grades are bad?"

Oh crap! I shouldn't have said that, Ryo never let anything that was out of the ordinary slip by him. He knew I was a good student and now he's going to get on my ass about it or ask me questions.

"I-I haven't been studying, that's all," I said nervously getting ready to get pounded by questions. But all he did was shrug and turn around. Phew! He let it go! I thought this was very unlike him but I wasn't going to argue with it.

Fubuki then smirked and ran his finger down Ryo's collarbone, "Ya, I haven't been getting any study time either thanks to Ryo here."

"I knew it!" I screamed gathering many of the other bus riders attention, "I knew you two were-" I couldn't finish my sentence for two reasons. One, Sho had covered my mouth with his hands and two, Ryo's teal eyes were starring at me like daggers which told me to 'Shut up'.

"Ya me and Fubuki are going out but you don't have to announce it to the whole bus!" He hissed.

I pulled Sho's hand off my mouth, "I'm sorry. I just find this a little shocking."

Fubuki raised an eyebrow, "Why?"

I shrugged, "I don't know because Ryo is feared by all and you're a crazy happy-go-lucky guy. If you haven't noticed those to qualities don't mix really well." And that right there is what I find very amazing. Those boys that are totally opposites are together. I guess they prove the saying 'Opposites attract" very true.

The dark haired blunette, all of a sudden, pulled Fubuki into a chaste kiss. I for one, was surprised. I mean Ryo has never even held his last boyfriend or girlfriend's hand let alone kiss them. This was serious! Times like these I wish I had a boyfriend that loved me like Ryo loved Fubuki. Touched me, kissed me, told me he loved me. Oh well my time will come soon enough, I just hope.

Sho blushed at his older brother's actions, "N-Niisan!"

Fubuki squealed like a little school girl and hugged Ryo, "I love you!!"

Ryo started to blush like mad when some of the people on the bus started to stare at them. I just envied them the whole time, not even my father spent time with me anymore. I mean Ryo is even being more loving than my father, even my mother are being to me.

I snapped out of my thoughts when we started to get to my stop as well as Ryo's and Sho's. I picked up my book bag from the seat and waited for the two brothers to get their stuff. I watched at Ryo gave Fubuki another kiss and I saw the words, "I love you" silently come out of his mouth.

Who would of thought...

I smiled at those two love birds. I guess everyone has a soft side, even Ryo.

Sho started to push me forward to hurry and get off the bus. I started to walk towards the door of the bus almost tripping on peoples feet and who refused to get out to the way when they clearly saw us coming.

We finally pushed out of the crowded aisle and walked off the bus. As soon as I walked out I threw my book bag up in the air and caught it with my hands. Happy that school was finally over for the day. And I was actually going to talk to my parents today. I actually got to thinking about it and I'm sure they'd be happy to talk to me about this whole divorce thing. They may actually be relieved that I'll finally be able to understand why they decided to do this...you know, the separation.

The two blunette brothers and I started to part ways as I started to walk into my driveway. I waved at them, "See you guys tomorrow!"

Sho nodded and waved back. But what I noticed was Ryo giving me suspicious looks and looking up at my house. What was he looking at? Was his mind starting to wonder about my bad grades? Maybe he really isn't going to let it go. I just hope he doesn't find out about my parents...not yet anyway.

I ignored it trying not to let Ryo bother me and I walked up the cement steps up to my house. I got to the porch and pulled out my key to open the door, but I noticed something...it was unlocked? But mom wasn't home when I get home from school, and neither is dad. I guess their cars are in the garage or something. Whatever, who cares if they're home early? More great for me because I can get straight down to this talking thing.

I opened the door, "Hey! I'm home!" I took off my shoes and set my book bag on the rug. I walked up the stairs with my hands in my hoody, "Hey! Anyone home?" I called again. I heard muffled yells within the house and footsteps. They were quick footsteps, as if someone was in a hurry.

Soon I walked through the living room down the long hallway where the yells got louder. That's when I realized it was my mom. Then I heard a loud manly yell, my dad of course. They were fighting again? This was really starting to get on my nerves with the fighting. So I just sighed and walked into their room where the sounds were coming from. I'll at least try and stop them.

I appeared in their room, "Hey, hey, you do know I'm home right?" I asked in a lazy tone. But my eyes widened slightly when I saw two large suitcases on the bed. Was my father going on a business trip or something? Maybe that's why they are screaming, my mother always hated when he would go out of town unannounced to the family.

My dad came out with a bunch of clothes in his arms and shoved it in the suit case.

I slowly walked over to my dad's side, "How long are you going to be away for?"

My father jumped in surprise of my voice. It was like he didn't even see me. He shook his head, "Judai? What are you doing home so early?"

"Um..." I had a blank look on my face, "Dad you do know that it's three o clock, don't you? I get home everyday at this time."

Soon my mother came bursting out of the room in hysterics and started to throw more clothes at my father, "He wouldn't know Judai because he's never home!"

"Oh don't start this with me Naomi!" My father screamed. (That's Judai's mother's name)

"No you started this Saki! (father's name) You and you're damn job, your damn pride, your damn selfishness, and you not being there for your son!!" My mom screamed in my dad's face giving him a little push.

I didn't understand, why was my dad packing up? I want an answer, but something in my gut tells me...he's not going on a business trip.

"What's this all about? Dad why are you packing up?!" I screamed over top of their yells.

My dad started to laugh, but not a happy one, "Because you know why Judai? Because you mom is crazy! Crazy and manipulative and I can't take it!"

"W-What do you mean you can't take it?! Where are you going?!" My heart was beating a mile a minute, where was he going? When would he get back? I've never heard him talk about my mother that way in front of me.

My mom came over to me and pulled me close to her, "How dare you talk to our son like that!! What kind of monster are you?!"

My dad shut the suitcases with all his strength and zipped it up tight, "I'm the monster you had the mistake of marrying!" He screamed taking both his suitcases and pushed me and my mother out of the way. I still didn't know what was going on, which was obvious already.

My mother let go of me, "Judai stay here you hear me?" I nodded unconsciously. I saw my mother run out of the room calling for my father as he shut the door leading to the garage.

I continued to stand there when my mind was tell me to follow them. But my body just wouldn't move. I felt the tears start to drip down my face. Even though I didn't know what was completely going on, seeing my parents fight like that, was enough to bring me to tears. My eyes shot open when I heard the garage door open and a car starting. Move! Move! Dammit move!

Suddenly the feeling in my body came back and I sprinted from my parents' bedroom. I ran down the hall slipping on the wooden floor when I turned the corner. I ran down my stairs and burst out the front door and caught my dad right before he started to back out. "DAD DON'T LEAVE!!" I screamed as loud as I could with tears pouring out of my eyes.

But my dad didn't hear me over the sound of my mother's screams and the loud engine of his truck. That's when he started to back out of the driveway. For some reason I felt like this was my last chance so I jumped off my porch and ran onto my driveway. I don't know what caused me to do this but I put my arms out as if blocking the car from leaving. I didn't even move when the car started to roll towards me with no intension of stopping. Closing my eyes I screamed so loud my lungs nearly burst, "PLEASE DON'T LEAVE!!"

My mother gasped, "Judai!" She turned to my dad, "SAKI STOP THE CAR!!"

My dad looked behind the car as he was backing out and saw me with my face red from crying and screaming my lungs out. He let out a scream and curse as he hit the breaks so hard he nearly broke it off. He swung open his car door and ran out to me as the car was inches away from my body. I stood there shaking from realizing what I was doing. I was so close to...dying.

My mother burst into more tears, like a waterfall of tears as she ran towards me. I fell to the concrete ground shaking as tears pured out of my ears unwillingly. Soon as I knew it my mom was next to me holding me tightly in her arms.

"Judai, what did you do that?!" She kept yelling to me.

Really...I didn't know why it was just reaction to my father leaving that brought me to this. On the ground, sobbing, nearly getting hit by a car, shaking in my mother's arms. I was scared, I didn't know what to do. I remember...my father said nothing but just stood there in shock of almost running over his own son.

I looked up at my dad, looking terrible with my puffy eyes and red face and I whispered, "Don't leave...please..."

My mother turned up to my father with a dirty look on her face, "What are you going to do?"

My father didn't say anything, he just walked away from me and my mother back into his truck and started the engine again. My eyes started to get wide again, he wasn't even concerned about me? I'm sitting here shaking and he doesn't even say anything to me? That's when I grabbed my mother and started to sob as loud as I could. This wasn't right.

My dad looked out the window back at us, "Move." he said coldly.

We did as he said, my mother literally carried me to the grass of the side of the grass. My father backed started to back out of the driveway. He stopped and stared at my mother.

I will promise you, I've never seen my mother's eyes so cold and nasty in my life. She glared into my dad's brown eyes with her black ones. Like she was stabbing him with daggers, "So what? You're going to leave your only son?" she said viciously.

He shook his head, "No, I'll be back to take him in a few days."

My mother shook her head, "No, I won't let you take him. You're not allowed back here."

"He's my son," he said while looking at the steering wheel, "and this is my house. I'm allowed at this house and I'm allowed to see my son. You're the one that will be leaving."

"You can't-"

I shot a icy glare at my mother, "If you don't get out of this house I will take that boy away from you."

My mother's eye widened, "I wouldn't dare take my son away from me!"

He started to back out of the driveway, "We'll see in court." I watched as my father backed out of the driveway and soon drove off down the street.

And that's the last thing I heard his say before he drove off, up the street.

This was the day of my life when I realized how cruel this world is.


	4. Hot New Transfer Student!

**Hello Hello!!! Thanks to all who reviewed last chapter!! I'm too lazy to reply to your reviews because that's just….how I feel? Idk, but this chapter is a very special chapter!! Why? Because…can I get a drum roll?**

**-drum rolls by me-**

**You know what FINE!! I'll just make my own drum rolls….bitches. Anyway DUM DUM DUM DUUUMMM!! Johan is going to be introduced this chapter!! WOA!! Yayness, good, great, gran, wonderful, enjoy the next chapter!!**

X-X-X-X-X

Next day at school wasn't as great as I hoped. After yesterday I was still in shell shock. I mean my father nearly ran me over and drove away without even seeing if I was okay. Excuse me if I'm feeling a little under the weather. Anyway I walked into school totally antisocial with everyone.

I walked up to my locker and opened it forcefully. I started throw my books against the metal shelves. I started to get strange looked from everyone but I just ignored them. Not like I'm going to hide my emotions, if I feel angry then I'm going to show it. Deal with it.

I felt a tap on my shoulder and I froze. I was about to explode already so what does this person want from me?

I quickly turned around and looked at the person with hateful eyes, "What is it?" I hissed.

It was Rei, she gasp and took a step back, "Um…I was just wondering…if…if you were feeling okay."

I smirked and slammed my locker with my foot, "Couldn't be better." I said real snippy like. I closed my eyes and put my books under my arm. I started to walk away and actually pushed Rei away with my shoulder basically telling her to get the hell out of the way.

I felt more and more people turning towards me as I walked to homeroom. I ignored them once again; I don't care what those people are thinking about me right now. I don't care what anyone thinks right now. All I care about is what happened yesterday.

X-X-X-X-X

_I sat there on the ground still shaking like a leaf with my eyes so wide in fear that they nearly popped out of my sockets. My teeth were shattering like crazy as I covered my head with my arms. I looked so pathetic! A pathetic little kid!_

_My mother came next to me trying to comfort me but instant reaction I slapped her away, "GET AWAY FROM ME!!" I shouted._

_My mother gasped as she grabbed her hand which was actually turning red from how hard I slapped it. She had tear droplets forming in her eyes, "I'm sorry…" she whispered. She covered her mouth and said it again, "I'm so sorry!" she yelled muffling her sobs in the palm of her hand._

"_Then why…WHY?!" I gritted my teeth to stop the shattering, "WHY DID YOU DO THIS?!"_

_My mom looked down at me. My shock and fear started to change to pure angry and hate. It was starting to overwhelm me, as I started to blurt out all my thoughts, "THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!! YOU'RE THE REASON DAD LEFT!!"_

_My mother's face twisted into to hurt, like I had just punched her in the stomach or something._

_I twisted my fingers into the grass and pulled on it so it ripped out of the ground, "You were so concern about you own happiness that you didn't even consider mine!"_

"_No, that's not true!" She yelled to me, "We did this because we couldn't have you living with parents that didn't love each other!"_

_Rather have parent's that hated each other and were together than having to go through this chaos. Nothing was more painful than having to see your parents just pouring their hate out for each other. And the only reason they are spilling out their hate is because of this stupid divorce so personally staying together would be better._

_I just shook my head, "Whatever I'm done!"_

_My mom gave me a strange look, "Done? W-What do you mean by that?"_

_I started to walk away into the house, "Done with you, I don't need to hear this anymore!" I didn't even look back at her when I said that. I just walked up to the front door, opened it, then slammed it shut. Basically losing all hope for my mother._

_I stood there in my house with my hand still on the knob of the front door. I stayed there for a while before the tears started to rush out of my eyes like a fountain. That's when it sank in. _

_That there was nothing I could do to stop this._

X-X-X-X-X

Just thinking of that made my blood boil. My mother especially, with her stupid excuses. Well I thought they were excuses as the time. I was blinded by anger, rage, and confusion I didn't know really. But I made a promise to myself this morning that I wouldn't focus on my family problems while at school. I just need to think about getting my grades up, that's it.

Just relax….

I took a deep breath, calming myself slightly. I dropped my books on my desk and sat down in the seat. I rested my head on the cold desk and stared at the window. It was actually sunny today, which I took that as a good sign. Maybe something good would happen today.

Just then I felt yet another tap on my shoulder, which was really getting annoying. I turned to whoever was bothering me, "Yes?" I said in the happiest voice I could muster.

Manjyome…Oh great, I seriously wasn't in the mood for him today. I groaned and turned back around in my seat.

I felt Manjyome hit me in the back of the head with his eraser, "Hey retard it's not nice to turn your back on people!"

"What if it's a person you incredibly dislike?" I asked not looked back at him.

I felt his fist punch me in the shoulder, "Then you do that."

I turned around holding my shoulder, "Dude what the hell?! I'm really, truly, deeply, not in the mood for you today!"

Manjyome shrugged, "Well I'm sorry that you're being emotional. Go get a knife and cut yourself if you're that angry."

Oh situations like this I just want to strangle his rich neck! Since he has all this money he thinks he's _so _better than everyone. Typical rich kid attitude. But actually I had been hearing about this cutting stuff. People called it being 'emo' or something like that. Apparently I'll focus so much on my physical pain that I don't worry about my mental pain. I know you're going to slap me but…it makes sense, and I was sort of considering it a few days ago. But I didn't have the guts…

But I just turned away from Manjyome shaking away my thoughts of cutting. God next thing I know I'll be going into the mental institution. Wouldn't surprise me none if my mom made me. I mean she always overacts, just like her and my father's _oh so terrible _divorce.

I went back to my business staring out the window. I rested my head weight on my hand just starring away at the blue sky. It's surprising how just starring can take you out of your thoughts and worries. Maybe I could stay in La-La land forever, but I highly doubt that would ever happen.

Well I was snapped out of La-La Land once again! But not by someone poking me or anything, it was just because of the teacher clapping her hands to get our attention. I turned my head from the window to her and I stared blankly. What could be so important to interrupt me from my daydreaming?

She smiled once everyone quiet down and she got our full attention, "Class I have an important announcement!"

Chocolate-covered monkeys just took over Mars? Ha! Now that would be interesting.

She cleared her throat, "We're getting a new student today that just transferred from Europe!"

Oh now she had my attention. I pulled my head up from my hand and blinked a few times. New student from a foreign country, oh Haruhi Suzumiya would be all over this "suspicious new transfer student." (had to say it! xD)

The teacher looked over at the door, "You can come in now."

I watched at the door slid open. I actually started to stand a little bit out of my seat. I was excited to see this foreign transfer student. I watched as I saw a tall, slightly tan bluenette walk into the room. Hearts appeared in the girls' eyes, and some guys too.

My jaw dropped, not only was he gorgeous. That was the exact same boy that I ran into yesterday! He must have been signing up to enroll here yesterday with his mom. Now it all made sense to me.

The boy waved to the class, "Hey!"

The teacher smiled, "So tell us your name sweetheart? Maybe some things about you."

The boy sort of blushed at the word 'sweetheart' I chuckled a little at this, he was cute when he blushed. I took my pencil and stuck it in my mouth and lightly twirled it around. I thought for one, it looked sexy in some odd way. And two, I was very interested in him, very interested.

He smiled, "My name is Johan Andersen. I'm from Europe, I like to listen to music, hang with my friends, chill, and play Duel Monsters!"

My eyes sort of widened, Duel Monsters eh? I think me and this new kid are going to get along just fine.

The teacher nodded, "That's very interesting Johan, why don't you take your things and sit next to…" She started to point her finger around the classroom to see where he would sit.

The girls all kicked the person next to them out of their seats and were raising their hands. The teacher looked around carefully and then pointed to a spot, "There! Right next to Judai."

For some reason I took my finger and pointed at myself, "Me?"

Johan gasped, then took his finger and pointed at me, "You're the boy I ran into yesterday! The one that blushes!"

Now that made me blush more than that situation yesterday. I heard snickers coming from my other classmates from them only guessing how I "ran into" him. Bunch of sickos!

The teacher looks at Joan then back at me, "You two have met?"

We both nodded.

She clapped her hands together, "That's just great! So Judai, you won't mind showing Johan here around the school would you?"

Could I refuse? No, and I didn't want to. Giving up the chance to escort and very handsome foreign student, in your dreams! Back off girls he's so mine! I nodded with a smile, "Sure I'll show him around."

Johan rubbed the back of his head, "Thanks man, hope it's not a bother."

"Oh it's not a problem for Judai," the teacher basically answered for me. "Now go take your new seat."

He nodded and carried his books down to his new desk, right next to me. I was really excited actually, so excited I forgot about my parents. Oh no, now I'm turning into this goofy fangirl…or boy.

I turned in my seat and sat sideways, "So you want to go on that tour now?"

Johan blinked, "Now? Isn't it too early?"

I shook my head, "No, it's the only time we can since we can't skip classes."

"Oh damn and I was thinking about hiding out in the restrooms today and play my PSP." He laughed.

Oh my, what a sense of humor. I liked that, it's a plus for him if he can make me laugh. Was it me or was I complementing everything about him to you? Oh well I don't care because I have the complete hots for this guy…and I've only known him for a few minutes!

I actually started to twirl my bushy brown hair in my finger like some chick! I giggled and stood up from my chair, "Well let's go Johan-kun." Oh my God! Did I just say 'kun'?! Bad me, bad! I'm adding honorifics way to soon here. I blame nervousness.

Johan raised his eyebrow, "Wow I didn't know we were such good friends within ten minutes!"

I shrugged, "I was…being polite?"

"Um…thanks," he smiled.

Phew good thing he didn't ask any questions about that little slip up. But even though he didn't ask, Manjyome sure did. I turned around to him with his back turned to me making kissing noise and putting his hands on his back. You know it looks like he's making out with himself but that's okay….not normal but okay.

Johan saw Manjyome being immature too but he just laughed, "I think your friend is trying to imply something to you."

"Friend? No he's just the school's jackass that's all." I said straight faced.

Johan nodded, "Ohh, well every school has to have one of those."

I shrugged, "True and that's why he can't get a girlfriend." Or any friends for that matter, all of his friends basically like him for his money. Which I kind of felt bad for him, not having someone that likes him for him.

Manjyome stopped his fake make out session with the air and turned to me, "I could get a girlfriend faster than you could get a boyfriend!"

I thought I was going to faint, I don't want the new kid to know I'm…well…like boys. I turned to Johan hoping he wasn't making a disgusting face at me but he just started at me in shock.

He waved his finger at me, "You're…gay?"

Manjyome snickered, "Hell yes he is, everyone knows it!"

"Shut up!" I hissed with my face getting as red as a tomato.

Johan laughed and patted my back, "That's okay because I am too."

Oh wow I didn't know he'd be so open about it. But on the other hand, SCORE FOR ME!! He's gorgeous, European, has the body of a super model, and he's gay! Yes! Thank you God!!

Manjyome blinked, "Wow…that's great…" I think he was more shocked than freaked out.

I just stood there smiling away. This day was getting better and better. But suddenly I felt Johan grab my hand.

"Come on I want to go on that tour!" Johan yelled with joy.

I started to blush…again. Which was probably the fourth time today or more. My body started to get dragged away from Johan pulling on my hand. I stumbled on my feet trying to position them so I could walk right.

"Ah! W-Wait!" I stutter as I almost tripped on my shoe.

Johan still continued to drag my body out of the classroom, "Come on!" he laughed.

The teacher called out before we got out the door, "Make sure you're not late for your first class!"

Johan nodded, "We will," Then with one last tug I flew out the classroom door and landed on my stomach.

Johan closed the door behind him and looked down at me, "Klutz."

I looked up at him with an annoyed expression, "You're the one that was dragging me out of the classroom!"

Johan put his hand on his hip, "Well I'm sorry, I'll be more careful with you!"

I groaned and got up to my feet. I brushed myself off and put my hand out to Johan, "Let me see your schedule."

Johan pulled a piece of paper out of his pocket, "Oh this?"

I nodded, "Ya, can I see it?"

Johan smirked and waved the piece of paper around, "What's the magic word?" He asked.

Oh someone is a little playful. This was another big thing for me. Playful is always sexy in my book. I sighed, "Please, can I see it?"

"Give me a kiss and I will."

Okay I nearly jumped out of my skin when he said that, "What?!" I yelled.

He laughed and gave me the piece of paper, "I'm joking with you, but if you really want to I'm always here."

"Pervert," I mumbled snatching his schedule from his hand. I scanned it, then held it closer to my face as my eyes got wide.

Johan tilted his head, "You um…falling in love with my schedule or something?" he asked.

No, I was just surprised, this guy has the exact same schedule I do. Every one of his classes are with me! Okay now I was just getting lucky. God obviously wanted me and this Johan person to know each other so he decided for him to have the same classes. Ha, nice going God!

I gave a small chuckled and handed back the paper to the blunette, "You have the same schedule as me."

"Really?" he asked, "That's awesome! Now you can sit with me at lunch!" Johan suddenly hugged me, "Yay! New friend!"

This guy was really hyperactive. That's just great, now he'll hang out with me all the time everyday. Which seriously, I'm not complaining. I get a hot guy all to myself! Yes!

I think I'm going to enjoy the rest of the day!

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Kikuchan: Oh love at first sight!!

Judai: I know! It was like we were meant for each other!

Kikuchan: I know right?

Judai: Like totally!!

Kikuchan: Like yay!!

Johan: SHUT UP!!!!

Judai and Kikuchan: So not cool!

PLEASE LEAVE YOUR REVIEWS!!! Oh and I need to ask, should I continue "Eternal Love' or does it just fricken suck?? Because I'm thinking it does and I'm not getting many reviews! So please answer that question bc my main focus is on this story!


	5. Lunchtime Conversation

**DUM DUM DUM DUMMM!! …God damn I need a drum roll badly!**

**-drum rolls across ground-**

**Stop that!!! God I'll turn you into fish you drum rolling bitches!! Well um…DUM! Enjoy this next chapter it's funny and random…but then a hint of sorrow…PERFECT COMBINATION!!! **

**Anyway enjoy your hearts out!!**

**----------**

Finally this stupid tour of the school was over! It felt like it took forever! Today is the day I just realized how big our school is. Not like anything in this stupid school was worth showing. Other than the touch-screen chalkboards and a computer in the lunch room that processed your lunch account. Which was pretty cool, but not worth writing home about.

But I enjoyed it because I was with Johan. It sort of ups your popularity if you're hanging out with a gorgeous European. What was funny was that people kept coming up to him and asking if he had an accent. Apparently word spread fast about Johan being here.

The tour was cut short because of the bell, which wasn't really wasn't all that bad because Johan had the exact same schedule as me, scary I know. So he and I walked to our first period class talking about something not really important and that's why I don't remember.

And that's where we get to Social Studies. Johan wasn't seated next to me; he was all the way across the room. Which I thought was good. I mean I would be with this guy every school day all day, I think we would need some space here and there. But even though we were spread apart I still kept looking back at him. He was just sitting there with a bored look on his face, he doesn't like school much. Hey, who doesn't?

This is basically our whole morning all through Social Studies, all through Language Arts and all through Science. Which might I add we sit at the same table, go figure. When finally, after the dreadful morning, lunchtime came. And guess who I'd be sitting by? If you guessed someone other than Johan your wrong! I actually didn't sit by Sho, Ryo, or Fubuki, who are also in my lunch period whom I sit by everyday.

I figured that Johan wouldn't want to be crowded by people he didn't know so I just thought he would just want to sit by me. I was the only one he had really talked to all day. He was nice to the girls that were all over him and the guys that would just sit there BSing with him. But I was the only one he actually wanted to talk to. I was so special!!

We finally got out of the huge lunch line and got the crappy stuff that even prison inmates wouldn't think of eating, even dogs. That's when Johan and I sat down I warned him not to eat it if he planned on getting sick to skip a test.

"Well my dad said I wasn't allowed to take days off of school anymore since I missed so many days at my last school." He stated.

"How many days?" I asked.

"Um…about twenty four…maybe more."

I nearly spit out my milk, "Jeez! What did you have killer Mono or Malaria?"

Johan shook his head, "No, I just missed because it gets cold in Europe and stuff. I always refused to wear anything but a hoody outside."

I laughed, "Amen, I hate giant coats it makes me feel like a cream puff."

"A yummy cream puff!" Johan literally shouted.

I raised an eyebrow, "Was that sexual?"

Johan shrugged, "I don't know, I could be, wasn't intended though. What, you want me to touch your creamy center you sicko!"

"Oh yes it will be lovely, get to it." I joked. And there I realized that this was a very strange conversation about me being a cream puff and him licking my creamy center. I don't want to find out where that is. That is a journey I wouldn't go on.

Johan just laughed and shook his head. He took his milk and pointed one finger at me, "You know, you look like a really fucked up kid you know that?"

"What?!" I screamed, "How?!"

Johan shrugged, "I don't know, your messy brown hair just does it for me. It looks like you're a mental case that doesn't comb their hair."

I smirked, "Oh well you have gravity defying hair! How much hair spray do you put in it?" (thank you KyosakiFan I got that from you!)

"Okay, okay, you got me you mental cream puff," Johan got up and poked my stomach, "I just touched your creamy center!"

I smacked his finger away, "You're an idiot."

"A sexy idiot I know," Johan laughed.

I nodded slowly, "Uh huh…and Johan what is you IQ?"

"170."

I just fell from space or something because I felt my ass just hit the tile floors. My eyes widened, "No way you're not that smart!!"

Johan nodded, "For real man, I'm actually a straight A student."

"So am I!" I snapped. So this guy has brains and looks? This is a very rare combination. You usually have one or the other, but both is just amazing. Oh but I'm smart too, just not at the moment and we all know why.

The blunette peered over the lunch table, "You going to get up?"

I shook my head, "No, no I like the floor. It's cold and nice."

Johan gave a small chuckled, "Get up, seriously."

I groaned and pulled myself up by the lunch chair. I got off the cold nasty floor and sat back in my chair. I pulled by hair out of my face, "Okay I'm good."

Johan took his fork and stirred is food, with really no intention of eating it, "This is sick, what the hell do they call this?"

"Macaroni and Cheese."

"Oh God it is?" He asked making a disgusted face. He poked it one more time and started to laugh.

I made a strange face, "What is so funny?" I asked.

"Ha, it jiggles," Johan said in the most babyish voice I have ever heard in my life. It was kind of funny really so I couldn't help but laugh at him.

"I don't think it's supposed to jiggle," I said poking my fork at the "food" they had served us.

"It's amusing, like silly putty or something like that." He said continuing to poke his food. And he kept doing so for what I counted about three minutes. Then finally his hand got tired or something and he stopped poking his jelly Mac and Cheese.

"You done?" I asked.

He nodded, "Yea that gets boring after a while."

Okay for the past ten minutes we had talked about cream puffs, mental people, IQ, and we poked Mac and Cheese for a while. Oh yeah we just made a huge connection, that's love right there! So actually thinking about that I thought it would be good if I asked him some normal questions, or slightly normal questions. Anything in the "normal" category.

I leaned over the table putting my head on my hands, "So Johan…" I trailed off trying to get his attention. And I did, he looked up at me with those beautiful blue eyes filled with attention. I continued my sentence, "Where is your new house?"

Johan scratched is chin, "I really don't know. I just moved in yesterday so I don't know the streets really well."

Well that was helpful. I still had questions though, "So Johan why did you take a big move from Europe all the way to Japan?" I asked.

Johan sighed, "Well my dad got a job promotion here so we had to move."

I blinked a few times before answering, "Did you not want to come here?" I asked.

He shook his head, "No."

"Why?"

Johan was hesitant on answering but then he smiled, but it wasn't a happy one, "Because someone special to me is still there."

Wait was this a boyfriend or something? I know this is weird but I was mad at even considering that was the case. I could be wrong though. I'll never know unless I ask, and I wanted to ask or this was going to eat at me forever!

"Who is this person?"

Johan's face turned pale, it was like a shock just went to him system. I started to worry, had I said something I shouldn't have? He just stared at the ground for a long time. It felt like hours. Now I started to feel bad, maybe it was someone he didn't want to think about.

I turned my focus from my thoughts to Johan again as he looked up at me. He looked like he was forcing on a grin, like it hurt him to smile or something. He played with his fingers under the table and started to sweat terribly.

I quickly put up my hands like trying to guard myself or something, "You don't have to answer if you're uncomfortable with it."

Johan didn't say anything.

I just did something terribly wrong. I probably just ruined my new found friendship with this guy. I obviously brought up a memory to him that he didn't want to remember.

Now comes the awkward silence that lasted forever. And I mean forever!! I didn't know what to say to him. Should I say 'I'm sorry'? No then that would look stupid because I don't know what the hell I'm sorry for. Oh I'm such an idiot! Idiot!!

"Judai…"

I shot my head up at the blunette. He was talking to me? I thought I did something horribly wrong.

"There will come a time that I will tell you who this person is," He said pulling a picture out of his pocket. He held it in front of my face revealing a beautiful woman with dark blue hair just like Johan's. Her smile could catch anyone's eye. Her eyes were a pool of every color blue known to man. So looked so much like Johan, who was she?

I took my gaze to the picture to Johan, "This woman she looks like you."

Johan closed his eyes and put the picture back in his pocket, "Yeah that's what everyone said."

I didn't say anything, what could I say? This woman was obviously very close to Johan and now he can't see her. And weird this is…right before Johan put the picture back in his pocket I saw some writing on it. It said…

'Love you always, R.I.P'

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Kikuchan: CLIFFY!!!

Judai: YOU'RE AN EVIL PERSON!!

Kikuchan: Muhahahah! Beware!!

Judai: Oh my I'm so scared!

Kikuchan: -gets a chainsaw- run cream puff run!!!

Judai: -runs away- PLEASE BE SURE TO LEAVE YOUR REVIEWS!! AHHH!!!


	6. After School Surprise

**NEW CHAPTER! And guess what? ……….okay enough time guessing, this chapter is extra long, JUST FOR YOU GUYS! I know I'm so nice! So I need a drum roll before I start and if a drum rolls across the floor one more time I will pop a cap in someone's ass! DX so just to be safe I got the hott J-Rocker, Miyavi to do the drum roll on his guitar! HIT IT!**

**Miyavi: -makes a drum roll on his guitar- (if u know how Miyavi plays the guitar this would make sense to you!)**

**YAYIES! Okay now presenting new chapter! ENJOY! Thank you Miyavi, you're doing drum roll next chapter too!**

**X-X-X-X-X**

Lunch was over a few hours ago but my mind was still focused on other things and you can already guess what. I should be paying attention the last forty five minutes of school but no one really cares about Mrs. Ayukawa's lessons on the human body. Like we didn't already know off the streets and on TV. That's basically all that's on now in days.

Anyway I stared out the window watching the cars pass below. There I started to think about Johan's picture. R.I.P….it's scary to think that the woman in the picture was seriously dead. Just considering it made chills go down my spine. But what other explanation is there? 

Maybe I should apologize to Johan for asking all those questions. I mean they were kind of personal. No, if I apologize then it will seem suspicious of me. It would be pretty clear I already knew the reason why Johan didn't want to talk about that person. That would only make him more upset. Urgh this was frustrating! Me and my mouth! 

"Judai…Judai…JUDAI!"

I screamed, falling off my chair. God that scared me out of my thoughts fast! I started to rub my butt from landing on the floor so hard, "Ow…" I looked up at Mrs. Ayukawa hovering over me.

"You mind answer my question Judai-kun?" She asked with a harsh tone.

"I-I…um…" 

I heard the muffled laughter of the other students, even Johan. I actually was happy when he was laughing at my idiocy, I thought he was mad or something. Well at least he's not pissed, that's a problem off my chest.

Mrs. Ayukawa grabbed my arm, which took me by surprise and propped me back in my seat. She folded her arms and looked down at me, "Three hundred sentences, due Monday."

My jaw dropped, "Three…HUNDRED!" This was outrageous, I can't write that much, unless she's planning on my hand falling off! "Are you crazy!"

She nodded, "Yes I am! Also, you have the whole weekend to do it so I would be no problem for you, right?"

"Wrong!"

"No, I think I'm right!" Mrs. Ayukawa barked, "You apparently have enough free time to daydream, so you probably have enough time to write sentences."

I let out a frustrated groan and laid my back on the chair. I let my head hang there, just try to restrain my fist from _accidentally _punching the teacher. 

Mrs. Ayukawa started to walk back to her desk. Even though her back was turned, I could feel her smirk, "I want you to write, 'I will start doing my work in health class instead of daydreaming.' Front and back."

"I hear you," I groaned rubbing my hands on my face. My mom isn't going to be happy if she realized I got in trouble….again. Especially if it keeps mainly happening in the same class. My mom was already an emotional wreck! When I left the house this morning she was laying on the couch, eating ice cream and watching soap operas while crying to herself. This will just brighten her day knowing I have to do another writing assignment.

"Well I'm glad you actually heard me this time." She snapped.

"Bitch…" I mumbled under my breath.

"What was that?" Mrs. Ayukawa asked.

"I didn't say anything." Good thing I didn't stutter. I have the tenancy to do that when the pressure is on me. 

The teacher just shook her head and looked out at the class, "Okay we only have a minute left. So no homework this weekend, study for Wednesday test and I'll see you Monday."

The bell rang a few seconds after she was done talking and people started to flood out of their classrooms. I waited at my desk for Johan to get his things so he can walk with me. 

He grabbed his book and folder and walked towards me. He was laughing, "Come on daydreamer." 

"Ah…ah…that's just…you….goober!" 

Johan just gave another chuckle and walked out the door, "Hey daydreamer come on you're going to miss the bus!"

How dare he have the last word! I've only know him a day and he can be so frustrating! He's like a second me when it comes to being smart mouthed. No one can steal that title from me I fricken earned it! 

I quickly ran out to door, "Hey wait up!" I yelled. I sprinted down the hallway until I was walking on Johan's side. 

"Hey daydr-"

"Let it go!" I panted.

"Okay fine," Johan turned to me and smiled, "Daaayyyydreeeaammmeeerr!"

I closed my eyes and gritted my teeth. Times like these it just made me want to….BAM! Oh without even think I just hit him in the head. 

Johan rubbed his head, "Ow! Was that necessary?"

"Yes it was!" I stated proudly stomping off to my locker.

"Don't forget to wait for me sweetheart!" He called out.

I stopped in my tracks. Could he say that any louder? No, that was his intention! He wanted to say it loud so people would hear and then they would make fun of me. Oh he's good! So good I actually started to blush. 

I put my book to my face so know one saw it was me he was talking to. I walked quickly to my locker with it still covering my face. I took my book bag to replace the book that I threw in my locker.

Then a felt a little _tap tap_. 

I turned around with the book bag covering my red face, "Yes?" 

"Um…I couldn't help but over heard…" That was Rei, I recognize that voice anywhere, "Are you going out with Johan-kun?"

"No, never ever!" I snapped, "Now Rei I need to get out of here before more people ask me that question! So I'll see you on Monday!" 

I didn't even give Rei time to answer before I was out of there. I didn't wait for Johan, no way. That would be like committing suicide. So I just continued to walk quickly with my book bag still hiding my face. I felt the stares from other students, probably thinking I'm mentally retarded or something. So I just walked faster.

I felt relief when I finally felt the sun hit my face. I put the book bag around my shoulder like a normal person. I started to head for my bus when I heard a familiar voice from behind me.

"You didn't wait."

I slowly turned around to see Johan standing there with his arms folded tapping his foot. This guy will never get off my ass!

Johan 'hmph', "Some friend you are."

"Yep, get use to it." I said with a smile.

"Oh that hurts my feelings!" Johan ran up to me and gave a playful hug from behind, "Carry me!"

My eyes widened, didn't he know people were looking? Nope, again he did the same plan he did back in school a few minutes ago! Ahh! I pushed him off, "Does the word 'public' ring any sort of bell in your head?"

Johan rubbed his chin, "Um…not really…"

"Well it does with me and you know what people don't do in 'public'?" I asked, very frustrated.

He raised an eyebrow, "Streaking?" 

"Well ya but they don't give each other piggy back rides to their bus."

Johan laughed, "I know, I messing with you. Chill."

I sighed, "Yeah, yeah." I put my hands in my pockets, "So what is your bus number?" I asked.

"Don't ride the bus, my dad comes to pick me up." The blunette said.

I nodded, "Oh, where is he?"

Johan put his hand over his forhead to keep the sunlight out of his eyes, "He's umm…" Johan pointed over to the parking lot, "there!"

"Well I guess you're on your own now. I'll see you on Monday." I waved.

"Wait!" Johan called out. I turned around to see what the bluenette wanted, "Do you want to ride with me?" he asked.

I smiled and shook my head, "No thanks, my mom would get mad if I didn't come home on the bus."

"I understand, well I'll check ya later!" He waved to me while running towards his car.

After he was well gone I started to walk to my own bus. That's when I got to thinking, out of all my friends, Johan is probably the one I can most relate to. I don't know why, maybe it's just because I can tell he's in pain, just like me. We might not be in the same situations but it still hurts, and I feel like he's the only one I could actually think about talking to. It's strange that I met him the day after my dad left and this divorce took full effect.

Maybe this was God's doing.

I'm not the one to believe in that kind of stuff but now I actually think it's possible. Even if it's just a little.

Now I'm laughed at myself, getting all wrapped up in supernatural thoughts about God's miracles. Now I know I'm starting to become crazy. Oh well, it wouldn't surprise anyone. 

Anyway I finally got to my bus and walked up the steps. I was relieved that Sho saved a spot for me, since he was at the back calling my name. I walked down the aisle stepping over people's feet. They seriously need to learn how to move when people are tripping over their bodies!

I threw my book bag next to Sho and sat down. I felt uncomfortable when I felt Fubuki, Ryo and Sho's eyes staring me down. I gave them all weird looks, "What?"

Fubuki smirked, "Don't act like you don't know."

I looked around, "No, serious what's up?"

Sho leaned over my shoulder, "Don't act like we didn't see you and Johan glomming on each other."

"You saw that!" I screamed.

"Someone is in looovveee," Fubuki teased.

"About time too." Ryo added.

Even Ryo had to comment on this situation? Are you kidding me? When I see Johan on Monday I am so kicking his European ass! I wouldn't be surprised if everyone saw him trying to get a piggy back ride off of me!

"No, no, no! I don't like him! He's just very…very…" I trailed off in my sentence. I couldn't find the next word to say.

"Flirtatious?" 

I snapped my fingers, "Yeah that's the word!"

"Did you ever get the feeling that Johan likes you?" Ryo asked.

I shook my head, "No way, I've only known him a day!"

"Maybe it's love at first sight!" Fubuki yelled with glee.

I laughed, "There is no possible way Johan likes me! I mean he doesn't know one thing about me!"

Sho raised his eyebrow, "Then what did you guys talk about at lunch?" he asked.

Oh they saw that too? Nothing is private anymore! I shrugged, "Nothing, just random conversation."

Ryo gave a small laugh, "That's not what I heard."

"What did you mean?" I asked. 

Ryo pointed at Fubuki, "He told me Johan got this freaked out look on his face half way through your conversation."

My eyes widened slightly. Damn Fubuki for spying on us at lunch! But should I tell them why? They're my friends, they can keep a secret. But I don't know, it really wasn't any of my business. I shouldn't go around and tell people something that I don't even know is true. 

Sho started to poke at my side, "Tell us Aniki, what did you guys talk about?"

I looked down at the bus floor, "I don't know if I should tell you."

Fubuki's chocolate eyes widened, "Oh shit it must be big if you don't want to tell us!" the brunette smiled, "Now I really want to know!"

I sighed and looked over the bus seat to see if anyone was sitting in front of us. Nope, everyone was up front, so I guess it's safe to tell them without someone over hearing. I plopped back in my seat and motioned my hand so everyone would come in closer. Which they did, even Ryo, I was surprised he was actually interested.

"You promise you won't tell a soul?" I asked in a whisper.

They all nodded, their expressions filled with anticipation.

"Okay," I whispered, "Johan and I were talking and he told me how he didn't want to move to Japan and like a normal person's response I asked 'Why'? He said there was someone he cared about back at Europe and I asked 'Who'? That's when his face went all white, like I said something wrong. So I start freaking out right? Then he pulled out a picture of a girl that looked exactly like him and told me that there will come a time when he would tell me who this person was. And when he put it away, guess what I saw on the back of it?"

"What, what!" Sho yelled in my ear.

"It said 'Love you always, rest in peace'"

Everyone's face went into shock, even Ryo. They all looked at me in disbelief like what I said was a lie. 

"W-Was it a relative?" Fubuki asked.

I shrugged, "I don't know, probably. But I felt so bad, I'm such an idiot!"

Ryo sighed, "It's not your fault, it's not like you knew about it or anything."

I hung my head low, "I know but I still feel bad." I rubbed my head in both angry at myself and frustration, "He acts like it didn't happen though."

"Maybe he wants to forget about it." Sho stated.

"I guess you're right," I said in a sorrowful voice. 

Ryo got up when our stop started to come up. He patted my shoulder, "It's okay, just think, he's not mad at you."

I nodded and grabbed my book bag. I slung it over my shoulder, "Come on Sho."

The little haired blunette grabbed his books and stood behind me watching for the bus to stop. When it did, Ryo gave Fubuki a quick hug, "You coming over tonight?" he asked.

Fubuki nodded, "Yeah, be ready for me."

Ryo smiled and started to walk off the bus with me and Sho following. All three of us got off the bus and watched it drive away.

"I'll see you guys later!" I called out, parting ways with them.

"Hey Aniki, you coming over tonight?" Sho yelled.

"Don't know, I'll ask my mom! If she says 'yes' I'll be over at six!" 

"Okay, see ya!"

I put my hands in my pockets and started to walk up my driveway. Hopefully my mother was done crying. I wasn't in the mood for her hysterics. Oh how I didn't want to go home, I just want to go somewhere else…anywhere but here.

I walked to the front door and slowly opened it. I peeked inside and listened carefully. I stood there for a good minute until I was completely sure my mom wasn't bawling her eyes out. I stepped inside my house and took off my shoes, "I'm home!" I called out.

I started to walk up the stairs that lead to the living room. I looked around, "Hey mom you here?" 

I walked in the living room more but stopped when I stepped on something. I felt it break on the bottom of my foot. I winced when something sharp pierced my skin. A warm liquid ran out of my foot, it was blood, "Shit!" I looked down to see what I stepped on. My eyes widened, "Wine bottle?" I looked around some more and found empty beer cans and wine coolers. 

This was strange, there was no liquor aloud in the house. That was my mom's rule, so why is it here? 

I heard a moan come from the couch. I slowly made my way over and peered over the arm of the couch. 

There I saw my mom, passed out drunk with a beer bottle in her hand. I let out a gasp, what the hell did she do? What sickened me was that she smelled like puke. That's when I realized it was in her hair. "Mom!" I screamed.

She didn't respond.

I shuck her fiercely, "Mom get up!"

She rolled over on her side, "Get off me!" she screamed.

I gasped at my mother's sudden yelled. I started to get angry, "My get the hell up! You're drunk!"

My mom rolled over and glared at me, "Don't talk to your mother like that!"

I gritted my teeth, "Mom what in Gods name did you do!" I screamed at her.

She was about to say something back to me but she covered her mouth. I took that has an indication that the alcohol was making its way back up. I ran the kitchen and grabbed a small trash can and ran it back in the living room. I set it down and grabbed my mom's head and let her dispose of the booze. 

I made a disgusted face when she vomited more. The smell was enough to make me sick. 

When she was finally done she draped her arms over the trash can. She was breathing hard and gasping for air. I just stared at her with shock that she had actually gotten this bad. I actually was afraid so I stepped away slowly.

My mother pulled her face from the trash can to me, "Judai…I don't feel good…help me…please!" She sobbed with tears running down her face.

I held my chest, terrified at the way she was talking to me. 

This was not my mother!

----------

Kikuchan: SUSPENSE! SUSPENSE!

Judai: It's going to kill me!

Kikuchan: Oh that would suck for all of us!

Judai: I know, it would be a sad, sad day…

Kikuchan: I'm crying just thinking about it! T.T

PLEASE REVIEW! YOU KNOW U WANT TOO! 


	7. Who the Hell is Giese!

**Heyyy!! OMG people this weekend I saw something TERRIBLE!! the worse thing you could eveer see!! ...I saw...actually me and my friend Samantha saw...my dad...and his girlfriend...in the window...DOING IT!! DX -starts crying- my eyes r still blinded by the horrific mental image!! T-T i need a hug!!**

**Miyavi: -hugs me-**

**Thank you -sniff- but you came here for a drum roll not a hug!**

**Miyavi: -sigh- fine! -starts drum roll on his guitar-**

**OKAY!! NEXT CHAPTER!! ENJOY IT BECAUSE I HAD TO RE-DO THIS CHAPTER FIVE TIMES!!**

X-X-X-X-X

I stood there against the wall looking at my mother, no, there is no way this woman is my mother. The woman I knew as "mom" was kind, gentle, and would never stoop so low as to drink herself into oblivion. Seeing her pleading for for me, her own son's help was enough to convince me. She would never rely on me, or even my father when they were together. She was independent.

She vomitted again into the trash can in front of her. I hope this was the last time because I couldn't take anymore of seeing her like this. My mom started to breath heavily again trying to get oxygen back into her lungs.

I felt like running, I felt like I couldn't stay here, like I wasn't safe. But I couldn't just leave my mom here in the condition that she's in, she might hurt herself or maybe even worse.

I was about to go walk over to her and try to get her into her bed. Even though I highly doubt the woman would cooperate with me. But a sharp pain ripped through my left foot. I winced and looked down at the small puddle of blood where my foot was. I forgot about the beer bottle I had stepped on earlier.

My mother saw this and she...laughed? Why the hell was she laughing?! What was there to laugh at?! My foot was bleeding from her carelessness and poor sense of cleaning up!

She pointed at my foot and continued to laugh, "Judai, your foot is red! Ha! What did you do? Decide to tie-die it or something? You're so crazzzyyy!"

I looked at her with shock. Was she seriously so drunk that she couldn't even realize I was bleeding? This isn't good, if she's this drunk who knows what she'll try to do.

"Mom you seriously need to go to bed," I said calmly, trying not to upset her.

My mom gave another small laugh, "Pft! Whatever! I have shit I gotta do!"

"Like what?" I asked.

My mom held the arm of the couch and slowly pulled herself up onto her shaky legs. She stumbled a little while trying to walk but she held herself up by grabbing the wall. She started to smile like there wasn't a care in the world, "I got t-to go to work! Yay!!" she screamed throwing her hands in the air.

"Work?!" I yelled, "Since when did you get a job?!"

She put up her finger, "It's a small job, I started working there a few days ago since this whole divorce thing happened! Knew your dad was gonna leave eventually, that bastard!"

Wait what did she just call my dad?! I haven't heard her talk poorly about my dad to me ever in my life. So this made me angry, really angry, "Don't you dare call dad that!! What makes you so high and mighty? What the hell gives YOU the right to talk about my father that way when your so drunk you can't even stand!! You are no-"

SLAP!!

My eyes widened and I held my cheek. Did...did my mom just...hit me? My mom has never hit me before. She hasn't even spanked me when I was little when I behaved badly.

I looked up at my mom, tears were in her eyes. Her face was getting red with anger towards me and my big mouth.

"Don't you dare talk to me like that...YOU UNDERSTAND?!" She screamed so loud I thought I went deaf for a minute.

I nodded slowly, my heartbeat racing. My mom was so angry, so hurt, I've been yelled at before but not like this. It scared me.

"I'M ON A WHOLE DIFFERENT LEVEL THAN YOU!! SO DON'T YOU THINK YOU COULD EVER TALK TO ME LIKE THAT AND GET AWAY WITH IT!!"

I felt the tears forming in my eyes too. I didn't want to cry, I feel weak anytime I cry no matter the situation. But it was just too hard, my throat even started to hurt from trying to hold it back. So I just...let them pour.

My mom saw me crying and gave a little snicker, "And there you go, crying like a little bitch when you know you're in trouble! You think I'm going to stop because you're crying?!"

I didn't answer, I just hung my head lower sobbing more.

My mom laughed and shook her head, "Unbelievable," she mumbled, "Un fricken believable!"

I looked up at her with my eyes all puffy and red from me crying. I rubbed my eyes trying to get the tears out of them so I could start seeing clearly.

"Whatever, I have to get going," she stated, "clean up the red tie-die floor and quit crying you sound like a little school girl!"

My mom grabbed her coat off the chair behind her and put it on. She stumbled walking over to the stairs to grab her purse with her car keys in it. Wait...car keys...she can't drive!!

I limbed over to the chairs trying not to step on the pieces of glass in my foot. I got to the stairs and yelled for my mother before she left out the door, "Wait!"

She turned to me, "What is it?!" she snapped.

"Y-You can't drive! You're dr-"

"I swear to God Judai if you say I'm drunk one more time I will kick your ass!"

I gulped, she wasn't kidding. She would if she had to. But I can't let her go like this, she would be endangering herself and other people. What if she got in a wreck and killed someone or herself? Then I would have to live with the guilt because I knew she was tipsy!

"No mom please don't go! Have someone drive you! I'll call Grandma, someone, anyone! Just don't go the way you are!" I pleaded.

She just shrugged me off, "Yeah yeah, I'll be back at midnight, maybe later." She opened the door and walked outside. The sun was setting and the air was getting cooler.

I went to go run after her and I forgot about the glass in my foot and I stepped on it. I felt it go deeper into my skin. I cried out in pain and held onto the railing next to the steps to keep me from falling. And what hurt the most was that my mom saw it happen and she didn't even turn back to see if i was okay. She just slammed the door shut and started to walk down the front steps to the car.

My eyes widened, if you looked at me I probably looked like a little abandoned puppy. Oh God was a pathetic!

I heard my mom starting up her car, I had to run out there now to stop her! But I couldn't, the pain in my foot was so bad and I couldn't walk. So I just sat there watching my mom back out of the driveway and drive up the road.

For a brief second, I relived that moment when i saw my dad driving away. I grabbed my chest and started shaking. This feeling...I don't know what it was. I didn't know if it was hurt, abandon, lonely, or sorrow. But whatever it was, it was enough to put me in a state of shock.

X-X-X-X-X

"Ow ow ow ow!!" I screamed as Ryo pulled out the glass from my foot.

After I snapped out of my emotional state when my mom left for her new job, I literally crawled into my room and grabbed the cordless phone off my nightstand and called Ryo and Sho. You can include Fubuki because he was already over there when I called, and being the good person he was, he came over too to see if I was okay.

So here we are, Sho and Fubuki staring at my cut and bleeding foot while Ryo hanked the glass out.

"It wouldn't hurt so much if you would stay still!" Ryo snapped while pulling out a little shard of glass from my foot with a tweezers.

"But it hurrrtttsss!" I whined.

"No shit!" he yelled.

Sho made a sick look, "That's a pretty nasty cut Aniki."

"Yeah!" Fubuki nodded switching his gaze from my foot to me, "How did you do it?" he asked.

I knew they were going to ask that so I made up a fake story to tell them. I plan ahead for these things. "I was running around in the woods out back in my bare feet and there was a broken bottle and i didn't see it and I stepped on it."

Ryo gave me a curious look, "And your mom didn't help you clean it up?"

I hesitated, trying to think of a good excuse, "She umm...was already gone. Yeah she has a job now and she wasn't home. And I don't know how to remove glass really well so I decided to call you guys."

Ryo just shrugged and contiuned to pull the glass out.

"Your mom has a job?" Sho asked.

I nodded, "Yeah aparently a few weeks ago, after my parents told me they were getting a divorce-" Oh no, I did not just say that! Tell me I did not just say that! Oh me and my mouth again!!

"Aaannnddd?" Fubuki asked.

I shook my head, "Wait, aren't you guys gonna ask me..."

Sho laughed, "You know you're bad a keeping secrets!"

"Yeah," Ryo nodded, "You think we're that stupid? We knew about your parents."

"How?!" I asked in a shocked tone.

Ryo took a paper towel and put some peroxide on it, "You're mom told our mom and our mom told us and we told Fubuki." he said bluntly while wiping the wet towel on my cut.

I winced a little but contiuned my sentence, "So why didn't you guys tell me you knew?"

Fubuki smiled, "Because we knew you didn't want us to know."

Even though I was in pain from the peroxide I laughed a little, "I can't hide shit from you guys."

"Nope," Ryo said dully while putting down the paper towel and wrapping my foot up tight with bandages. When he was done and hopped off the counter and tapped my left foot on the floor.

"Nice job Ryo, I can't feel a thing!"

"He's got the magic fingers," Fubuki said while waving his fingers around.

I smirked, "I'm sure you would know."

Ryo grabbed my head and pushed me to the wall, "Shut up Johan-lover."

Sho giggled, "He got you Aniki."

I gave the older blunette a sour look, "Yeah yeah, he needs to shut up before I tell the whole school big bad Hell Kaiser is dating sweet and innocent Fubuki Tenjoin!"

"Ah...ah...innocent?!" Fubuki cried, "I'm not some little school girl you know!"

"Say that at night," Ryo mumbled.

"What was that?!" The brunette yelled.

"Nothing!" Ryo called back.

I laughed and sat down with Sho at the kitchen table, watching the two yell at each other. Which was quite amusing. Sho turned to me, still laughing, and started to talk, "Speaking of Johan, did you know he only lives a few blocks away?"

"What?!" I screamed falling off my chair.

Sho looked down at me and nodded, "Yeah, before you called us, we were on a walk and we saw Johan. I think he's still moving in because he was carrying boxes into his house."

"Did you talk to him?" I asked.

"A little," he said, "We said our 'hi's' and 'welcome to the neighborhood' thing."

Then Fubuki called out, "And we told him to stop by this weekend!"

I nearly passed out when he said that. My eyes widened, "You did WHAT?!"

"We thought you would want him over since, you know, you love him and stuff."

"I do not!" I shrieked.

Fubuki laughed, "Yes you do."

"No I don't!"

"Yes you do!"

"No I don't!"

"Yes you do!"

"No I don't!"

"No you don't!"

"Yes I do! Wait...shit!"

Fubuki pumped his fist in the air for his victory, "You said it! Ha ha ha!! HA!! You like Johan!"

"It doesn't count!" I snapped, "You tricked me! You're a dirty trickster!"

The brunette snickered, "I'm sneaking very very sneaky!"

I smirked, "I wouldn't be laughing."

Fubuki gave a puzzled look, "Why?"

X-X-X-X-X

I slammed the door in front of all three of them, "That's why!" I yelled wiping my hands off in victory. I love how I have supreme authority while I'm home alone.

"Judai it's cold out here!" I heard Fubuki yell while pounding on the door.

"Sorry!" I called, "it's after nine o' clock, no people over after that time! Mom's rule!"

"Be that way then!" He yelled, "Come on let's go!"

I heard their footsteps start to fade away after they got the the end of the driveway. Now i was officially home alone. What to do? What to do? Go to sleep?

NEVER!!

Within minutes I got my popcorn popped, soda cans out on the coffee table in front of the TV, my Xbox 360 plugged in with my Guitar Hero 3, and rentals I got a few days ago I never got to watch. I'm ready to go for on all nighter. Yay!

And within two hours I'm laying on the couch with drools coming out of my mouth and my shirt half way up my chest with my hand on my bare stomach. Empty soda cans on the ground and on my stomach also, along with some popcorn. Guitar Hero was laying down at my feet and my hand held the remote and the TV was still on and playing my movie.

So much for all nighter.

I was snoring so loud it would wake the neighbors next door. I was out like a light. Nothing could wake me up...nothing except for the noise of the front door opening and closing very quietly. Whoever was inside the house didn't want me to wake up.

I shot up from my slumber to see who it was, "Mom?" I called in a whisper.

I heard two voices near the front door, laughing and giggling. Wait two?! That can't be my mom, who would come home with her from her job? Oh God, was someone trying to rob us?! Now I was fully awake and my heart pounding. If someone is robbing my house I can't let them here me or they will beat me up, kill me, rape me, or worse!

So I took my Guitar Hero and put it in my hand. Ya I know it was a bad defense but I can't go running into the garage and get a metal pole and beat the crap out of them. So this plastic guitar would have to do, and this thing packs a pretty good hit. Trust me, Sho has hit me with it before.

I slowly got up from the couch and waited until my eyes were focused enough to see through the darkness of the house. I held up my plastic guitar in attack position so I could strike whoever was in the house. I tip toed around the coffee table and I went to the stairs the lead down to the front door. I defiantly saw two shadowy figures down there doing something. My hands started shaking as I reached for the light switch.

I gulped and counted silently to myself, 'One...t-two...THREE!!" I switched on the light and screamed when the figures came into sight. The two other people screamed too. I stopped before I threw my guitar at them because I've heard that scream before somewhere.

I opened my eyes just a little to see my mom. But I didn't ease up because I saw her with her arms wrapped around another man's shoulders and it looked like they were kissing before I turned on the lights.

I dropped my guitar a stared blankly at the two, "Who...the hell...is that?"

My mom's face got red and pushed away from the man, "Umm Judai, I-I um...why aren't you in bed?"

"That better question would be mom is...why in the bloody fricken hell are you kissing another man?!" I screamed.

Oh my God! My parents just announced their divorce a few weeks ago and my dad just left about two days ago! Now my mom already is glomming on another man? Does she not care about my feelings?!

She hesitated answering, "Umm...we were just..."

I clenched my fist, "I don't care anymore!! Just tell me who is that man?!"

"My name is Giese," he stated coldly.

I looked at the man, I wouldn't dare say his name, that bastard doesn't deserve it! Not even me calling him by his name! He was a tall man, muscular, brown hair that was slicked back with a blonde streaks on the sides, and he had a go-T. His whole face just screamed trouble. I don't like him and I don't want him here.

"Get out." I said harshly.

"Judai!" My mom yelled.

"Get out!" I said a little more assertive

My mom started to get angry, I could see it in her eyes, "Judai! Stop it!" she turned to Giese and whispered to him, "I'm so sorry for his behavior."

I don't think I was suppose to hear but hell that isn't going to stop me, "Get. Out."

I can't believe what the man did next but he stood in front of my mom and said bold faced, "No."

I was baffled that a guy I didn't know and I highly think my mom doesn't know that well either, comes in our house and refuses to leave. Who does he think he is?!

"This is my house, get out!"

Giese smirked, "I'm sorry but your mom has authority over this house and I don't have to leave until she says so."

That's it! Now I'm pissed! "GET THE FUCK OUT!! I'LL CALL THE POLICE!!"

My mom's face was shocked at the way I talked just then. She had never seen me stand up to someone like that or even threaten them. I felt proud of myself, it felt good to stand up for what is right.

My mom turned to Giese, "I'm sorry, I need you to leave."

He nodded, "Alright honey." He went to kiss my mom but I stopped him.

"Don't you dare touch her!" I yelled.

He just gave a small laugh and walked to the door and opened it. He looked over his shoulder and gave me one last look before shutting the door behind him.

I felt relived when he left. That guy gave me the creeps, and I don't want him around my mom. Now that my mom's judgement it down the drain I guess I'm going to have to make some decisions for her.

She threw her purse on the ground next the door and walked up the stairs. Her eyes were filled with hate towards me. I flinched when she was only a step away from me thinking I was going to get hit again.

I waited for the impact...but there wasn't any. She just stared at me for a long time and headed for her room without another word. I closed my eyes when she slammed her door shut. I knew she was angry but it was for her own good. I can't have her running around with an asshole like that Giese guy. Like it or not.

I sighed and went back into the living room to turn off the TV. I'll clean up the rest of the mess in the morning because it was midnight and I didn't feel like cleaning. I turned off the light that I had just turned on a few minutes ago and I started to walk down the hallway to my bedroom.

I got into my own room and closed the door lightly, trying not to make any sudden noises that might piss my mom off more than she already was. I didn't feel like changing into pajamas, all I was wearing was some basketball shorts and a T-shirt. I lazily got onto my bed and pushed off all the pillows and they fell on the floor. I pulled down the covers and sheets but I was too tired to get in them so I just flopped down on the bed.

I stared at the ceiling at what seemed like forever. Just thinking about everything. That's when a got the feeling in both my mind and body that even though I screamed my lungs out at him and threatened him with the police, I just think that, this won't be the last time I see this Giese person.

But if that's the case and he wants to be stuborn about this and keep coming over because he just wants to piss me off. Well, then next time I will kick the crap out of him with my plastic guitar hero!

I laughed a little at myself saying that. Oh that will scare him off, killer sixteen year old with guitar, that would make the evening news. But now I'm being serious, if mom thinks that guy is going to take the place of dad even thought he left, she's wrong!

That's why next time, I won't be so nice.

X-X-X-X-X

Kikuchan: That's right Judai kick his ass!!

Judai: I will!! -grabs knife- I may even kill him!

Kikuchan: 0-0 no no no!! -grabs knife- you no kill him unless I say so! I'm the authoress here!

Judai: damn..-pouts-

Kikuchan: -waves knife around- please review!! i want my reviews! -points knife at you- or else!!


	8. A Normal Day Gone Terribly Wrong

**Omg omg! I'm sooooo sorrrrryyyy that I took nearly a whole fricken month to update! I just been caught up in testing and stuff like that and I've been watching nothing but Bleach for the past 2 weeks, I'm on episode 109 YAYIES FOR ME!! :D Well to make this up to you, I made and extra EXTRA EXTRA long and interesting chapter for you guys! So I hope this makes up for the wait!**

**Please enjoy!!**

X-X-X-X-X

I was enjoying sleeping in on this great Saturday morning. The sun was peaking through my window, the birds were chirping their songs, it was so peaceful and quiet. I opened my eyes slightly looking at the ceiling and the reflection of the sun on it. I closed my eyes, not completely use to the light yet. I groaned and turned on my stomach and buried my head in the pillows.

I was still tired so I sat up and pulled down the covers more and got under them. It was warm from my body heat laying there all night long. Ahh, this was nice, relazing, no one could take this moment from me.

_Tink!_

I turned my head up, what was that? I listened closely to see if I would hear it again. I waited a few moments then I just laid back down. Must be my imagination or something.

_Tink, Tink, Tink!_

I sat up quickly from my bed, okay I know I'm not crazy. There is something hitting my window! I kicked the covers off and walked over to the window. I pulled back the curtains to see what was making the noise. I opened my window and looked out, but I soon regretted it.

_Whack!_

I held my head and stumbled backwards, "Ow! What the hell?!"

I heard voices outside my bedroom on my driveway.

"Why did you throw your shoe?!"

"The rocks weren't loud enough!!"

Wait a second, I know those voices! I stood up and ran over the window and stuck my head out once again. I knew it! There on my driveway was Fubuki, Ryo, and Sho. Urgh! Didn't they get the message last night when I slammed the door in their faces that I wasn't in the mood to hang out right now!

"What are you guys doing?!" I yelled.

Fubuki looked up at my and waved, "Hey Judai! Well we were trying to get you up, wasn't that obvious?"

I quickly looked at my clock, it was only 10:00 in the morning! I looked back out my window, "It's too early, don't you realize people are still sleeping?!"

"But Aniki it's a beautiful day!" Sho whined.

"Not that beautiful!" I snapped.

"Come on get your ass dressed!" Fubuki yelled throwing another shoe at me.

I screamed and ducked under the windowsill as the shoes came flying throw the window and hit my wall. I popped back up to the window, "Alright I'll get dressed!"

Fubuki smiled, "I knew you would! Oh can you bring my shoes down I-"

_Whack!_

The shoes hit Fubuki's face dead on. He fell back on the driveway and laid there with little cartoon characters running around his head.

"There's your damn shoe!" I laughed closing the window.

Ryo stood there with his hands in his pockets looking down at his boyfriend. He lightly kicked Fubuki, "Hey, get up."

Fubuki laid there with a dumb look on his face and a smile, "I see little birdies they all go 'tweet tweet'" he said.

Sho looked up at his brother concerned, "I think he broke his brain."

X-X-X-X-X

I threw off my dirty clothes and chucked them in the closet. My mom would kill me for shoving dirty clothes in my closet but hell if I care. I didn't feel like getting in the shower because everyone was waiting for me and it would take too long. So I took my Axe body spray and sprayed nearly the whole bottle on me. I coughed and put it back down, okay maybe I put just a tad too much on.

I opened my dresser drawers and just randomly started to throw clothes out trying to find a half way decent outfit to wear. I stopped when I finally got to the bottom of my drawer where I found a white shirt with blue and black lettering on it. I loved this shirt, it was the only preppy shirt I would wear to school or outside. So I threw it on my body, it actually wasn't too tight like most shirts people wore. Like those ultra tight shirts where you can see their fat. Urgh! Sick!

I found some jeans underneath my bed that have been there, judging on its smell, about a week. I sprayed some Axe on that too. I pulled those on and grabbed a hoodey that was sitting on my bed. I put the hoodey half way on my arms and started to head out. I opened my door slowly not to wake up my mother. I don't need a crazy hung over woman screaming and shouting at me this early in the day.

But I needed to let her know I was going somewhere or I'd be screamed at more than I bargained for when she wakes up. Oh well might as well get it over with now. I walked across the hall to my mom's room and cracked the door open just so a little bit of light peeked into the dark room.

"Mom," I called out in a little whisper. Apparently it was too much of a whisper because she didn't stir one bit. "Mom," I called out a little louder. I think she heard me that time because I heard a faint groan from the lump on the bed, "Yo Madre!" Okay that came out a little louder than expected because that lump in the bed shot up from where it was and glared daggers at me.

"What?!" She snapped.

I flinched a little from the suddenly yell, "Um…you mind if I go hang out with Sho, Ryo and Fubuki for a while?" I asked cautiously.

My mom groaned and pulled the covers back over her body so only her brow hair showed on the pillow, "I don't give a shit! Just shut the door!"

Okay that was easier than I thought. I just shrugged and shut the door. I put my hands in my pockets and headed towards the front door. I walked down the stairs leading to the door and slipped on my shoes that sat next to it in their usual place. I tapped the front off my shoe slightly to make sure they were on all the way and then I opened the door and walked out into the sunny day.

"That was quick," Sho said.

"Yep I'm skilled," I said while putting on my hoodey on all the way. That's when I saw Fubuki slumped over on Ryo's shoulder and drool was coming out of his mouth like a river. I chuckled a little, "I don't even wanna ask."

Ryo pulled the brunette up more to he could try to stand straight, "Well this is no thanks to the shoes you through out the window."

"Well he started it," I said. I mean seriously, learn how to knock. But I put that aside since really it wasn't that big of a deal, "So what are we doing?" I asked.

Sho put his finger on his chin thoughtfully, "Well, I was thinking we'd go up to the Strip and play free demo games at Best Buy and get some fast food across the street. Oh and maybe we could go to that new ice cream place were you can put whatever you want in your ice cream!"

I blinked, "Woa, that's all within a ten dollar limit."

The little blunette smiled, "I was always good at saving my allowance."

I sighed and put my hands behind my head and started to walk off my driveway, "Come on!" I yelled back, "If I got out of bed to hang with you guys we're hanging now."

"H-Hey! Wait up!" Sho yelled running after me.

Poor Ryo had to carry Fubuki on his back because he was still out of it. Oh well he got what he deserved for disturbing my sleep on this fine Saturday morning. I laughed a little when Fubuki thought he was on some sort of pony ride and started to kick Ryo's sides to make him move faster. Seriously, I think Fubuki is faking to get a piggy back ride off of Ryo, little sneak.

I kept walking with my hands behind me head like not a care in the world while Sho talked to me about the latest updates in his life. Trust me, there's nothing really interesting about Sho's life because I'm always there to see what happens. The funniest and most dare devil thing this little boy has ever done was shove cake in the school's gas tanks and that's only because we threatened him that we would tell the whole school that he dresses like a superhero and stuffs his pants with socks.

As funny as that was and how boring this conversation with him is, I'm not focused on that. My mind just keeps on wondering off about this Giese person. Every time I think about him my stomach turns into knots. His aura is something dangerous. There is more to that man than what meets the eye. I'm actually not really afraid of my safety but my mom's. She's in a totally state of denial, she doesn't know who's good for her and who's bad.

Well we were going to the biggest shopping plaza around this town. Maybe…I don't want to do this but maybe I should…buy a gun. For safety purposes though! Men always take advantage of woman who have no perspective of what they are doing and my mother falls under that category. This is for the best, I know it is.

What if I'm going to far though? Will I actually use it against him? Will he even try something that will even lead to drastic measures like that? But if I don't get it what if we're defenseless against him? What if he does something to mom? What if he does something to me? So many questions!

I rubbed my head in frustration, I had to do it, but I had to keep it secret from mom. God I'm only sixteen and I'm already acting like an adult!

Sho have me a worried look, "Aniki, are you okay?" he asked.

I nodded, "Yeah I'm fine."

He raised his eyebrow, "You sure? If you're not you can always go home."

"Sho I'm okay, seriously." I said.

"But you look like something's on your mind," he replied, "you know you can talk to me about anything that is bothering you."

"Ya I know, but nothing is on my mind."

Sho looked up at me with his bawled up fist up near his chest, "But I know you're worried about something! I can tell Aniki!" he stopped and looked down at the ground, "Is it about your parents?" he asked in a whisper.

I looked away, frustrated with him, "Why do you even have to bring that up?" I asked.

Sho hung his head lower, "I'm sorry it's not my place to ask."

I sighed and looked down at Sho, "Hey it's okay really. Trust me Sho, if I was worried about that kind of thing you'd be the first to know about it."

The statement lightened up Sho's face. He nodded with a smile. Sho can be pretty pushy sometimes, but after being his friend since you were five years old, you get use to it. He can kinda be like a girl when it comes to this kind of stuff because he can never let it be like most guys. But hey, that's Sho for you.

"Fricken Jesus," Ryo mumbled under his breath, "Are we there yet?!" he snapped.

I looked back at the dark blunette, who might I add, was sweating like crazy from carrying Fubuki on his back. I called back, "Almost!" He responded with cussing under his breath. I sighed, "Hey Fubuki quit acting like you're delusional and give Ryo a break!"

Fubuki gave a little squeal, knowing he had been caught in his fakeness. Ryo angrily looked back at his boyfriend, "You were faking?!" he yelled.

Fubuki looked over at me, "Nice going!" Then he looked back at Ryo, "Baby listen, I was tired and I didn't want to walk! I wanted you to have exercise! You know!"

"No I don't know!" he snapped throwing Fubuki off his back. He turned back to the brunette and pointed his finger right in Fubuki's face, "Carry your damn self!" And with that he stopped away ahead of me and Sho and had no intention of slowing down.

Fubuki sat there on the pavement kicking and flying his arms, "Dammit Ryo get back here and carry me!!"

Sho and I laughed and didn't even bother to help him. We just kept on walking, figuring he'll get up by himself eventually. I think Ryo spoils that kid too much and now he expects Ryo to do everything for him, everything to piggybacks to nightly activities if you know what I mean.

But as I expected he screamed in frustration and pulled himself up. He started running to try and catch up to us, well really not us but Ryo because God forbid if his boyfriend gets mad at him he'll completely come crashing down in apologizes and eating ice cream for the next week saying how it's all his fault. Ya, Fubuki can be more of a girl than Sho and that's saying something.

I saw Fubuki run up to Ryo and latch his arms around him. I couldn't hear them talking but I know the brunette was apologizing to him and covering him in 'forgive me' kisses, as I call them. And guess what….it worked….like always! Damn Ryo was such a sucker for the school's badass! What can ya do though?

But this interesting walk was about to end when I realized how busy the streets were getting. Usually when cars start zooming by you at sixty five miles per hour you're probably by a pretty active place in this town. It was actually a very nice place. Especially at night when all the lights are turned on, restaurants start piling up for evening dinners, the whole long building with stores all connected together shined from the spotlights. This is what we call "The Strip" in this town, it has all your needs in one place.

Sho started running towards Best Buy the instant he saw it. That kid loved playing the free videos games, never ever pass up a chance at going to a store with free games on demo.

"Yo Sho! Slow down!" I called, speeding up my pace trying to catch up with him and everyone else.

Sho looked back at us, "You guys need to hurry up!"

I groaned and started to sprint towards Sho so I wasn't left behind. I even ran in between Fubuki and Ryo just when they were about to kiss. Man, if I would have ran through them a little later I might have been in trouble. Close call.

Fubuki put his hands on his hips, "Well that was rude!"

I don't care. I don't need to see that. But I didn't say that to them or else Fubuki would all spaz out on me and trust me, I don't need that!

The brunete looked over at Ryo with a smirk, "But he won't be so rude when he looks at what we invited."

Ryo looked way with his cold eyes looking at the ground, "You really think that was a good idea inviting him and stuff?" he asked.

Fubuki wrapped his arms around Ryo's neck and smiled, "Of course it was! Judai will be so happy!" he said cheerfully.

"It's not that…" he trailed off, "…I'm worried about what you said to him."

"I know, I know," Fubuki said, "but he does have the right to know these things about Judai. He seems like he cares pretty deeply about him."

Ryo looked back at Fubuki, "But I don't think it was our place to tell him something that personal and clearly Judai doesn't want anyone to know. Come on Fubuki he didn't even want _us, _his friends he has known since elementary, to know."

Fubuki sighed and jumped off his boyfriend. He put his hands in his pockets and walked next to him, "I think he's smart enough to know not to mention it to Judai."

"I hope so."

X-X-X-X-X

Sho burst through the doors of the electronic store and ran straight towards the video games. As I predicted he would. I walked in casually, not to cause anymore attention to ourselves. Good thing there wasn't really many people here today or I would be heading the other direction out the door. But I'll deal with Sho's over-the-top attitude today.

I was going to walk were Sho ran to but I was topped by a familiar voice, "Yo Judai!" I turned to see Edo Phoenix standing at the cash register.

I waved and started to walk toward the silver-haired boy, "Hey Edo, didn't know you were on shift today."

Edo gave an unhappy laugh, "Ya, fricken boss is having me work weekends now because apparently I spend too much time watching the TVs in the back than doing my job here."

"You do know they don't actually play TV stations on those plasma screens, right?" I asked.

"Yeah," he said, "I just like sitting in the leather chair and listening to the surround sound. It's relaxing."

"Nice," I said in a bored tone.

Edo sighed and leaned on the check out table, "So what you here for?" he asked.

"Nothing much," I said while looking at the magazines below, "Sho wanted to come here and play free demo games."

The boy groaned, "Fifth time this week!" Edo jumped up on the check out table and looked over to Sho who was just playing away on Call of Duty. Edo cuffed his hands around his mouth and yelled, "Hey freeloader!" Sho actually turned to that which I thought was weird but anything catches that kid's attention. Edo continued to yell at the blunette, "Don't you dare be thinking about bring fast food in here again!"

"Aw why?!" Sho whined/yelled back.

"Because you almost go me fired that's why!" Edo yelled back.

"Well sorry!" he snapped.

"You should be!"

Edo let out another frustrated groaned and hopped back down on solid ground. He rubbed his head furiously. "Damn that midget!"

"My brother giving you trouble?" Ryo asked.

I jumped a little because I have no idea where he came from.

Edo nodded so fast I thought his head was gonna snap off, "Your brother has almost gotten me fired twice this week. You need to tell him to buy a game or find somewhere else to hang out!"

"I'll be sure to tell him that." He said and walked off towards Fubuki.

Edo leaned in closer to me, "To be honest, he really hasn't got me in trouble yet I just want him out of here." He whispered.

I chuckled, "Ya Sho can get that way sometimes. Try living next door to him."

The silver haired boy put his hand on my shoulder and gave the most unsympathetic look, "I feel so sorry for you."

I brushed his hand off, "Ya sure you do."

"I don't." He said bluntly.

"Really?" I said in a sarcastic voice.

I picked up a magazine and started to read it as Edo continued to talk about how mad he was he had to start working weekends now. Oh and since he has to work now he can't go skating with his friends. Apparently that causes a chain reaction.

Even though I was half listening and half not to what Edo had to say I could still hear that annoying bell that goes off every time someone enters or leaves the store.

Edo waved half-assed to whoever walked in and said the usually greeting, "Hey welcome to Best Buy where you can find all your electronics and blah, blah, blah, blah." Okay some-what usual.

I felt Edo tap my shoulder and I looked up at him. He pointed over to the entrance of the store, "Hey isn't that, that new European student that like just transferred to our school?" He asked.

My eyes widened, "What?!" I screamed and whipped around to see if it was really who Edo said he was. As soon as I turned around I saw that blue spiky hair that can be seen a mile away. Those beautiful emerald eyes that just made you want to melt where you stand. Ah! I'm going fangirl again!

Edo squinted and looked closer at Johan, "Yep I say that's him." He smirked and bumped my shoulder, "I heard from some people that you two were glomming all over each other Friday at school."

Oh great I was hoping that not a lot of people saw that but now that it has gotten to Edo I'm basically doomed. I shuck my head fiercely, "No, no, no! We weren't!"

Edo sighed and turned around and started to walk toward the staff room, "Sure, sure, whatever you say."

"I'm serious!" I snapped. But he paid no attention and walked behind the 'Employees Only' door. I pulled my hair in both in embarrassment, frustration, and confusion. So many emotions, so little time.

Well I didn't want him seeing me so I did a Spiderman leap over the counter and ducked behind the cash register. I sat there in ball hoping he didn't see me. What was he doing here? Is this another strange coincidence planned by God? Why, why, why, why?!

"Hey!" Fubuki jumped right in front of my face. I screamed and backed up more against the cash register. Fubuki laughed, "Spooked ya didn't I?"

But this wasn't a funny moment, I grabbed his collar and pulled him close to me, "What the hell is Johan doing here?!" I yelled in his face.

He shrugged, "I dunno."

"Bullshit! You made him come here because you can't get past the fact that I. Don't. Like. Him! "

Fubuki put on an innocent look, "Now why would you think I'd do that?"

"Because you a sneaky person!" I snapped, "And you will not get out of my kung-fu grip until you tell me why Johan is here!"

Fubuki put his hands up, "Okay okay! Before we came and got you we went to Johan's house because I told him when we saw him last night that he should come over this weekend as you already know. So we went and got him and told us to meet us here in like a half hour and we said it would really make you happy if he came, and here he is."

I pushed the annoying so called 'friend' of mine back and stood up, "Sometimes you can seriously piss me off." I gave a little 'hmph' and I walked towards Johan, I mean the guy came here for me I can't just blow him off.

"Go love!" Fubuki shouted.

I flicked him off behind my back as I walked up to Johan. I smiled, "Hey."

I think I startled him because he flinched a little, but when he saw it was me he straightened up, "Hey Judai-kun."

"So now you're adding the honorifics?" I asked.

Johan gave an uneasy smile, "Yeah, it kind of just came out."

I shrugged, "At least I'm not the only one."

Johan nodded and looked down at the ground with his hands in his pockets. This was…weird. Johan wasn't acting all happy and go lucky like I have seen from him. I tilted my head under his so he could see me instead of the ground, "Yo earth to Johan!"

His eye widened slightly and he jumped up, "Oh I'm sorry, I kind of drifted off."

"That's um…okay," Something was wrong. This wasn't like him. He was hyperactive when I met him and I know he is a hyperactive person and now he's being all jumpy. Well I wasn't going to let this go, I was going to ask him what is wrong like a good friend should, so I did, "Johan, is something the matter?"

He looked at me in surprise and shook his head, "No, no, nothing!"

"But you're all fidgety and on edge, and you don't seem like the type of person to be all nervous."

"You're right about that," Johan said.

"So then what's up?" I asked.

Johan sighed and looked around as to see if anyone was watching. Then he looked back at me, "Come with me." Before I could respond to his comment he grabbed my hand and started to guide me to where ever he was going.

Fubuki watched us walking to the back of the store, and you know Fubuki, he thinks something is gonna happen back there so he was whistling at us. But I highly doubt Johan is dragging me back there to do something as grotesque as that.

But the way he was acting made me nervous for some reason. My heart was pounding against my chest and my hands were getting sweaty. I didn't even know why we were going to the back of the store and I'm all on edge.

Johan pulled on my hand harder as he went faster, and I did the same. We walked until we were close to the stocking closet where no one was except the employees and they weren't even back there.

Johan let go of my now wet hand and turned to me. His face wasn't angry or anything so I know he wasn't mad at me. That got some tension off my chest, but just a little. I stared into is emerald eyes for a long time, or so I thought until he opened his mouth to say something.

"Judai…I know we've only known each other for hardly three days and I don't want to seem like I'm being nosy but…." He trailed off, biting his lip as trying to find what to say next. He gave a deep sigh, "You…You know you can talk to me about your parents."

My whole body sunk, "H-How do you know about that?"

He looked away, "Fubuki told me when they came over to my house. He said that you were going through a tough time with your parents getting a divorce and it would be nice to have me come and make you a little happier."

I clenched my fists together so tight they were shaking. Now I was mad beyond belief. Why is Fubuki spreading my personal life to someone I had just met?! Where the hell was that his place?!

Johan looked at me with those wide eyes full of concern, "Please don't be mad, I mean I can actually relate to you on this!"

"I'm not mad at you," I said in a dull tone. I turned around and started to run back towards the front of the store.

"Wait!" Johan called, running after me.

I didn't hear him though, I was blinded by angry, angry towards Fubuki. Tears started to form on the side of my eyes from now knowing that the guy that I actually like alot knows that I'm in a disfunctional situation. I ran faster until I saw that damn chocolate haired bastard standing right where I left him. He didn't even see me coming when I tackled him. He hit his head hard on the ground and I pulled him up by his collar.

I looked at him with pure hate in my eyes, "SINCE WHEN THE FUCK ARE YOU ALLOWED TO SPREAD MY PERSONAL LIFE TO EVERYONE?!"

Everything in the store went silent and everyone's attention went to us, but I didn't care I just started shaking Fubuki and screaming my lungs out at him, "YOU STUPID ASSHOLE!! I'M SICK AND TIRED OF YOU NOT BEING ABLE TO KEEP THAT DIRTY MOUTH OF YOURS SHUT!!"

Fubuki looked up at me with fear in his eyes, total opposite emotion of mine. He grabbed my wrists, "I'm sorry! It was a mistake I shouldn't of said that to Johan but I knew he cared about you just like we did so I thought it would be okay!"

"Okay…? OKAY?! SINCE WHEN IS TELLING PEOPLE OTHER'S PERSONAL LIVES OKAY?! I TOLD YOU TO KEEP THIS A SECRET AND WHAT DID YOU DO FUBUKI?! HUH?!"

"I told…" he whispered.

I don't know what came over me but I punched Fubuki right in the face. The crack of the punch echoed through the whole store and a lot of people let out a gasp.

"Judai stop it!!" Johan yelled.

I bared my teeth at Fubuki, the tears just pour out of my eyes. I started to shake him again, "Mother fucker I'll fucking kill you!!"

Hearing that from me, Ryo ran up to the both of us and pushed me off of his beloved boyfriend. I landed on the floor and quickly got up as fast as I fell. I was about to go after Fubuki again but I felt someone holding me back. I turned around to see Johan, but that didn't stop me from struggling, "Dammit let me go!! Let me go!! Let me-"

I was cut off when Johan turned me around and embraced me in a tight hug. That stopped my struggling. My eyes were still wide but in confusion this time. We stood there like that with everyone in the store watching for a while. I was speechless, and that's when I looked around and realized what I had just done. I didn't cry but the tears came out more than they already were. I can't believe what I just did...This wasn't me...

But I guess it was only a matter of time until I finally snapped.

X-X-X-X-X

Kikuchan: OMG I'm so happy with this chapter that I'm going to through a party!

Judai: Just totally killed the suspense way to go

Kikuchan: I'm sorry –cries-

Judai: It's okay as long as you know not to do it again.

Kikuchan: -sniff- okay….-throws beads to you all- please review!! :D


	9. A Never Ending Pattern

**Hello Hello! I'm back from Paris from seeing L'Arcenciel in concert! No joke I was! It was beautiful there in Paris and the concert kicked ass! Oh you should have been there!**

**Okay I just need to say that I got SO many inspirational reviews! I want to thank people who all reviewed saying how good this story is, or ones that helped me improve my writing, any of them I deeply appreciate it because you guys got me to update ASAP and make other extra long chapter! So thank you very much and I expect more Review for this chapter to!**

**So to say 'thanks' to all your reviews here's a new extra long chapter**

**ENJOY!!**

X-X-X-X-X

I glanced down at Fubuki while still in Johan's embrace. He had blood oozing out of his noise and tears falling from his eyes. Ryo was at his side trying to help stop the bleeding and calm him down from his hysteric state. I didn't realized how hard I had hit Fubuki until now. To be honest, I didn't even realize it until now. It was like something else was in control of me just a few moments ago.

I felt people staring at me, some even glaring. That only made me feel worse about myself. Ryo looked at me like he was ready to kill me. It was like everyone was against me. Didn't they realize that I did it for a reason? Fubuki was the one that was wrong, not me. But no one seemed to realize that.

It's because they don't know. They don't know a thing. They don't know what I have to go through. They don't know how much my life has changed in less than a month. They don't know….they just don't know….

_I mean I can relate to you on this!_

Johan…I bet he didn't know either. He was just making me feel better, he was pitying me. Just like everyone else…

I shoved Johan off of me and he stumbled backwards. He looked at me with those emerald eyes again, "Judai?" he said in a shocked tone while taking a step towards me. Reacting, I took a step backwards. It was a pattern, he'd step forward then I'd step backwards. Johan put his hand out to me, "What's wrong Judai?"

I glared at everyone, my eyes lifeless with tears still staining them, "You don't know a thing." I mumbled, "Don't know a damn thing!" I screamed and ran out the door.

"Judai!" Johan called out. As I expected he ran after me too. He wouldn't just let me be. He couldn't leave it be. I ran out on the sidewalk and ran out into the road but I forgot how busy it was down at this part of town and a car was speeding towards me. The car swerved out of the way, making a loud screech from the tires. I yelped and jumped back onto the sidewalk landing on my butt.

Johan came behind me and put his hand on my shoulder, "Oh God are you alright?!" He asked franticly.

I slapped his hand away and turned to stare up at him, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?!" I screamed, "I'm sick of it!" Johan stood there frozen and looked down at me with a shocked expression. I got up slowly to my feet and at faced him eye-to-eye. "I'm sick of it!" I screamed again, "I'm sick of everyone's pity! I'm sick of people asking me questions! I'm sick of feeling lonely! I'm sick of my mom! I'm sick of my friends! And most of all I'm sick of people thinking that I have no damn opinion on anything!!"

That took the wind out of me. I took a deep breath and held back a sob. I bit my lip and hung my head low, "Why?" I asked in a whisper, "Why can't people just stop talking about it?"

Johan didn't say anything. No, he didn't know _what _to say. And to be honest, I didn't want him to say anything, it would only make me angrier. But his words kept ringing in my head.

_I can relate to you this!_

It kept buzzing in my head, like a bug flying around my ear.

"How?" I said.

Johan jumped a little from the sudden break in silence, "What?"

I made eye contact with Johan's blue eyes once again, "How can you relate to me?" I asked.

Johan's eyes widened slightly but then looked down at the ground, "I um…."

I laughed slightly, but it wasn't out of happiness, "You're a liar."

Johan gave a loud gasp and looked back up at me, his eyes filled with hurt that I would even consider he lied to me. But I knew he was, he had to be.

"That day….the day you went to school to enroll there, your mom was with you, I saw her. Then the next day you said your dad picks you up from school. You make a big move from Europe to Japan I highly doubt your "divorced" parents would move here together." I smirked knowing I had caught him in a lie, "Try to explain that Johan."

Silence.

My smirk turned to a frown and my expression became hurt, "You're a lair, you tried to pity me by saying you know, but you don't know. Don't know anything…" I shook my head and turned my back to the blunette. I was about ready to walk off but I heard Johan's voice.

"She's not my mom."

My eyes widened slightly from the sudden comment. I looked over my shoulder to Johan whose eyes were covered by his hair.

I turned my whole body around to face him again, "What did you say?"

"The woman you saw the day I went to enroll isn't my mom."

I raised my eyebrow, "Then who is it?"

Johan clenched his fists so hard his knuckles turned pure white, "You say I don't know a thing, when really it's you who doesn't know."

I stared at Johan, I looked more closely to see….he was…crying. Oh, I had just done something horribly wrong.

"You don't know…" Johan trailed off clenching his fist tighter, if even possible. He gritted his teeth and started shaking. He shot his head up can glared daggers at me with those emerald eyes of his with tears dripping off his chin, "My mom is dead!!"

My stomach dropped like going down a roller coaster. So…that was the woman in that picture, the one I saw at lunch yesterday. My eyes widened to the point I thought they would pop out of my sockets.

"You say how bad you got it and how you're sick of it all, even you own mom but you know what? Do you know how much it hurts to know that your mom isn't going to be there to welcome you home from school? That she won't see you grow up? That she won't be there when you need her most? Do _you_ haveidea how _I _feel?!"

I shook my head slowly.

"That's what I thought!" He snapped, "My parents may not be divorced but I know how it feels knowing that when you come home that one isn't there and the other is in deep denial!"

My eyes started stinging again with tears. He was right, my dad isn't there and my mom is in denial. He actually knew and just pushed him aside and kept telling him he didn't. I'm such a stupid asshole!

"J-Johan, I…" I fated off in my sentence. I didn't know what to say.

"Just go," Johan whispered harshly.

I looked down at the ground, feeling like shit. I didn't move for a long time not because I didn't want to it's just was that so many things were running through my head that my legs refused to move.

"Go!" Johan snapped.

I gave a small gasp. I could feel Johan's anger so I forced my legs to run. I was out of there, running my heart out to just try and get away.

Johan looked back down at the ground, his fist less tense. He gritted his teeth and twisted his eyes shut. I heard him cuss loudly in frustration.

But I just ran, like the coward I was. Why do I keep running? Why can't I just make my own stand? Why? Why?!

I closed my eyes tight and ran faster until I thought my heart was going to explode. I didn't care though; I just kept running, I didn't know where, just somewhere. _Anywhere._

Go home?

No! Home is the last place I want to go. To face my mother, my hung over confused out of her mind mother. Like I would go back there just to get yelled at for acting like a crybaby, as my mom would say. So I decided the safest place without anyone finding me would be in an alleyway I pasted that was in between a small pub and a bowling alley. It was dirty but anything would do right now to just get away.

I stopped in front of the disgusting alleyway with a huge dumpster beside the back door to the pub next door. I could just smell the alcohol and smoke coming from it. I just tried to get past it and I walked back far enough so no one could see me in the darkness. I leaned against the grimy brick wall and slid down it until I sat down on the cold concrete.

What a great way to spend a Saturday, in a nasty alleyway by a bar. I groaned in frustration and I pulled my legs up so my knees were against my chest. I buried my head in my sleeve and just sat there. Just thinking…

_My mom is dead!! _

I pulled my body closer together, trying to get Johan's voice out of my head.

_You said how I don't know a thing, when really it's you that doesn't know._

I covered my ears, "Shut up."

_Do you know how much it hurts to know that your mom isn't going to be there to welcome you home from school?_

"Get out!" I yelled.

_Just go!!_

I growled and punched the brick wall behind me. I hung my head low, cursing under my breath. How could I be so inconsiderate? How could I…?

_Crash!_

I jumped up from my sitting position from the sudden noise. I looked down the alley, glancing around nervously to see who it was. I saw the door to the pub was the thing that made the noise. I saw a man come out and he was losing his balance. Apparently someone has been hitting the drinks a little too hard today.

He stumbled out and took a big swig of his beer and threw it on the ground. I watched the glass break on the ground and watch the man turn to me. I froze and stared into his glossy eyes.

He gave me a funny look, "A stupid kid?"

I took a step backwards as he tumbled over his feet towards me.

"Yo kid, get the hell out of here!" He yelled picking up a broken piece of glass from his beer bottle.

So much for hiding out here, I nodded quickly and started to run for it, again. I ran clear out of distance from that drunken man and the pub. I put my hands on my knees to try and catch my breath and thinking where to go next.

I kept thinking and thinking and then I realized, no where else to go except home. Oh how I didn't want to go home to my mother. It made me sick to my stomach going home to her. But where could I go? Really? There aren't much places to hide here, everything is out in the open.

I sighed and stood up straight. One thing is for sure, I'm not running home.

X-X-X-X-X

"Where the hell have you been?!"

Great, not even home for five minutes and she's already yelling at me.

"I was worried sick! You didn't even tell me you were leaving!"

I gave her a funny look, "Mom I told you this morning before I left I was going out."

That shut her up. My mom waited a long time to respond since she looks like a complete idiot right now. But hey, can't blame her, alcohol causes people to forget a lot of the time. "W-W-Well…urgh….well…I was half asleep!"

"More like hung over," I mumbled.

She glared at me, I knew she heard what I said but she didn't respond to my comment. She just 'hmmph'ed and walked away to the kitchen.

I sighed and rubbed my hand through my brown hair. Jeez, when did my mom get this stupid? She use to be smart until this started. Two weeks into this whole divorce thing and she's already a mess. But my mom was never really the strong, independent type of woman. She lacks the courage and judgment.

I gave one last sigh and turned and went the opposite direction of my mom and went straight to my room. That seemed the most confronting place for me right now.

I walked into my room and closed the door shut. I flopped my body onto my bed and sprawled out on it, getting comfy. I put my hand under my pillow and started searching for my Duel Monsters deck. I haven't dueled for a while and I'll guess I'll take a look at them.

I smiled when my hand touched my deck box and I pulled it out from under the pillow. I opened the top of the box and pulled out each one of the cards. I landed them neatly on my bed and started to look through them.

I know this sounds stupid but every time I feel down I just look at cards and I feel better. Sometimes I think I hear them, talking to me, comforting me. It's probably all in my head but sometimes I think they are really there watching me. I know it's childish but if you were me, you'd understand.

It seemed really quiet in my room so I grabbed the remote from my floor and turned on the TV. Now I'm relaxed.

Not really.

I still couldn't get Johan off my mind. I don't think any amount of Duel Monsters and TV will get him out. Maybe I should go and apologize to him. Ah! I don't even know where he lives! Think, how can I find out? The only one I know that has seen Johan's house is….oh no way. I can't call Ryo and Sho, not after today! But I couldn't just sit here and not apologize.

Fine, I'll call them later and ask, but right now I'm just so tired. Before I knew it my eyes were closed and I was asleep with my Duel Monsters cards spread everywhere.

X-X-X-X-X

I woke up to the feel of drool running down my cheek. I opened my eyes and looked around my room to focus my blurry vision. I slowly pushed myself up to sitting position on my bed. I wiped off the spit off my cheek and stretched my arms out. Scratching my head, I looked over at the clock.

"Jeez 7:00 already?" I said to myself.

I jumped up from my bed and headed towards the door. I walked out of my room and looked down the hallway to see if my mom was anywhere to be seen. I stood there for a few moments then I quietly slipped out of my room and headed towards the kitchen.

I glanced in the living room, my mom wasn't there. I knew she wasn't in her room because when I passed it the bed was made and the lights were out. I tip toed into the kitchen, wasn't there either. Then I looked out the window, she wasn't out there.

Where was she? Did she leave? I looked around the kitchen then spotted a note on the counter. I walked over and grabbed the piece of paper and started to skim it to see what it said.

_Judai,_

_Went to work, won't be back until midnight. Don't let anyone in the house, food is in the cabinet. _

_Mom_

She sue was straight forward in her letter. I just crumbled it up and threw it away. I never knew mom's job meant that she was working late even on the weekends. Come to think of it. She never did tell me what this so called job was. Judging from the hours I would think it would be a nursing job or something but I highly doubt mom went to go help the sick. She can barley stand being around me when I have the flu.

Oh well, I'll just ask her when she comes home. I mean I have the right to know where my mom is working at.

I got that out of my mind fast when I heard the phone ring. I thought it was my mom but I picked up the phone next to the kitchen table and looked at the caller ID. My heart sank slightly when I saw it was Sho's number.

Should I ignore it?

No, I needed to talk to him anyway.

I took a gulp and pressed the 'talk' button on the phone with my thumb finger trembling a little. I put the phone up to my ear.

"Hello?"

"Aniki!" Sho shouted, "What happened to you earlier today?! You just leave without telling anyone were you're going?!"

About the response I expected. I sighed, "Sho calm down."

"I will not calm down!" He shouted into the phone, "My brother is pissed off at you, Fubuki has to go to the doctors because we think you broke his nose, and Johan came to us after you left bawling his eyes out!"

I didn't say anything for a minute. When Sho put it that way I seemed like the biggest asshole in the world….and I was. Not as much for Fubuki and Ryo but Johan.

Sho kept on yelling through the phone so I held it farther away from my ear so it didn't bleed. "Judai this is getting bad! I mean everyone is mad at you now and to be honest I don't blame them!"

I actually stopped breathing for a second. Is Sho, my best friend since the first grade, siding with his brother and his brother's boyfriend? I can see Johan but _them_? Now I was mad and I wasn't about to just hold my feelings in. Sho needs a little 'Come to Jesus' talk.

I gave a small laugh, "Are you kidding? You're siding with your brother and Fubuki?"

"Well Aniki it's kind of hard to side with you when Fubuki's in the state he's in and my brother being as hatful as he's being. Judai I've never seen him this angry before in my life."

"You know what?" I asked, not giving Sho anytime to answer before I started talking again, "Ryo can be pissed all that he wants, I really don't care Sho, I really don't care! Fubuki got what he deserved, he shouldn't have been spreading my personal life to people, and acting like it wasn't a big deal and your brother knows this Sho!"

"Then why is he so mad at you then?!" Sho snapped.

"Because Fubuki is his boyfriend and if Fubuki doesn't get attention over the littlest things then he starts bitching to Ryo and he doesn't want to hear it!" I yelled.

Sho gasped, "You take that back! Fubuki is a good person and is one of your best friends! Have you ever just considered that my brother actually loves him?"

I almost laughed at the thought of Ryo being in love. To be honest, I always thought Ryo and Fubuki wouldn't make it because of them being complete opposites. "Sho I don't care anymore, the point is that Fubuki got what he deserved, not saying I'm happy about doing it but he stuck his noise in something that isn't his business and that's that."

Sho didn't say anything for a long time. I heard him sigh after five minutes of silence then started talking again, "Fine….I see how you feel and I understand."

No he doesn't.

"Okay," I said like not a care in the world.

"Well…I guess I'll hang up now…." Sho said in a depressed tone.

I was about to hang up to but then I remembered something. I pulled the phone back to my ear, "Wait!" I yelled.

"What?" Sho asked.

"Where doesn't Johan live?"

"Ummm…." Sho trailed off trying to think of were he had saw Johan's house yesterday. I heard him snap his fingers when he finally remembered, "You got down the street to the stop sign and there, to your right is this big long road. Go down there and then you turn left and his house should be on the corner."

I nodded, "Thanks." Then I hung up the phone. Yes I seemed a little on the mean side but hey, if he wants to be that way then fine his choice. He'll realize eventually that he's wrong.

I ignored Sho because he wasn't the one I was concern about. I took a little piece of sticky paper and ripped it off and started to write down the directions Sho had given me to Johan's house. After I was done writing it down I slipped on my jacket that was on the chair next to the kitchen table. I put the piece of paper in my pocket and started my way out the door.

I opened my front door and the cold air blew across my face. I pulled my jacket closer to my body to try and get warmer before I stepped out on my porch and closed the front door. I looked out into the sky, it was starting to get dark. I better hurry up before it gets entirely pitch black.

I spared no time in dashing off my porch, across my lawn, and onto the road. I put my hood up as the cool breeze blew in my face. I started to run as fast as I could so I could hurry up and get out of the cold.

I turned to see the street lights were starting to turn on and the sun was getting lower with every second. Crap! I needed to hurry up! At this moment I realized why I didn't join Track this year. I could never run fast enough or long enough to keep up with those kids.

I stopped to catch my breath when I got to the stop sign that Sho had mentioned. I took out the piece of paper and glanced down at it, I looked to my right to see a long road like he had explained and up ahead I saw an intersection were I should go left. I took one last breath, and then ran all the way down the street.

God, Sho wasn't kidding when he said this road was long. It took me five minutes just to get to where I had to stop and change directions. I had remembered Sho saying it was at the corner and I saw the house, it was actually really big. I was kind of taken back, it was probably the biggest house in the whole neighborhood. I didn't even think it was Johan's house until I saw a little sign at the end of their lawn that said "Andersen".

I stood in front of the house for what seemed like forever until I finally got the courage to walk to the front door. My heart was beating a mile of minute as I reached the door. I felt my hands getting sweaty and my throat was dry.

Would he shut the door in my face?

Will he let me in?

So many questions, not enough time, so I slowly reached my hand out and knocked on the door. I few moments past, which seemed like twenty minutes to me, I decided that maybe Johan wasn't home. I felt relieved beyond belief, I didn't know what I was thinking, I wasn't ready to talk to Johan and he certainly wasn't ready to talk to me. I just chuckled a little and turned around and was going to walk away.

But all my relief came tumbling down like a bunch of bricks when I heard the front door open. Now panic flooded my body once again, that didn't last long.

"Who are you?" I little voice called to me.

I turned around to face the owner of the voice, and my eyes met a little girl standing there at the door with a baseball cap on and a sucker hanging out of her mouth. Her long blue hair touched the small of her back and her eyes were emerald, just like Johan's. She looked like a totally tomboy, which I thought was cute for someone her age.

She snapped her fingers, "Hello? You dere?"

I shuck my head and smiled, "Sorry, I was wondering if Johan was home."

The girl looked at me up and down before taking out her sucker and calling back into the house, "Johan! Dere is somebody here to see ya!"

I sort of laughed at the little girl's voice. She still couldn't talk right, she was probably five at the most.

I felt her gazing at me again. She popped her sucker back in her mouth, "You my bro's new frand?"

I scratched my head looking to the side, "You could say that."

She nodded, "You better be a good frand cuz he came home today weally depressed, maybe ya can make him feel bettah."

"I know," I mumbled.

The little girl groaned, "Johan! Hurry up!"

"Okay, coming!"

I froze when I heard Johan's voice. God, why am I getting cold feet now? It's not like I can turn and run away now. I took a deep, yet silent, breath and prepared myself for Johan's reaction to me being here.

Johan came around the corner in basketball shorts and a black T-shirt. He walked towards the door without even looking at me and headed towards the little girl. Johan picked her up and held her at his side, "Jeez JoJo do you ever shut that mouth of yours?" He asked smiling a little.

The girl, who name I take it was JoJo, gave a smirk and shuck her head, "No I don't, and I neva eva will!"

Johan giggled a little, "Sorry if she was giving you-" he stopped when he glanced up to see me standing there in his front door. I glanced down at the ground because I was too afraid to look him in the eye.

Johan slowly put JoJo down, "Baby, go in the living and watch TV."

She was looking back and froth at me and Johan, this little girl isn't stupid I know that. She knew something was wrong but didn't say a word and ran off into the house.

It was silent between us until I heard Johan's voice.

"How did you know where I live?" I heard him ask.

"Sho told me," I said, still looking down at the ground.

"What are you doing here?" Johan asked, his voice becoming stern.

"To talk," I mumbled.

Johan leaned against the door and shrugged, "'Kay, talk."

I started to play nervously with my fingers, not really knowing what to say. Maybe I should have thought about this before I came. Just like me, I rush into things without thinking

I sighed and finally looked up at Johan, "Look I'm really sorry Johan, I mean really sorry."

Johan nodded down at the ground while crossing his arms. He started rubbing his tongue against his teeth making a noise to say he was thinking. Johan looked up at me with those beautiful blue eyes, "It's cool."

I was taken back slightly, "T-That's it?"

Johan sighed and stood up straight from leaning against the door, "What do you want me to say Judai? 'Oh yeah it's okay that you were acting like a dick and made me get all emotional on you.' Would it make you happier if I said that?"

I closed my eyes, not wanting to look in Johan's. No, it's not like I didn't want to, I wasn't worthy. "No, no…" I whispered.

Johan gave an unhappy smile, "You know Judai, I was going to tell you about my mother eventually, but today wasn't the way I pictured me telling you."

"I'm sorry…"

Johan gave me a funny look, "Ummm, I already told you it was okay didn't it? Why are you-"

"It's not okay!" I snapped.

Johan didn't flinch at all, neither did his expression. Those emerald eyes were still dull.

I clenched my fist and closed my eyes, "I was such a jerk today Johan, I can't even describe it! I was just really frustrated how Fubuki told you about my parents."

"Why didn't you want me to know?" He asked, "Why a secret?"

"Because…" I trialed off, I knew what to say, but I just couldn't.

Johan raised her eyebrow, "Because….?"

Dammit say something! I couldn't talk, my mouth was too dry and my voice felt like it just disappeared. I saw Johan starting to get impatient and tapping his foot, waiting for my response. I tried to talk, I did. I opened my mouth and tried but it never came out.

Johan looked at the clock on the wall then grabbed the door ready to shut it, "Well I got to order pizza since my dad is at work so-"

"I like you." I mumbled so low that Johan didn't even hear me.

"What, I didn't hear that." Johna said opening the door slightly.

I took a gulp, "I like you!" I shouted so I knew he could hear me this time because I didn't feel like repeating myself.

Johan froze stiff. He stood like that for a moment then shook his head, "What?"

I twisted my eyes shut, "I like you Johan! I've never had feelings for someone this much before in my life! Every time I come near you my heart beats really fast and my hands get clammy! I don't know why but…" I stopped looking up at Johan, my eyes softened and I gave a weak smile, "…I didn't want you to know about me because I thought you would look at me like some poor little kid who needed pity."

Johan's eye widened and his mouth dropped slightly, "Judai…."

I glanced down at my feet with that weak, innocent smile on my face, "I don't know if that makes much sense, but I know you know what I'm talking about because we're the same in the aspect, right?"

There was silence for a long, long time. I felt good getting that off my chest, really good. If Johan didn't forgive me, I'd be sad but I'd be happy knowing I had the guts to come here and say this to him.

I rubbed my head and put on my goofy grin, "Well I guess you should be getting to your sister so I'll just- _mmph!_

I was cut off by Johan's tender lips on my own. My eyes widened until they were as wide as saucers. Feeling Johan's lips on mine sent chills down my spine and through my body. I don't care if I didn't know what the hell was going on I wrapped my arms around that boys neck and deepened that kiss.

I licked his lips asking for entrance into his mouth, and he happily obliged. My tongue roamed all over his mouth, feeling all around, until he started to fight me for dominance. I put up a hell of a fight but in the end I lost, but I didn't care, I let him win.

We separated from the passionate kiss, trying to catch our breaths. I smiled at him, I felt tears brimming at the sides of my eyes, "I never would have thought coming over here would lead to this."

Johan responded by pulling me into a tight embrace. I felt warm on the inside when he was holding me. I felt….happy. Something I haven't felt in a long time. It was comforting. I wrapped my arms around Johan and rubbed my hands on his back.

Johan let out a little chuckle, "I guess it was me in the end who really didn't know, huh?"

I shuck my head, "No, we both don't know shit."

He laughed, "You said it."

"Awww!" JoJo cooed staring at us both with a smile, "Johan's got a boyfrand!"

Johan let go of his embrace on me and stuck his tongue out at her, "Nahh! Little girl go watch cartoons!"

The little girl folded her arms and glared at her brother, "I ain't a kid no more and I don't watch Cartoon no more neither! I watch Anime!" (kinda weird she watches anime when she's in a story about one xDD)

"Better not be those gory ones with cussing and sex in it!" Johan shouted as JoJo ran back into the giant living room.

I smiled, "You're a good brother."

The blunette sighed, "I do what I can to get that little girl out of trouble." Johan turned to me with a little smirk appearing on his lips.

I stepped back, "What?"

Johan leaned against the door again, "She maybe trouble but she's no idiot."

"I know that," I said, "so what you are implying?"

"I'm saying do you wanna be my boyfriend? Like she says?" He asked.

I folded my arms and looked away, "Pft! No! You were so rude to me when I came here."

Johan looked hurt, "What? Why?"

I looked at him with one eye open and smiled, "Your sister might not be an idiot but you're one. Of course I will." I closed my eyes and gave Johan a chaste kiss on the lips.

Johan touched his lips and look a little disappointed, "Oh not a hot one like before?"

I started walking down Johan's porch steps, "You'll have to wait, I have to get home."

"Fine!" He shouted, "Come over tomorrow okay?"

I nodded, "I will!" I called back running down the street back to my house. I waved to Johan as I went around the corner before I disappeared behind the bushes.

I was so happy I could just skip all the way home. I'm so happy that I went to Johan's house and got that over with and now look what happened, we're going out. I just wanted to scream for joy I was so excited.

I remembered when I first saw Johan, that day when I saw him enroll and I dropped my stuff. Who would of thought a few days later I'd be dating him? Isn't it weird to think about that kind of stuff and how you can't even believe it's true? I can hardly believe it myself.

I don't care how and I don't know either. What ever twist of fates were going on, I just know that things are looking up for me, and it's about damn time too!

I was snapped out of my happy thoughts when I saw a car in my driveway as I approached my house. I squinted my eyes trying to figure out who's car is was. It came up clearer as I came closer to my house. I finally ran until I was only a few feet away from my driveway. I looked at the car and then I realized who's it was.

My eyes widened and my body felt cold. I held myself as I started shaking. _That _memory started to race through my mind again.

_Please don't go!_

I gasped when I heard the car door open and a man with dark brown hair stepped out. He adjusted his glasses and looked over at me, "Judai…"

"D-Dad," I squeaked out.

He ran up to me and wrapped me in a big hug. I didn't hug him back though. I just kept on shaking like a leaf.

My dad let go of me and put his hands on my shoulders, " Judai you're-"

"Why are you here?!" I snapped, "You aren't supposed to be here! T-This is mom's house! She said you're not allowed here! You're not allowed! YOU'RE NOT!" I was freaking out, and I didn't know why.

My dad was shaking me lightly, "Judai, calm down."

I shuck my head fiercely, "No, no, no, no! You're not allowed here! Get out of here!"

My dad looked at me with concern yet fearful eyes, "Judai let's get you inside." He put his hand on my back trying to guide me to the house but I pulled away.

"No! Get out of here! Now! I'll call mom and tell her you're here! She's call the police, she will!"

My dad grabbed my wrist, "You're coming with me, this is not a good environment for you."

I struggled against me dad, "No! No! Let me go! Let me go now!"

He refused to let me out of his grip, he was hell-bent on getting me out of here, but I'm not going to let him. I may not be happy with my mom but I'm not leaving Johan and I don't even know where my dad is staying right now.

My dad tried to force me in the passenger seat but I kicked him in the shin while struggling. He winced and let go of me and I ran a good distance away from him. I don't care if this was my dad he's not taking me away!

I could see him starting to get angry, he looked up at me with those brown eyes, "Judai dammit get in the car now!"

I shuck me head, "No! You leave me while I'm frozen stiff from you leaving without explaining things to me! You expect me to just go with you to God knows where you live?! I won't do it!"

"Judai you're being stubborn."

"No you're just being stupid!" I snapped, "Now get off mom's property before I call the cops! Don't think I won't just because you're my dad!"

My dad stared at me in shock at what I was saying to him, and I was dead serious too. He could tell when tears started to run down my face.

He stepped towards me and I jumped back, "GO AWAY!!" I covered my head, "I DON'T WANT YOU HERE!!"

My dad stared at me, speechless. Then he sighed and turned around and headed for his car. I glanced up and I was surprised to see he had started the car. I could see him mumbled to himself in the review mirror. I saw him quickly put the car in reverse and floor the car backwards.

It felt like everything stopped for a moment and everything went silent. I didn't have time to react so I just stood there my eyes wide and tears dripping down, the car coming for me.

A few seconds past when I realized the car was right in front of my face, inches away from hitting me. Just like last time….

I started shaking so bad it thought like I was having spasms. I put my hands to my head and let out a loud and painful scream. I screamed and screamed for a long time. Then the screams turned to sobs as I sat down in the driveway, shaking.

My dad then reversed the car around me so he dodged it from hitting me. I pulled down the window and glared at me, "If you won't come with me, I have other ways of persuading you."

That's all he said this time, before repeating his actions once again and backed out of the driveway. But he did say one finally thing to me before he sped off, he said:

"I'll make sure your mother never sees you again."

Those words pierced my body like a dagger as I watched him speed down the road. I sat there in the cold, happy has can be one moment, completely broken down the other.

Is it me, or is this starting to become a pattern?

X-X-X-X-X

Kikuchan: oh my fingers are so tired from writing all this!

Judai: wtf? I'm there in my driveway crying and shaking and all you can do is say how tired your fingers are?

Kikuchan: listen if my fingers r tired I can't type, if my fingers don't get rest then they don't make chapters! You want to ruin it for everyone?

Judai: No…..

Kikcuahn: Then shaddup rabbit! Please please please PLEASE review! You know you want toooooo! Come on!! Ur so close to clicking the 'sumbit review button' come on, some on!


	10. Secrets Exposed

**What's Poppin shawties?? Well I first need to thank all those who reviewed I deeply apprciate it, keep leaving the reviews because you're inspiring me! thats right! think proud of yourselves peeps! Well I didn't update as quickly as I thought, I kept going to peeps houses and I totally forgot becuase as you all know ITS ALMOST SUMMERTIME! YES!! I hope you all have a wonderful summer and I'm skipping the last day of school cuz it's on a Monday so I get on early summer! :D (i've been practicing my mom's voice) Well all that aside, here is the next chaptie, fo shizzel!**

**Enjoy!!**

X-X-X-X-X

Today was such an ugly day. The sky was gray with clouds, there was faint rolls of thunder in the distance, and little rain droplets started to hit against my window. I was just laying there in my bed listening to it. I was thinking, thinking about last night, about my dad.

I didn't tell Mom last night when she got home from work about Dad being here. She came home drunk again last night so why even bother telling her in the first place when she's just going to forget about it in the morning? But drunk or not I'm still not going to tell her, who knows how she will react.

Then what he said to me before he left. How he won't let me see mom again. That made my body go numb every time that crossed my mind. How could my dad say such a thing to me? What kind of man would take a child away from their own mother? I know my mom hasn't been herself these past few weeks but I don't want to never see her again. For God sakes she is my _mother!_

Oh how I wanted this all to just go away, just stop this now. But I know damn well that this is going to carry on for a long time. I had to be prepared for it because I know that this thing hasn't even gotten started yet.

I decided to get up out of bed and quit thinking about those thoughts today, just for once. I'm going to Johan's today and having a good time dammit! It will be good for me to get all this stress off my shoulders.

I stretched out my body and looked over at the clock. It was noon? I guess I slept more than I thought. But I did have a hard time getting to sleep last night so it was okay.

I rubbed my head, yawning and walked out of my room. I passed my mom's room and she wasn't even there. I knew right away that she was at work, she had told me last night she had to go in this morning and wouldn't be back until the evening.

It seemed like Mom was never home. She was always at work at crazy hours and it was really starting to annoy me. I mean I know I'm in High School but you know I like to see my mom every once in a while.

Ah! Quit thinking about that stuff! You told yourself you wouldn't!

I just need to get out of here. So I walked to the living room and grabbed my jacket off the couch and ran back into my room to find some pants. I opened each one of my drawers and found some jeans and slipped those on while trying to run at the same time. I gave my pants one last tug and I buttoned them up and walked down the steps to the front door. Lastly, I put on my shoes and I was out of there.

X-X-X-X-X

Thankfully I remembered the directions Sho had given me yesterday how to get to Johan's house, because it started to pour not only five minutes after I got outside. By the time I got on Johan's porch I was soaked, head to toe with rain.

Shivering I knocked on the door, praying that someone was home because I am not going back out in that rain!

I waited until the door finally opened. I saw a little figure standing at the door, it was JoJo obviously. She still had those boyish looking clothes on which I still think is cute.

She gave me a big smile and pulled her hat to the side, "Yo it's big brwother's new best frand!"

I laughed, "You know I have a name right?"

She shrugged, "Well people here have weird names and I can't remember dem!"

I snatched JoJo's hat and put it on my own head, "Yeah well I think your name is weird."

"Hayyy!" JoJo whined, "That's my hat!" She tried to jump up and try to get her baseball hat back but I was way too tall for her. She finally gave up and sat down on the porch, "Pwease can I have my hat back?"

I waved it in front of her face, "Say my name and I'll give it to you."

She sighed, I knew she was trying to think of how to say it right, "Otay...umm...Judei?"

I slapped my forehead, come on my name isn't that hard. It's probably one of the easiest Japanese name out there! But hey she was little and couldn't talk right as it is so I just handed her back her hat, "Close enough."

She grinned and put back on her hat, "Imma go tell Johan you're here!" JoJo got up from the porch and ran inside her house to go find her brother. I just stood there, my arms crossed trying to get myself warm from the rain.

Johan came walking around the corner, his hair all sticking out (as if it wasn't everyday) and still in his pajama bottoms and white T-shirt. He yawn and waved at me, "Mornin'"

"It's noon," I said.

He nodded, "I know, but it's morning for me." Johan looked at my soaked, shivering body. He took my hand and gave a small chuckle, "You know you can come in right?"

I looked away, irritated, "I know."

I took my first step into Johan's house and a breeze of lilacs blew against my face. I guess I expected that from someone who has this nice of a home. I scanned the place up and down, there was a fancy dining room to my left as soon as I walked in the door and in front of me you could partly see, what I couldn't believe, was the living room. Dear God the ceiling was like twenty feet high.

I walked past Johan, amazed that he actually lived here. I looked up at awe when I got into the living room where the upstairs opened up into a balcony, that's right, a _balcony!_ Oh wait, I'm not done, there kitchen has a mini fireplace right by the counter, who has that?! Everything in that kitchen was stainless steal!

I slowly glanced back at Johan, "How rich are you?!"

Johan put his hands in his PJ pockets and walked towards me, "My dad is a surgeon, what can I say?"

I laughed, "Jeez my dad is an engineer and I don't even know what my mom does. I can't even compare to you."

"Eh, well I don't really brag it to people," the blunette said, "I don't want people just to like me for my stuff now do I?" Johan gave me a wink and started to walk into the kitchen with me following.

I saw a familiar woman standing at the kitchen counter washing dishes. She had long dark hair and dark eyes, I remembered her from when Johan was enrolling in school. She stopped with the dishes and looked up at me, she was a beautiful girl. She looked young enough to be Johan's sister.

Johan pointed his finger at the woman, "Judai, this is my stepmother Emmy." Then he pointed his finger at me, "Emmy, this is Judai."

Emmy smiled at me, her hands all wet from the dish water, "Hello, so you're the one Johan here has been talking about."

"I guess so," I said, smiling. I put out my hand, "I'm Yuki Judai."

Emmy dried off her hands on a towel that was hanging from his pants pocket. She took my hand and shoke it, "As you know, my name is Emmy, please make yourself at home."

Johan started to clap his hands, "Great now we're all a family." He walked over quickly and grabbed my hand, "Okay Judai me give you a tour of the house."

I didn't have time to respond before he dragged me out of the kitchen. I stumbled over my feet but kept my balance. Why was Johan in such a hurry, it was like if he stayed in the kitchen any longer he was going to have a heart attack. Well, maybe he's just excited to have me over, so I didn't make a big deal about it.

Johan kept tugging on my arm to get me to hurry up. I thought he was going to nearly pull it off when we went up the long staircase to the upstairs of this mini mansion. He still continued to pull me, even when we got to the top of the stairs. He pulled me to the right and pulled me into a room.

I tumbled in the room, landing on a soft bed. I heard Johan close the door and he put his back against it taking a deep breath, as if he had just gotten away from some monster chasing him.

He let out a sigh, "Okay we're good."

"Good from what?" I asked.

Johan got up from the door and started to walk over to the bed, "Oh nothing, just glad that we're by ourselves."

I nodded, "Oh okay."

Johan stared into my eyes a few minutes, as if trying to see into my mind or something. Then finally he put on a big grin and jumped on the bed, sprawling out on it. I realized that I didn't jump up as normal beds would do if someone jumped on them. I felt the fabric and I started to laughing in disbelief.

"You have a temperpidic?"

"Yes! Ain't it comfy?"

I pressed my hand down on the mattress, like it shows in the comercials, your hands sink right into it. "Man, you're so lucky!" I whined.

"Not really," Johan said.

I glanced up at the blunette, "What do you mean by-"

Johan's cell phone ring interrupted my sentence. He grabbed his phone off the nightstand next to his bed. He looked down at the caller ID and held up one finger to tell me to hold on, so I did. He flipped open his phone and put it do his ear, "Yo Dad what's the haps?"

I sat there silently like I was suppose to, listening to Johan talk.

"Yeah...Judai's over...you know the one I've been talking about...no he's not a drug addict! Jeez Dad! ...Judai is not a hippie name!"

Oh so now my name is a hippie name! Why do people have to be so stupid?

"He's not a drug addict Dad he's cool. So what did you call here for?"

There was along pause, like his Dad was going on a monalog. Then I saw Johan's face drop, he hung his head slightly and it seemed like his emerald eyes lost it's glow. I started to worry about what his dad had said to him.

Johan sighed solomly, "Again? ...But you just transfered there and they're already- ...okay...I guess I'll see ya in the morning...alright...bye."

Johan hung up the phone and set it gently on the bed. I looked at him nervously, I was afraid that something bad had happened. "Is...everything okay?" I asked, hesitantly not knowing if I should even bring it up.

Johan shrugged, "Same old same old."

"But you seem so sad," I said, "did something happen?"

"Not really."

"Not really?" I repeated, what kind of answer was that? I leaned closer to him, "Johan if something's wrong you can tell me."

"Nothing is wrong."

"Don't lie!" I snapped.

"I'm not," Johan said calmly.

"But there is. Johan don't lie, you can tell-"

"I said I'm not lieing!!" He yelled at me.

I quickly backed off. I guess, something is wrong, really wrong. Again, Johan is always cheerful, if something is bothering him so bad to make him snap, or get angry, then it's bad.

Johan grumbled and messed with his blue locks of hair. We stayed silent for a few moments until Johan finally spoke up, "I'm sorry I yelled." He said, "I'm telling you to start talking to me and not hide your feelings when I'm doing the same thing."

I put my hand on Johan's and gave a weak smile, "It's fine."

Johan hung his head lower than it already was, "I guess we both have crazy lives to deal with."

I tightened my grip on Johan's hand, "You know you can talk to me about it."

Johan was hesitant at first but then gave in and started to talk, "Since my dad is a surgon he works around the clock: mornings, afternoons, evenings, middle of the night, and sometimes all day long. I just don't get to see him much and it just frustrates me."

"I can relate."

Johan shot his eyes up from the bed to me, "You can?" he asked in disbelief.

I nodded, "Yeah, my mom's job has her working all night long and she comes home at late hours. Since she gets home so late, she sleeps the day away and then when she gets up she has to leave again."

Johan's eyes widened and he pointed at himself, "That's how my dad is!" He yelled, "He's always sleeping and then he's all cranky in the morning."

I laughed, "So true."

Johan and I stared at each other in silence for what seemed like an eternity. I guess we were both in shock of how much we could relate to each other. It was a good feeling, I thought there was nobody I could talk to about my problems and them understanding them, but Johan could.

We both started laughing hysterically and we didn't know why exactly but we did.

I started wiping the tears coming from my eyes from laughing so hard, Johan just rolled off the bed which made us laugh more.

Johan put up his hand, "Oh God stop, it hurts!"

I covered my mouth, trying to drown out the laughs. Finally after several moments we took some deep breathes and we were back to normal.

I gave a chuckle, "How good does it feel to know we can relate to each other?"

Johan fell back on the floor, "Awesome."

I laid down on the bed side, resting my head on my head. I looked down at Johan just smiling away.

"Wanna play a game?" the bluenette asked.

"What kind of game?"

Johan sat up from the floor, "We can take turns being a counselor and we can talk about our problems and we can perscribe treatments for each other. I use to play it with my friends back in Europe all the time."

I thought about it for a minute and it wasn't that bad of an idea. It was sounded like fun in an odd sort of way. "Sure I'll play, but I get to be the counselor first."

Johan pouted, "You're just lucky you're the guest."

Johan climbed back onto his extremely comfortable bed and laid down on it. His whole body sunk down from the mattress and he rested his head on two pillows so he could look up at me when we were doing our "session"

"I'm ready for my therpy Dr. Yuki."

I laughed, "That sounds so weird."

Johan nudged me, "Play along you'll blow our cover!"

"Sorry," I whispered. I sat down Indian-style on the bed and folded my hands together, trying to look remotely close to a counselor. "Okay patient how was your week?"

Johan made a dramatic sigh, "Oh I meet this really hot guy at school this week."

I smirked, "Really? What does this guy look like?"

Johan shrugged, "I don't know, brown bushy hair, brown eyes to match, his face is just so adorable, and his ass is really nice."

"Oh my," I said, "this guy must be pretty sexy."

"Oh yeah I'd like to rotate his tires."

I couldn't help it, I burst out laughing, "What the hell?"

Johan laughed and threw a pillow at me, "Come on, stop."

"Okay okay," I said grabbing the pillow and tucking it under my arms. "Any other interesting things happen this week Mr. Andersen?"

"Yeah," the bluenette mumbled, "I yelled at the guy I liked."

I knew what he was talking about, I was kind of surprised that he even brought it up since it nearly ruined our relationship with each other. "Oh, what happened?" I asked, knowing full well what did happen but I wanted to hear Johan's point of view on this.

"Well, his parents are getting a divorce and I told him that he could talk to me about it but instead he flipped out and beat up his friend for even telling me." Johan explained.

"This guy sounds like an idiot." I said.

Johan shuck his head, "No, he had the right. I would of felt the same way."

"Well what happened next?"

Johan continued with the story that I already knew, "I tried to comfort him but he was just in blind rage that he ran out of the store we were in. I ran after him and tried to talk to him but he said I didn't know anything. Then I told him about my mom and how I do understand."

I didn't know if I should ask the question that just came to my head but I was really curious about it. I gulped, "What happened to your mom Johan? How did she die?"

I saw Johan tense his body. I knew this was a touchy subject but we were telling each other about our lives here and he needs to tell someone. He bit his lip, hesitant on saying even a word. I closed my eyes and bent down to kiss Johan gently on his soft lips. I stared deep into his eyes, "You can tell me," I whispered.

Johan's eyes started to get watery but he didn't dare spill a tear. He sat up from his position on the bed and curled his knees up to his chest. He took a deep breath and told me the story.

"My mom, was a kind woman. I loved her so much and she was always so caring and gentle with me and my sister. She was a housewife, loved her husband and kids, cleaned the house, got us ready to go to bed. She was that picture perfect mom to me and I couldn't ask for a better one." Johan smiled when he described how wonderful his mom was.

I couldn't help but feel pain, that was how my mom was, until this whole mess started. I missed that, oh how I missed it so much.

Johan started to play with his fingers while speaking, "We lived in Europe at the time and we lived in a bad part of town. My dad wasn't a big time surgeon back then and we didn't have much money, so we lived in this small house near a busy road. I always would play soccer with a can with some of my neighbors. We played on the sidewalk everyday since we were all too poor to afford real soccer balls." Johan let out a hurt laugh, "Boy did we have fun with that can." Johan looked of at me with those lifeless eyes, "Would you have guessed that can was the reason for my mom's death?"

My body was stiff in shock, just the way he said it made chills go up my spine.

Johan changed his glance from me back to the bed, "I will never forget that day, December 15th. I normal day, a cold day, a day so cold you could see your breath in the air and your face feels like an ice cube. I was playing with that can again with my friends, I had learned to kick that thing so high and then kick it again right into the wall. I was so proud I wanted to show my mom." Johan was silent but then started his story again, "I'll never forget how she looked that day, blue hair blowing in the winter breeze, her new fur coat that my dad had bought her as an early Christmas present. She stood out on the stoop in front of our house watching me do my new trick. I had it perfectly until I kicked it at the wrong angle and it went flying into the street."

I already knew what was coming next, so I braced myself.

"Being the stupid person that I am, I ran into the street to go get it without looking for cars. I had gotten to the can and picked it up. I looked up just a little to see a car coming my way. I tried to move out of the way but I was frozen stiff. Over the horn of the car I heard my mom cry my name and after that, everything went blank. I felt my body getting pushed out of the way by a force and I flew on the sidewalk out of the cars way. Then...I saw it." Johan buried his face in his hands and sobbed quietly.

I quickly wrapped my arms around Johan and held him close to me, not even thinking of letting go. He buried his face in my chest and I felt his tears starting to drip on my shirt. That only made me hold him tighter.

"I saw it Judai," Johan sobbed, "The car hit her and I saw it. She died right at impact." I felt him grab my shirt and cry so hard he couldn't breathe.

I rubbed his turqoiuse hair and kissed his head, "It's okay Johan, it's okay."

Johan shuck his head fiercely, "No it's not okay! It's my fault! It's all my fault!"

Seeing Johan this way almost made me cry, I felt the tears forming on the sides of my eyes as I whispered, "It's not your fault."

"Her body Judai...it wasn't...it was..."

I felt Johan quickly get out of the embrace, his eyes wide and his hand against his mouth. I knew what was coming up and I took Johan's head and directed it to a trash can where he vomited.

I was scared. Scared for Johan. Scared to even think of what he saw.

When Johan was done he was breathing heavily. His hands shaking at the sides of the trash can. "Oh God..." He kept saying.

I gently help Johan out of the trash can. I finally got a good look at him, he was a wreck. This obviously happened recently for him to still be this distrote about it.

I hoised Johan onto the bed and I laid him down delicately. As soon as he was laying down he curling into a ball and contiuned to let out little chokes and sobs. He needed comfort so I laid next to him, wrapping my one arm around his waist while pulling up the sheets with the other. I rubbed his back soothingly and kept telling him it was going to be okay.

Johan's eyes started to get heavy and within a few minutes he drifted to sleep.

Once I knew he was dead asleep I slowly got up from the bed. I stood up and turned back to Johan, tears still stained his face and his arms clutched the pillow. Even in his sleep, he wasn't at peace.

I kissed Johan's forehead lightly, trying not to wake him and pulled the covers up on him a little more. I looked at him one last time and then I headed towards the door. I slowly opened it and closed it, trying not to make a noise. Once I was out in the hallway and tiptoed away from Johan's room.

I went down the stairs and went into the living room where JoJo sat watching the News. What kid watches the News? I walked over to the couch and leaned over the arm of it, "What's going on in that world?"

JoJo didn't even flinch from my sudden comment. She just shrugged, "Dunno, dat Nancy Grace gurl is sayin' sometin bout kids bein' sexually abwused. Whatevah dat means."

"Okay," I said, grabbing the remote next to her, "No Nancy Grace for little girls." I pressed a button and it changed to a different channel, "There," I threw the remote on JoJo's lap, "Watch Sesame Street."

JoJo's mouth dropped, "What?! Sesame Street is for babies!"

"What do you think you are?" I asked.

JoJo folded her arms, "I'm grown up! I wanna watch what I wanna watch!"

"Now JoJo don't give him a hard time," Emmy said, walking out of the kitchen. She looked around the room as if she was looking for something, "Where's Johan?"

"He's sleeping!" I said a little too fast a little too loud.

"Oh and I just made lunch," Emmy smiled, "That's okay I'll just wait for him to get up."

I swear that Emmy girl is the nicest person I have ever met. Johan's lucky to have someone like her as a stepmom. At least she's not a complete bitch like what I've heard from other people at my school. You know how stepparents get a bad wrap now in days.

Emmy walked back into the kitchen, and I decided to follow her because I refuse to watch Sesame Street with JoJo. I glanced at the kitchen again, how amazing it is. I can't even believe that Johan use to be poor.

"You hungry sweetheart?" Emmy asked.

I shuck my head, "No but thanks anyway."

"Well it's here if you ever get hungry." She said.

I took a chair at the kitchen table and sat in it. I put my head in my arms, for some reason I had a head ache. I heard the sink start running, Emmy was probably cleaning the dishes. I seemed like sounds were so far away now, everything seemed far away.

"So Judai, where do you live?"

I quickly looked up at Emmy who was just carrying on with her dishes.

"Um...just down the street," I said hoarsely.

The black haired woman started to wash a plate when she smiled that smile again, "I'm just so happy Johan has found a friend like you. He's been having a tough time the past year and a half." She knew she had just spilled too much information and went silent.

"Don't worry Johan already told me," I said.

Emmy looked at me with a shocked expression, "He did? When?"

"He told me yesterday." I said.

"I can't believe he told you, you must of made a heck of a connection to Johan," Emmy said, shock still written all over her face. She back at the sink, "If I didn't know better I'd say you were..." Emmy trailed off.

"That I was his boyfriend?" I said finishing her sentence.

She went silent. She stared at the dish in her hand not saying a word. The only think breaking the silence was the running water of the sink.

"I am Johan's boyfriend."

Emmy flinched a little, like it grossed...her...out...that's it. Even the nicest of people have their flaws, hers is she has a problem with gay people. Homophobic all the way.

"You have a problem with your stepson being gay, don't you?" I asked.

She quickly turned to me hiding behind her smile, "Why would you say that? I have no problem with-"

"No offense Mrs. Andersen but you know you're lying."

Emmy sighed and turned off the fosset. She dried her hands on the towel and walked over to the table. I watched her sit down in the seat next to me. Emmy took a few breaths the started to talk, "You're right, I don't think that homosexuality is right or natural."

I opened my mouth to say something but she quickly put up a finger to halt me.

"_But _Johan is like a biological son to me, and I will love him no matter if he is gay or straight. I want you to know that Judai. Even though I don't like it, Johan obviously loves you a lot and as long as he is happy with you, I'm happy."

I nearly got teared up at her speech. She really was a nice person, a great person. Johan really is lucky, very lucky.

I felt Emmy grab my hand and she looked me straight in the eye, "Judai, do you know that Johan has not told a soul about what happened to his mom?"

My eyes widened, "Are you serious?"

She nodded, "Judai, the fact that, that boy upstair told you the whole story means that he cares about you a lot and he trusts you. Please don't take what he said as an everyday thing that he is free willing to talk about, it's a big deal."

"Yes ma'am!"

"Thank you, you don't know how much it means to me to know that he has someone like you."

X-X-X-X-X

It had been about two hours since Johan had his little melt down. It was nearly three o' clock and he still hadn't waken up from his slumber. He just was laying there, he seemed to look more peaceful now than before though. He was breathing easily and snuggling onto his pillow.

I smiled at how beautiful he looked. I went to go brush a piece of hair out of his face but he gave a small moan and tossed to the other side, "Mom..." he mumbled in his sleep.

I frowned, I wish I could take his pain away. I wish instead of dreaming about his mother's death he would dream about me and being happy. I wish, I only wish I could help him. But I knew that he had severe mental trama that needs to come to the attention of a real doctor, not me. All I can do is hug him and comfort him, I can't seriously give him professional advice. But I hope that telling me helped him, even if it was just a little.

I leaned over to see Johan's sleeping face, "You know, I never told you my problems." I whispered. I rested my head on Johan's side, "So I'll tell you, even though you can't hear me."

"My parents got a divorce about three weeks ago. I came home from school and they sat me down and told me. At first I couldn't believe it, I thought it was my fault because they would always argue about me, they both having different ways of discipline, money wise, what I got to do, you name it. But mostly it was about my dad not being around. Just like you with your mom, I thought it was my fault. So I locked myself in my room and cried." I paused, listening if Johan was awake or not, when I realized he wasn't I went on, "Then two weeks later..."

I smiled and looked down at the bluenette boy.

"...I met you. You didn't know but the day you finally showed up in my homeroom I was really pissed. The day before my mom and dad got in a huge argument and my dad packed up his things and started to leave. Before he could leave I jumped behind the car screaming for him to stay. He came really close to hitting me with the car, thanks to my mom, he stopped in time."

I didn't realize this but the more I told my story, the more it sounded like Johan's story too.

"He left me and my mom that day and the next day you came to my school. I thought it was cool how we became instant friends, and now, only a few days later, we're here telling our life stories. And even though I was so happy that I met you, when I came home it just turned into chaos again. My mom was starting to drink herself into oblivion, she got a job God knows where, came home with some whack job who I had to yell at him to get out, then the next day that's when we got in a fight." I laughed, "And to make things so much better, after I came to apologize to you, my dad was at my house trying to get me to come with him. He tried to really run my over with the car this time and he said he won't let me see my mom again. Screwed up right?"

Of course he didn't respond.

I sighed, "It's just so frustrating and I know that there is more to come but this is just too much."

"I bet it is frustrating."

I gasped and looked over to see Johan looking down at me. I hadn't even realized he moved. "You heard all that?"

He nodded, "All of it, your situation is pretty screwed up."

"Tell me about it," I said.

"My mom had a saying, it was 'God gives us trials everyday, only special people can learn from them.'" Johan glanced down at me again, "Judai, I think we are some of those special people and we need to start learning from the challenges that God has put in front of us."

"I think you are absolutely right."

Johan stretched his arms out and laid back down on the bed, "Of course, I'm always right."

"Shut up," I sneered, laying down next to Johan. I rested my head on his chest, I could hear his heart beat from my ear being on his chest. The beats started to get faster every minute. I looked up at Johan, "Your heart is beating fast."

"'Cause I'm with you."

I closed my eyes, smiling. I rubbed Johan's stomach while listening to his heart beat. Never in my life had I felt more relaxed.

_Ding Dong!_

Almost relaxed.

I shifted trying to get up but Johan held me down, "Stay with me, Emmy will get it."

I did what he said and stayed, I wanted to. I never wanted to leave Johan's side. It's the only place were I feel safe.

"Judai!" Emmy called from downstairs.

I jumped of from Johan, "Yes?" I called back.

"You're mother is here!"

"What?" I whispered to myself. I quickly jumped off of Johan's bed, Johan following. I burst out of the bedroom door and ran down the hallway. I didn't even take the time to use the stairs, I slid down the stained wooden railing. When I got to the bottom I jumped off, staggering on my feet. I looked at the front door and there stood my mother and...

"Giese?!" I screamed out loud.

The old man waved to me, "Yo champ."

I walked up to my mom and glared at her, but making sure Emmy didn't see, "How did you find your way here?" I whispered harshly.

"I talked to your buddy Sho, he said you'd probably be here since you gave me a heart attack because you weren't home and didn't have the damn responsibility to leave a note." She whispered back.

"You said you wouldn't be home until later though."

She ignored me and smiled sweetly at Emmy, "Thank you so much for taking care of him, I hope he wasn't too much trouble."

"Oh no trouble at all," Emmy said.

"Well if you'll excuse us we're taking Judai to a restaurant to eat." My mother said cheerfully, "Judai what do you say?"

What am I? A five year old? I know what to say! I bowed, "Thank you very much for having me over."

"Thank you again," My mom turned to Johan, "Sorry we have to take him so suddenly."

"It's no problem ma'am." Johan said politely, but I could tell he didn't want to be polite to her after I told him about how she's an alcoholic and is out all hours of the night.

When I started to walk out the front door to leave with my mom and 'that man' I gave Johan a worried look. I knew he didn't know what to do for me so he just stood there, wishing he could help me in any way, shape, or form.

My mom closed the front door to the house and her attitude completely changed, like the house has some sort of spell to make all people nice and as soon as they got out they were bitchy.

"Get in the car." She ordered.

And I bluntly said, "No."

"Get in the car!!" She snapped.

I groaned and walked towards the car parked in the driveway. I opened the door and stepped inside, sitting on the leather seats. I watched my mom and the old man get in the car too.

I glared at Giese, "What the hell are you here?"

My mom snapped her body around and pointed at me, "Listen here bigshot! You will not talk to an adult that way! Unless you want your mouth slapped!"

I rubbed my mouth, remembering last time when she hit me.

"Now dammit we are going to lunch to make t could an announcement to you and you better be good!"

Announcement? What those tow have to announce to me?

X-X-X-X-X

At the restaurant everything when completely silent when they heard my voice echo through it.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU'RE GETTING ENGAGED?!"

X-X-X-X-X

Kikuchan: ha ha! didn't expect THAT did ya?

Judai: OMG my mother is a whore! She just got divorced and now she's remarrying??

Kikuchan: You think that's bad? just wait until next chapter, you'll think she's more than a whore.

PLEASE REVIEW!! you know u want to don't deny your desires!


	11. Beatings

**duddddeeessss!! I totally like updates a hundred times faster than I was going to! I was even pissed at my own cliffhanger because I was dieng to write the next chapter. And I know you guys are dying on reading it!**

**oh FYI I got inspired from watching 'Bastard out of Carolina' if any of you have seen this movie on lifetime or on DVD some of the lines or scenes may be a little familiar because I just love that movie and i thought some of the scenes in that movie would go good with this story and what I have planned. Just to get that out there. **

**well as a first I'm going to reply to your comments because I love you all and I want to express my reactions to your reviews! :D**

**KyoxSakiFan- I will admit, I do give a lot of suspense. but I'm not going to say 'queen' ...oh hell yeah i'm the queen of suspense!! LOL jk i'm sure there is a ton more people out there more suspenseful than me. thank for your review!**

**animehime20- thanks for your review! I'm glad you like my story!**

**Saiyuki729- thanks for the review! omg you can relate too? I have so many people relating to this story including myself. it weird! LOL I'm really happy you like my story!**

**KeybladeAngel34- LOL I updated! I updated! calm down! LOL I know you didn't like the ending I didn't either, the pain and touture you must of gone through T-T Kikuchan knows, kikuchan knows!**

**avalokannon- holy woa! you're really REALLY good at giving advice. don't think I don't listen to it because I really do! I took your advice on adding more periods, at least i tried LOL I also tried using more interesting descriptions, check my spelling tis time (tried) and other things i just can't remember :D so keep on helping me improve and thank you for the reviews!**

**Quibblez- idk if you got the review reply but I was already planning to use the violence, so I HAVE GOT UR ANGST! YAYIES!! so i hope my domestic voilence is to your liking :) thanks so much for your review!**

**Scarpaw- you COULD be right, you'll just have to wait and see LOL thanks for your review!**

**Kandei- Oh you and me both! later when this is over we can both bitch slap them LOL thankies for your review!**

**artist-girl731- UPDATED!! :D**

**ShadowsLight33- thank god I updated before you exploded! LOL xD yeah it was a pretty big cliffy, maybe a little too big. so i understand the hate but i'm gald you still love me :D thanks for your review!**

**JohanIsSoCuteAndSweet- thankies for the review, i'm glad you like my story!**

**babyvicz- I know poor him, i feel bad for making him miserable. but it makes for a great story, nai? thanks for your review!**

**angrygirl2000- ha ha i got you off guard! LOL i know she is a hoe! wait until you read this chapter! you'll think she's Super Hoe! xD thanks for your review!**

**Yuki's Little Girl- I know it is sad T-T I almost cried while writting it! thanks for your review!**

**Okay! now that I am done responding! ENJOY THE NEXT CHAPTER!!**

X-X-X-X-X

I didn't care that people were staring at me in utter silence. I just kept on screaming at my mom and Giese as they sat across from me. My mom was getting nervous from all the people looking over at our table so she tried to calm me down.

"Judai," She said in a whisper, "Honey, calm down."

"I will not calm down!" I yelled. I pointed my index finger at the son of a bitch that was literally causing my life to be chaos, "That bastard is playing you Mom! Can't you see that?!"

My mom's eyes widened and started to look around the people in the restaurant, "Judai!" She said harshly.

I glared over at Giese, not saying a word to him. He wasn't worth to talk to. He'd just smirk in my face. So I brought my attention back to my stupid ass mother, "There is no way you are marrying this guy Mom, I won't let you."

Then, of course, Giese butted into the conversation, "Sorry Kid, but you don't really have a choice in the matter."

"Like Hell I do!" I snapped. I leaned over the table getting close to my mom's face, "You're not going to marry this man without my permission first, are you Mom?"

She didn't say anything.

"Right?" I said again, my eyes getting bigger in fear that my mom would actually marry Giese without asking me if it was okay.

Giese wrapped his arm over my mom's shoulder and gave me a smile, "I think your mom knows what she wants, why do you have to ruin it for her?"

I rolled my eyes. Please my mom doesn't know what she wants. She's delusional.

I gave Giese a smirk, "Well why do you have to talk for my mom?" I asked, "She's a grown woman after all, if she knows what she wants, she should tell me." My eyes narrowed at the man, "Not you." I said harshly.

Giese gave me a dirty look, but I didn't care. I folded my arms, waiting for my mom to give me and answer. She clenched the table cloth and without looking up at me, she spoke, "I want to marry Giese, Judai. I know you don't like him but trust me, it will get better. Please Judai," she begged, "let me do this."

I couldn't believe this. She was serious. She was going to marry Giese, and there's nothing I can do about it except stand back and watch. And this is the moment I realized how young and naïve I am to think I could make a difference.

I couldn't stand this! My mom didn't have a brain or an opinion anymore, she just goes on what other people say. I just can't look at her anymore so I abruptly walked away.

My mom hung her head down into her lap. I knew she didn't want this as much as she said she did. But she will realize that sooner or later, the hard way.

Giese put his hand on my mother's back, "I'll talk to him."

My mom nodded slowly.

Giese sighed and got of from his chair and started heading my way.

I didn't know Giese was walking after me. I just walked out the door into the parking lot. I looked around until I found our car and headed towards it. I stepped through many puddles of rain water until I finally made it to the car. I prayed that the door was unlocked. I pulled on the handle and it opened. I let out a relieved sigh and I got into the car and slammed the door shut. I leaned over the driver's seat and locked all the doors so no one could get in.

I leaned back against the leather seats, folding my arms and letting my hair fall in my face. I just kept thinking of how stupid my mom is. I don't want that man in my life, I don't! I'm…afraid. Afraid of him in general. They way he looks, the way he talks, the way he has control. Everything about him makes me freeze up.

I was so deep in thought that I didn't even notice Giese walk up to the car. He tapped on the window and I turned slowly towards him.

"Get out of the car," He said.

I backed up towards the other side of the car, "No! Leave me alone!"

His face was so calm yet his voice was stern, "It would be wise if you got out of the car."

I shook my head. There is no way I'm going to get out of this car with him standing out there.

I saw Giese reach for his pocket. I didn't know what he was pulling out, nor did I want to. He held up a key to the window, knowing that I see it. My eyes widened, he was going to unlock the door.

Panic started to flow through my body like a river when I heard the noise of the door being unlocked. Giese opened the car door and waved at me, "Hey buddy."

I couldn't move. My mind was going blank. There was no escape from this man. I felt my heart pounding against my chest. I felt like I was going to be sick.

Giese smirked and slowly climbed into the car, "Got ya cornered like the little rat ya are."

I started to breathe heavier and heavier with every inch he came closer to me. When he got closer I held my breath and slammed my foot into him face. I could here the crack of his nose being hit by foot. He let out a painful scream and held his bleeding nose.

I let a little smile spread across my face. Now he'll probably back off with his nose nearly broken. I guess I have a thing for breaking peoples noses, Fubuki's and his.

Giese let go of his nose and stared down at the crimson liquid that covered his hand. He was memorized by it for a few moments before clenching his fist and glaring daggers at me. "You little bastard!" He snarled.

I gasped when his bloody hand grabbed my ankle and pulled me closer to him. I started screaming and letting my limbs fly all over the place, just hoping I could get the man off of me.

Giese laughed manically and used his other hand to close the car door from behind.

"LET ME GO!! LET ME GO NOW!!" I screamed as loud as my lungs would let me.

Giese growled and sat on top of my body, pinning my wrist down with a single swipe. His hands gripped my wrists so hard that it was already leaving bruises. That caused me to scream and yell even more. I needed to get out of here. There was no telling what this guy would do to me.

"SOMEONE HELP ME!!" I kept screaming but I was stopped when I felt Giese's fist connect with my cheek. I went completely silent. My eyes looked up at Giese's cold ones. Looking at his eyes was like looking into Hell itself. I was beyond panic now.

Giese leaned down and was only inches away from my face. I could feel his cold breath blowing across my face. I turned my head to the side and closed my eyes tight so I couldn't see him.

"Listen here Kid," I heard him say, "I'm going to tell ya right now that this marriage _is _going to happen between your mom and I. So if I were you I'd sit back quietly and not say a word, unless..." Giese stopped and tugged at his belt on his pants, "...you wanna get hurt."

I shivered under his body, scared for my life.

"Your mom and I had this marriage planned out well before her and your dad got a divorce."

I snapped open my eyes and looked up at him. At first I thought he was lying, just trying to get under my skin. But what reason would he have to lie about that? That's when I got angry. I started to struggle against him but of course he was too strong. I didn't care though, I kept fighting.

Giese started to laugh again, "That's right Kid your mom is a whore."

"Shut up!" I growled through my gritted teeth.

"Can't handle the truth, can ya?" He smirked, "Kid, your mom has been seeing me for months while she was still with your daddy. Why do you think she got a divorce?"

I didn't say anything. So it was true.

I felt Giese's ice cold finger run across my neck and up to my jaw line. I twisted my eyes shut, hoping he wasn't going to do what I thought he was. I could feel him getting really close to my face, to close for comfort. I could feel the devious smirk spread across his face, "I'm your new daddy now. Call me 'Daddy'"

I shook me head furiously.

Giese grabbed my chin roughly so face was facing his. I heard his voice getting irritated, "Say it now."

I half way opened my eyes and shouted, "No!"

He didn't say anything, he just stared at me for the longest time. I could hear myself breathing heavily, and I knew Giese heard it too. He knew I was scared but yet willing to fight back.

"You think you're so tough?" He asked in the calmest force I've ever heard him speak in, "I'll show you who's the tougher one."

I didn't have time to react before Giese dove down on my body and press his lips against my own. I couldn't believe what was happening. This man was kissing me! I felt nasty and disgusting. I started to scream uncontrollably into his mouth but it was muffled so all it sounded like was a moan. When I tried to pull away he only grabbed onto my face to make sure I didn't move. He tried to put his tongue in my mouth but I kept my lips sealed close.

He started to get angry by this so he grabbed at my pants. I gasped, opening my lips far enough for him to shove his slimy tongue down my throat. I started to gag from him going so far down. It felt so...wrong, sick, disgusting, violating. I felt tears brimming on the side of my eyes. I couldn't fight him, he was too strong. I was so weak. Why did I have to be so weak?

A little feeling of relief came over me when he parted his lips from mine, a string of saliva still connecting us. I was trying to catch my breath when he sat up, but still had his body on me. He wiped his mouth, getting the spit off of it.

Then there was me, who laid underneath this monster, in shock, in denial, digusting. I didn't know what to do. This has never happened to me before.

"Now are you gonna say it?" Giese said, still catching his own breath.

I closed my eyes, "Daddy..." I whispered, barely audible.

"What was that?"

"Daddy!" I yelled.

Giese smiled, "Good boy."

X-X-X-X-X

My mom looked up at Giese and I as we walked back into the restaurant. I didn't say a word. I just walked in like I was in my own little world. When I was standing in front of my mom, Giese nudged me.

"What do you say?"

"I'm sorry," I whispered. Look at me, obeying his orders like a dog. He had his leash wrapped around my neck good and tight so I didn't dare run away. Just that way he wanted it.

My mother got up and wiped the tears still in her eyes. She gave me a hug and didn't say anything. She had nothing to say to me, and I had nothing to say to her.

When she was done hugging me, she put her arm around me and we started to walk out of the restaurant. I didn't object to my mom's touch, even though I didn't think of her as a mother anymore. She's not 'mom', she's 'Naomi' to me now. She doesn't deserve the respect mother's get, she doesn't deserve anything.

Naomi is just a person to me now.

X-X-X-X-X

It was the next morning. I was standing at the bus stop with my backpack slung over my shoulder as usual. My cheek swollen and painted with black, blue, purple, and even some yellow from Giese punching me yesterday in the car. It hurt like Hell whenever I touched it or even brushed past it with my hand. I would get questions today at school, no doubt.

I saw an all too fimiliar short blunette walk beside me, Sho. He didn't jump on me like usual and scream, he didn't even give me a 'Hi'. Oh well, it didn't bother me, if he wants to be that way then fine. He'll learn. Everyone does.

Then to make things more enjoyable Ryo came up beside Sho too. Then to make it even better, Fubuki was there with Ryo too. What an akward situation this is. But I had to check out Fubuki's nose, so I did. It was bandaged up. I guess I really did break his nose. And the one thing I regret about it, is I'm giving little giggles right now.

"Oh you think it's so funny don't you?" Fubuki snarled.

I covered my mouth, trying to stop the laughs, "N-No, no! Ha...hahahaha!" I started cracking up. Not that I didn't feel bad for breaking his nose, but he just looked so damn funny!

I felt Fubuki grab my arm and turn me towards him. Me, still laughing. "You better hope to God I...don't..." Fubuki trailed of in his sentence, "What happened to your face?"

I stopped laughing now. I tried to come up with a good exuce, "Well um...I...um...fell."

"On what?"

"The ground," I said in a mocking voice.

I peeked over Fubuki's shoulder to see Ryo and Sho giving me looks that they didn't believe a word I said. Fubuki looked closely at my cheek then lightly touched it. I winced and quickly stepped away, "Don't touch it!" Then Ryo stepped in and grabbed my wrists from where Giese had gripped them until they bruised. I bit my lip this time, not letting out a single whimper.

"What did you do?" Sho asked.

I pulled away from Ryo, "I told you a fell."

Ryo didn't buy it. He's smarter than that and he knew that me falling, was a bullshit story. He didn't say anything though, but his face said it all. Ryo gave Sho and Fubuki a look that shut them right up about the subject.

I was happy when the bus came up the road a few minutes later. So I didn't have to stand in akward silence with the other three. The bus finally came to a stop and the door open with the crackhead bus driver looking at us.

Before I walked up the steps I looked at Fubuki and grabbed his shoulder, "Look man, I'm really sorry about breaking your nose."

Fubuki gave a little smile, "It's okay. I should be sorry for telling Johan about your personal life."

"So we're cool?"

Fubuki lightly punched me in the shoulder, "Cool."

X-X-X-X-X

At school it was no different than the bus. As soon as I got to my locker all I heard was:

"Oh my God what happened?!"

"Dude what you do to your face?"

"There's...um...something on your face man."

"Hahahaha! Did you get your ass kicked?" (Manjyome)

It was really annoying. I kept telling them I fell and they bought it. Thank God my school is filled with gullible people that would belief the world is being attacked by mini marshmellow armies. And I'm not over exaggerating.

I walked into homeroom after going to my locker and having a bunch of questions asked about my wrists and face. And as soon as I walked in, the homeroom teacher jumped up from her desk, "Oh my! Judai what happened?" She shrieked.

"Fell," I said like not a care in the world and went to my usual seat.

I flopped my books on my desk and sat down in the chair. I put my arms across my desk and hid my face in them. Now, if no one can see the bruise on my face then no one will ask. Every time someone would bring it up I just keep thinking over and over about Giese and what he did in the car. I shivered. That image...it's like a nightmare that you keep having every night. But the only difference with me is that I see that nightmare all the time.

I was snapped out of my thoughts when I felt a tap on my shoulder. I glanced up to see Johan looking down at me his expression filled with worry. "What's wrong?" I asked.

Johan didn't say anything, he just pointed at his cheek and wrists.

"I fell," I said for the hundredth time today.

Johan nodded and gave me a thumbs up, "Suuuurrreee ya did."

I watched him sit down in his seat next to me, "What you don't believe me?"

"No," He said bluntly, "And you're stupid to even think I'd believe you on that lame story."

I just rolled my eyes.

Johan pointed his finger at me like a mother scolding her child, "Hey, roll your eyes at me all you want but you know damn well that's not the truth."

"It is the truth," I said.

Johan shook his head and let out a laugh, "Okay whatever you say."

I stuck out my tongue at him and covered my bruise back up with my arm.

I sat there quietly the rest of homeroom, not really saying anything to anybody. I just sat there as people talked to one another. Johan was off talking to this Australian kid, his name was Jim. I've never really talked to the guy but I heard rumors he has a pet alligator. Which I will not believe until I see because I don't even think it is legal to have an alligator.

"Hey I heard you broke Fubuki's nose," A voice said.

I turned around to see Manjyome sitting there with a smirk on his face.

I nodded, "Yeah I did."

"Nice," He said.

"Who told you it was me?" I asked.

"Who do you think?"

The answer was obvious, "Edo?"

Manjyome nodded, "Yep, heard you sucker punched him good too."

I shrugged, "You could say that."

Then Manjyome leaned in closer to me and whispered, "I also heard anything thing from Edo that might interest you."

Oh great, what did Edo spill the beans on this time? I hate how everyone knows that he was the latest gossip and humors. Also, how he has the biggest mouth in the world, bigger than Fubuki's. He can't keep a secret for more than fifteen minutes.

I sighed, "What did he tell you?"

Manjyome smiled, "Oh, nothing. Just that...YOU'RE GOING OUT WITH JOHAN ANDERSEN!!"

I covered Manjyome's mouth but it was far to late. Everyone in home room was looking over in my direction, some giggle, some not believing it, some even getting angry that the school's hottie was taken by me.

"Why?" I asked, "Why do you enjoy making my life Hell?"

Manjyome shrugged, "I dunno, it's like a drug. Once you do it, you can't stop, and it makes me feel nice inside."

I gave a sarcastic smile, "Lovely."

Just then the bell rang. So much for being saved by it. I quickly got my books and ran out the door, so I didn't have to deal with all the people questioning me about Johan. As soon as I got out into the hall I saw Edo leaning against his locker, thinking he's the coolest thing to ever walk the planet. I stomped my way over there, and no I'm not planning on hitting him!

I walked up to him and started to beat him with my books.

"Ow! God damn!" He yelled. He was trying to defend himself but failed miserably.

"Why the Hell you tell Manjyome I'm going out with Johan?" I asked.

"I dunno," he said, rubbing his arm from me pounding it with my books, "I thought he wouldn't tell anyone."

"He's _Manjyome_! You know Manjyome Thunder or whatever he calls himself. He will _not _keep a secret that involves me in it!" I yelled in his face.

Edo backed up against the locker, "Okay, okay sorry!"

I sighed, "Did you tell anyone else?"

"Maybe."

"Oh dear Jesus! Who?!"

Edo put his finger on his chin. Oh great, if he's thinking then he told alot of people. "I like told five people no big deal."

"Better be the last people you tell!" I snapped.

"Alright!"

I didn't say anything else. I'm pretty sure Edo understood where I'm coming from quiet clearly and I'm sure he won't say anything else to anyone. Or else my books won't be the thing hitting him. With that I ran off to my first class before the tardy bell rang. God knows what Mr. Chronos will do to me if I'm late again.

I made it into class about a second before the bell rang so I was save from Mr. Chronos screaming at me. I walked over to my seat that was two seats down from Johan and Manjyome right across from me. Damn, why couldn't they switch seats? But I ignored it for today and set my books down and sat down. I opened my Science book to the page number written on the board and sat there silently.

When Mr. Chronos got into the room he was mad as mad can be. I swear there was steam coming out of his ears. "How dare they call me 'Miss'! I'm not a 'Miss' I am a 'Mr.'!"

Oh great this again.

Mr. Chronos pointed his finger at all of us, his face red as a tomato, "Same goes for all of you and your little jokes! Next one of you calls me 'Miss' you get detention!"

Manjyome snapped his fingers, "Damn."

Then the class finally calmed down, same with Mr. Chronos. He came walking down the rows of desks, teaching about the water cycle. Stuff I really didn't care about. When he got to my desk he suddenly stopped in his teaching. I could feel him looking down at me, now I was the one red as a tomato. Was he gonna scream at me or something?

"Judai...what hapened to your cheek?"

Oh will people just leave it alone? I looked up from my book to the teacher's, "I fell,"

Mr. Chronos gave me a strange look, "Really? Hmm." And that's all he said, then went back to his teachings.

All that day he wasn't the only one to give that reaction. Through out the day the teachers kept giving me strange looks, even if I didn't say anything about the marks on my cheek and wrists.

To be honest that happened all that week. The next day I heard some teachers talking about it to themselves. Then when I walked past them, they stopped. Every one of those teachers kept giving me strange looks and kept asking about the marks. Finally almost the end of the week, they started to fade away.

I was happy about that since no one was asking about it anymore and it was all history. I still didn't tell Johan where the marks came from, nor did he press me for answers.

Little did I know, that more marks would appear on my body. I still remembered that one Thursday I came home from school, about a week after the incident in the car with Giese.

I got off the bus and waved to Sho and Ryo as they walked to their house. Fubuki wasn't going home with them this time. His mom was sick and tired of him not being home.

It was a nice day outside. Sunny, not a cloud in the beautiful blue sky. I had the feeling it was going to be a great night for flashlight tag with Fubuki, Sho, Ryo and Johan. Now that was a nightly thing that we created a few days ago. Yeah, a great night...or so I thought.

I walked up my driveway, the first thing a saw was Giese's car. I've actually gotten use to im being here but I'm not saying I like it. He actually hasn't laid a single finger on me since last weekend. That's when I started to think maybe it was only I one time thing. That he would only do that once. But who am I kidding?

Half of Giese's body was underneath the car with tools laying beside his bottom half. He was apparently fixing his junky old car that looked like it time leaped from the 1970's. I didn't greet him when I walked pass, I kept on walking.

But he had seen my feet from under the car so he's not going to let me go waltzing by without saying something. "Yo Kid!" He called from under the car.

I stopped, half way on up the front steps to the door. "What?" I said in a snippy voice.

Giese slid on his back out from underneath the car. Oil and grease was smeared all over his face from him sweating. "I need to talk to ya." He said in a serious voice.

Obviously this was quite important so I dropped my book bag on the steps and sat down, "Okay shoot."

Giese sighed, "Oh where do I start?" He stood up from the cement and sat on the hood of his beat up car, "Look Kid-"

"It's Judai," I snapped.

Giese rolled his eyes, "Whatever. Anyway we have a major problem."

"What could that be?" I asked.

"Your attitude."

I closed my eyes and gave a cocky smile, "My attitude is just fine."

Giese folded his arms, "Ya sure about that?"

I nodded, "Yep I'm better sure."

Giese gave a sarcastic laugh, "There's that attitude I love so much." He also gave a sarcastic smile, "Maybe that's why your mom is starting to disown you."

My smile quickly faded, "What was that?"

Giese's expression didn't change one bit, "Ya don't see it? You and your mom slowly fading apart."

"And how do you figure that?" I asked.

Giese shrugged, "Oh I don't know. Maybe because you're making your mom miserable." The man hopped off his car and walked slowly over towards me, "How you walk around here with a chip on your shoulder. Blaming you mom for everything little thing." Giese got right up to my face and grabbed my cheek with his clammy hands, "Poor little baby goes and blames his problems on everyone else."

I growled and slapped his hand away "Don't you touch me!"

"Don't ya snap at me!" He yelled, "Remember I'm your new daddy."

"You're not my dad," I hissed, "my dad is still here and he's nothing like you!"

Not like my dad is the best dad in the world but he's better than this guy I'll give him that much. Rather get nearly ran over than be with this man.

Giese gave a deep laugh, "Well ya don't see him around, do ya? That means I'm your dad."

I glared at him. My eyes shooting knives at his stupid head. When Giese turned around to go back to working on his car, I made the grave mistake of mumbling, "Stupid mother fucker."

Giese twitched and stopped in his tracks. He slowly looked over his should to me, "What was that?"

"N-Nothing!" I stuttered.

Giese turned his whole body to me, "You think it's funny to call me a name behind my back?!" He yelled.

My heart started to beat fast. I knew I was in big trouble. That's when I started to panic. what if he did the same thing he did last week? What if it was worse this time? What if he would actually-?

So many thoughts were rushing through my head, I didn't have time to react to Giese's hand grabbing my collar and jerking me towards him.

"Ya think it's funny?!" He shouted in my face.

I slowly shook my head, my eyes wide in fear.

Giese stared into my eyes a long time. I thought he was starting to calm down but I was wrong. He stomped his way towards to door, still hanging onto my collar. Before Giese could open the door my mother did.

She looked at me, then back at Giese, "What are you doing?" she asked, her voice alert.

Giese walked right past my mom and said, "Your child needs to learn his place."

"No! Mom tell him to stop!" I screamed.

My mom's eyes were bigger than mine. She darted up the stairs, trying to catch up with Giese before he got to my room. "Giese don't you do it!" Panic started to fill her voice.

Then I started to get more frightened. Has your parents always told you 'If we aren't scared, you shouldn't be scared'? Well now my mom was scared, so now I was extremely scared. My shaking hands gripped Giese's wrist. I tried to pry him off of me but the ugly truth I always learned was, he was simply too strong for me.

I let out a yelp when Giese tossed me into my room like a rag doll and slammed the door shut. He locked it right before my mom started to pound insanly on the door.

"Giese! Stop it now!" She pounded on the door so hard I thought it was going to crack, "Don't you dare touch him!

Touch...me? Fear started to completely absorb me. It was like I was blinded by fear. I didn't even bother to act tough at this point.

Giese gave an evil smirk and grabbed at his belt. I stumbled over to the corner of my room and looked up at his cold eyes with my frighten ones.

"I-I'm sorry," I squeaked out.

"Too late for that," he said, completely pulling his belt off his pants. He held it in both hands and made loud snaps with it.

I felt the tears run down my face, "Please," I begged, "don't do this to me."

Giese shrugged, "Well ya shouldn't of been a little brat. Now look what's going to happen to ya." he pointed at my pants, "Take them off."

I felt a wave of cold sweat rush over me. I looked down at my pants and closed my eyes. I nervously unbuttoned my school uniform pants. I watched, in pure shame, as the dropped to the ground. My long school skirt still covered my body, but just barely.

"Turn around," He ordered.

I did what I was told, like dog taking orders from its master.

"At least try not to make a sound." He said, his voice cocky.

"Giese! Stop it!!" My mother screamed on last time before the first _'crack' _of the belt hitting my bare skin echoed through the house.

I gave out a little yelp the first time, I thought I could handle it because it didn't hurt as much as I thought. But then Giese continued beating me with his thick belt. Then I started to scream in agony. My fingernails were scratching against the wall from just trying to find something to hang onto for dear life. Sometimes the whips were so hard that I couldn't feel it. But the rest of them I could feel, I could feel them down to the bone.

Soon he started to use his belt buckle. First swat at me I could already feel the welts and brusies forming on my thighs and butt. I dug my nails so hard in the wall the paint was chipping off. _'Crack" _after _'crack'_ came more and more painful screams from my lungs. I screamed so loud that I couldn't even do it anymore. I'd open my mouth and nothing would come out from my lungs being so tired.

Finally Giese gave me one last, hard whip. I didn't even bother making a noise. I just slid down the wall, tears coming out of my eyes like a raging river.

Giese looked down at me. A satisfied look on his face. He dropped his belt on the floor and walked out of the room, not saying a word. As soon as he opened the door my mom pushed him out of the way and gave him a few punches before slamming the door in his face.

"He's my respondsibily to ya know!" I yelled through the door.

My mom ignored him and ran over to me. She wrapped me in her arms and gave me a tight hug. I didn't hug her back though. I was too exhausted and my body was shaking too bad to even move. That's when I finally found my voice and started to sob as loud as I screamed.

My mom held me as close as she could and rocked me back and forth, like a child. "Judai..." She whispered, little chokes and sobs escaping her mouth.

That's when I realize that maybe my mom still cared for me. Maybe she still love me. Maybe...

She kissed my forehead, "Baby, what did you do to make him so angry?"

Maybe...she's never going to change...

X-X-X-X-X

I was limping into school the next day. Limping so bad you'd think I have a back of on eighty year old. Everytime I'd take a step, a jolt of pain would shoot through my whole body. All the bruises, welts, and cuts were on my butt and part of my upper thigh. It actually started to bleed this morning while I was in the shower.

Giese was kicked out of the house yesterday by my mom. I'm strongly hoping that my mom sees what kind of person he is and sends his ass packing. I really hope. But that's all I can do right now.

I limped over to my locker and again, I was swarmed with question from every direction.

"What did you do now?!"

"Oh God you're limping now?!"

"Jesus what the Hell happened to you this time?" (Manjyome)

Johan caught me before I limped into homeroom with my books. He looked at me with worry in his emerald eyes, "Oh my God," He whispered, "Judai what happened?"

I hung my head low, "I don't want to talk about it." Then I simply walked away, leaving Johan in a confused and worried state. I feel bad not telling him but we're in school right now and it's my only time away from home. I don't want to think about home when I don't have to worry about it here. Home was Hell, school was Heaven.

How messed up is that?

I limped by the homeroom teachers desk, like very morning. (Except without the limping) This time she stopped me by grabbing my shoulder. I looked over my shoulder to see her now giving me a worried look. "Judai...can I talk to you out in the hallway for a minute?"

"Um...sure." I didn't want to but she was a teacher. And even if I sid 'no' she'd probably force me to come out anyways.

She got up from her desk and announced to the class she would be right back. Then she walked away from her desk and out in the hallway, with me following. I wasn't even out of the class yet when I heard someone say:

"What's wrong with Judai?"

I clenched my fist. I hated this. I hate Giese.

I walked out in front of the teacher and then she shut the classroom door behind her. "Follow me," she said. I was dumbstruck for a minute because I thought we came out here to talk, not go somewhere. But I didn't ask questions, I just followed.

We walked down the hallway for what seemed like ages until we finally stopped in front of a door. I looked up at the sign above it and it said 'Office'. Was she going to take me to see the Principal? Why would she anyway? I know for a fact I haven't gotten into trouble. So why?

We walked into the office and in front of us was an old looking woman with glasses. She was the school's secritary, nice woman, but could be a major bitch sometimes.

She pulled down her glasses to the edge of her nose, "Yes?"

My teacher went over to her and leaned over the desk. She whispered something in her ear and the old woman nodded, "Of course."

Then my teacher looked over at me and waved her hand in a motion that said to follow her. Without hesitation I walked with her towards the door behind the secretary's desk. I knew this door well, it was Principal's Samejima's. Damn she was taking me to see him! But what did I do? I was no part of Manjyome shoving that nerdy kid into the locker and filling it with shaving cream.

My teacher opened the door to the office. In there I saw Principal Samejima sitting in his leather chair, a grin on his face as usual.

"Judai, nice to see you," He said cheerfully.

I bet. I nodded, "You too...I guess."

The old man pointed to a chair in front of him, "Have a seat my dear boy."

My teacher then pointed at me, "You know why he is here?"

He nodded, "Yes I was aware he was coming in yesterday. You may leave."

She nodded and took one last look at me before shutting the door.

Principal Samejima sighed and leaned back in his chair. He tangled his fingers together and rested his bearded chin on them, "So Judai, do _you _know why you're here?" He asked, his smile gone.

I shook my head, "No."

"I see," He said. There was an awkward pause and then Principal Samejima put his elbows on his desk, "Let's just say you're here because of you're recent bruises and limping."

X-X-X-X-X

Kikuchan: GASP!! THEY KNOW!!

Judai: AHHHH!! -hides under a pillow-

Kikuchan: RUN FOR THE HILLS!! WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!!

Johan: Shut up you're not dieing!

Kikuchan and Judai: We're not?

Johan: No it's just the end of the chapter...retards...

Kikuchan: oh...i knew that!

Johan: uhhhh huh.

Kikuchan: you know what forget chu!

PLEASE REVIEW! you that you want to because you have many feelings to express about this chapter!


	12. Broken Bones

**oh my f--cking god!! i got 27 reviews! ...TWENTY SEVEN!! omg thank u SOO much for all your wonderful reviews! i'm not going to reply since i'm lazy and there is too many of you, but thank u! Okay just to let u know, i re-wrote this damn chapter five times, and I'm still not sure if I'm happy with it. So I'll let you guys be the judge :) Enjoy this chapter and it would be the bomb . com if u guys gave me just as much reviews as last chapter! thank u! **

X-X-X-X-X

"Judai..." Principal Samejima started, "there are a lot of concerns about the recent bruises you have gotten."

I knew this would happen. It was only a matter of time before people blew this whole thing out of proportion. It's none of their business anyway about my bruises. They shouldn't be jumping to conclusions...even though their conclusions are right.

"What are these _concerns_?" I asked, giving a smug look at the principal.

Principal Samejima lightly bit his lip, "Well, people are thinking that these wounds were, how should I say, inflicted on you by another person."

My throat suddenly became dry. I guess people aren't as stupid as I thought they were. To be more specific, teachers. They is no way that students would figure that out, only adults.

I tried my hardest to keep my cool when talking, "Why would they think that?" Principal Samejima didn't say anything but point at his wrists. I gave a confused look and pointed to my own wrists, "You want to see them?"

Principal Samejima nodded.

I did as he said and lifted my arms up and set them on the oak desk. I watched as Principal Samejima grabbed my wrists with his clammy hands. He was holding my wrists as if they were little babies and he didn't want to drop them. Then he started to rub his thumbs over my slowly fading bruises from when Giese gripped me really hard.

I gave the old man a weird look, "What are you-?"

"How did you get these marks?" Principal Samejima asked, just cutting me off of my sentence.

"I fell off my bike and landed on my wrists to catch myself, but I landed wrong and my wrists are bruised now." Yes, I'm going to lie. If I tell this old geezer about what Giese has been doing, it would definitely get back to him. Then who knows what that monster would do to me.

Principal Samejima looked at my wrists for a long time. He was peering closer and closer to the marks until he said, "These marks don't look like bruises from swelling, they look like fingerprints."

Damn he's good. Real good.

"They do?" I said like I didn't believe him. I looked closer at the fading bruises, even though I already knew what they looked like, "They don't look like fingerprints to me."

Principal Samejima changed his gaze from my wrists to me, "Are you sure no one did this to you?"

I gave him a strange look, "Umm…yeah I'm pretty sure."

"Are you telling me the truth?" he asked.

"Yes, the complete truth," I said, getting a little snippy, "Why would you think someone did this to me?"

"I'm just looking at every possible explanation Judai," Principal Samejima said calmly.

"I gave you the explanation!" I snapped, "I fell off my bike. How many times to I have to say it to you?"

The old man looked at me in the eyes for a while, then gave a sigh and let go of my wrists. I quickly pulled my arms back to my lap and slowly rubbed them. I was starting to get a little nervous. This guy is obviously smarter than he looks. One false move and I could give myself away.

"I have a few more questions," the principal said, scratching the side of his head like he was irritated with me.

"Okay, go for it," I said.

I guess Principal Samejima has a thing with pointing because he was waving his index finger at my cheek. I knew he was asking me about the bruise, which was almost gone, on my face. I quickly made up a story in my head and made sure it was believable. It was a perfect story.

"Well Fubuki, Sho, Ryo and I were hanging out last weekend at Best Buy. Me and Fubuki got in an argument with each other and one thing lead to another and Fubuki punched me." I tapped on my cheek lightly, "That's how I got my bruise. Then I punched Fubuki in the nose and that's why he has bandages on it."

Principal Samejima nodded, "Yes that would explain it."

"Do you believe that?" I asked, "Or are you gonna question me on my own story?"

"No, I'm not. It's a believable story."

I raised my eyebrow, "What do you mean by a 'believable story'?" This guy is questioning me again! He's just being very clever at hiding it.

"Never mind," He said quickly.

"No! Don't 'never mind' me!" I snapped, "You don't believe a word I'm saying!"

"What makes you say that?" he asked.

"'Cause you're questioning what I'm saying to you!" I hollered.

Principal Samejima leaned back in his chair and folded his arms, "Okay Judai, I see your point." He rubbed his beard thoughtfully then bit his lip, "But let me ask you one question."

"What is it?" I asked in a sassy voice.

The old man looked into my eyes when he asked his question, "Why did you get so worked up when I consider that the reason for your bruises is that someone is giving them to you?"

I froze stiff from head to toe. He got me. I made a false move and I gave him an opening.

"From your reaction," the principal stated, "I would say that you're hiding something from me."

"I'm not hiding anything," I said as calmly as I could manage.

"Are you telling me the truth?"

"Yes, I'm telling you the truth."

Principal Samejima rested his elbows on his desks, "You don't have to be scared Judai. You can tell me what's wrong."

"I told you nothing is wrong." I said through my gritted teeth.

He let out a long sigh, "Okay, I believe you."

No he doesn't. He doesn't believe one word I'm saying and he knows I'm well aware of it. So he's going to question me further and get me to crack. He thinks I'm just some stupid ass sixteen year old and I'll spill my story to him without thinking it through. Well he is wrong!

"I have one more question for you." He said.

Oh great, what next?

He cleared his throat before speaking, "You're limping pretty bad today. What did you do?"

"Nothing much," I said dully, "I slipped and fell into a creek while I was hanging out with Johan."

"Oh really?"

"Yeah, really." I said giving the principal a glare.

"From what you have told me, you seem to be quite the klutzy person." He said, giving me the first smile I've seen out of him through this whole dreadful conversation.

I nodded like I didn't care, "Yep, you can say that."

"Maybe I should have the school nurse have a look at you."

"No," I said quickly.

"Why not?" He asked.

He knows why, that cheeky bastard. I know his plan. He wants me to see the nurse and have me reveal my cuts and bruises so it will confirm his suspicions. My bruises have belt marks on them, so it would be a dead give away. This guy is really good, I'll give him that.

"There's no need to," I said, "I've already been to the doctors."

"Oh," Principal Samejima nodded, "What did the doctors say?" he asked.

I shrugged, "Just that nothing is severely wrong."

The old man bit his lip, "I see."

There was a long pause that seemed like forever to me. Finally I just said, "Can I go back to class now?"

Since he had no other questions to ask me, he let me go.

I spared no time in getting out of my seat and limping out of that office.

X-X-X-X-X

Throughout the whole day I tried not to think about the conversation with the principal. It gave me an uneasy feeling every time I thought about it. Not the fact that I lied about almost everything I said, it's that I don't think that Principal Samejima is just going to let this go by. What if he calls my mom and tells her, 'Hey your son was in here today and I questioned him about his recent injuries!' Then mom will tell Giese and then he will…

Oh don't even think about that.

Putting that aside, Johan isn't talking to me either. I try and talk to him and he just looks away and gives me single answers. It's really starting to worry me. Maybe he might seriously be mad at me for not telling him the truth. No, it's not a 'maybe' it's a 'definitely'. I can see why though, since he spilled his whole story about his mother to me, I guess I owe it to him to tell the truth.

But I just don't want him to worry about me. I don't want to be a bother. I mean, if he's all wrapped up in my problems he won't be able to focus on his own. I'm doing it for the best, and if he's going to be pissed at me for it, so be it.

Oh and if that wasn't bad enough, my ass has been hurting really bad. I mean worse than it was this morning. I knew I would expect this from all the bruises and wounds on it but this was just getting ridiculous. I was limping worse, the pain was worse, and now it was hurting to sit down! I thought it get better as time went on, not worse!

I just wanted this day to end.

Since God wants me to have a little bit of a break, he let the bell ring to end the final period of the day.

Thanks a lot God.

I gathered my books and very slowly got up from my seat in Health class. I had to lean on the desk to make sure not to put too much weight on my body. But after a few moments I put all my weight on the ground and let go of my desk. As I went to go pick up my books I heard a voice from behind me.

"Your limp is getting worse."

I looked over my shoulder to see Johan standing behind me. I was surprised that he was even talking to me, I thought he was mad.

I nodded, "Yeah, it hurts pretty bad."

Johan let out a sigh and put his books on the ground. I gave him a strange look since I didn't know what the Hell he was doing. He was kneeling on the ground and putting his arms out behind him.

"Get on."

"What?"

"Well you obviously are in no shape to walk to your locker," Johan gave me a little smile, "so I guess I'll have to carry you there."

My eyes widened, "You'd do that?"

Johan looked at me like I was crazy, "Of course! You're my boyfriend after all, it's the least I can do."

"What about our books?" I asked, "You can't carry me and both are books at the same time."

"You're right," he said. Johan looked around the class room then yelled, "Hey you!"

Some kid who was still getting his books together looked over at us, "Yeah?"

Johan motioned his head to me, "Can you carry his books and mine?"

"Sure," the kid said grabbing his books and walking over to us. I watched the kid pick up both mine and Johan's books. He looked funny carrying a big stack of books when he was no bigger than a twelve year old.

"Come on," Johan said in patiently.

I ignored the kid and carefully placed myself on Johan's back. I felt him slip his arms around my legs so I wrapped my arms around his neck to keep me from falling off. Johan pulled both him and me up. He wobbled a bit when he stood up but he soon got balance.

"Damn, you're heavier than you look." Johan laughed.

"Thanks," I said sarcastically.

Johan started walking towards the door and was out of the classroom, the little munchkin with the stack of text books following.

Not that I wasn't thankful and all for what Johan was doing for me but it was a little weird that one moment a guy is avoiding you and they next he's talking to you and giving you a piggyback ride. I know I'm not the only one who feels this way.

Also, it's kind of embarrassing when your boyfriend is giving you a piggyback ride down the hallway with everyone watching you. I felt my face turning beat red from all the looks and laughs I was getting. But at least most people know about my injury so they didn't pay attention to it.

Well I got to my locker finally, to show the kid that was carrying my books where to put them. He opened my locker and put my books on the top shelf and closed it shut no problem. Then we went to Johan's locker which was only a few down from mine and the kid put his in too, again no problems there. After that we thanked the kid for his help and he scurried away to his own locker.

"Hey you want to come back to my house?" Johan asked as we walked down the stairs to the front door.

"Sure," I said with no hesitation. Since my mom wasn't going to be home until late that evening I guess its fine. What mom doesn't know won't hurt her.

"Is it okay with your mom?" he asked.

"Yeah, she doesn't care."

Johan carried me out the front door of the school. It felt good breathing in fresh air after being in that torturous school for seven hours. Also, it's the weekend, so two days of no school, yay!

Johan was looking around the parking lot, trying to spot his dad's car somewhere. After a few moments of searching he found his dad's black Mustang. Yes you heard right, it was a Mustang! This years edition too! My mom has a damn pickup truck!

We walked over to the God-like car of my dreams. I was kind of nervous actually, since I've never met Johan's dad before. I mean I need to make a good impression since he's this big doctor and I'm dating his son. We got to the driver's side of the car and Johan tapped on the tinted window.

The window rolled down to reveal and middle-aged man with black hair. It was kind of long for a man his age. He actually looked pretty young for his age though. Through his sun glasses I could see blue eyes. Just from the color of his eyes I could tell he was Johan's dad. There aren't many blue orbs like those in the wrold.

Johan's dad pulled down his sunglasses and looked at me up and down, "So is this Judai?" he asked, turning his gaze to Johan.

Johan nodded, "Yep, this is him."

"Uh huh," he said, "Why is he on your back?"

Johan hesitated in answering, "He's um…hurt."

"Where?" His dad asked.

Johan shrugged, "I dunno."

"Maybe I should take a look at it when we get home."

"That's okay!" I chirped, "I'm fine, really!"

"If you say so," he said, "now you two get in the car."

I whispered in Johan's ear, "He knows I'm coming over?"

Johan smiled, "Yeah, I asked him if it was okay this morning, since I was going to ask you today at school if you wanted to, and he agreed."

"Alrighty," I said all cheerful-like.

Johan opened the car door with his one hand and lowered me down into the leather seat. I carefully scooted into the seat trying not to hurt anything. I got settled in the seat okay then Johan got in behind me and shut the door.

I saw Johan's dad's blue eyes staring at me through the review mirror, "Are you sure you're okay?" he asked.

"Yeah," I said in an assuring voice, "I'm fine, just a little bruised."

"Okay," he said, "By the way my name is Jonathan, if you need anything, just ask."

"I will be sure too," I smiled.

Jonathan gave a small laugh and started the engine to the Mustang. The exhaust pipe roared and I looked at Johan in amazement. Johan just smiled and said, "Cool huh?"

I nodded, "Super cool!"

I listened to the engine, like a little child listening for the ice cream man. It was just so awesome! I've always kind of been into cars but this was just sweet! I looked out the tinted windows as we drove by the buses. We stopped just beside my own bus where I saw Fubuki sitting in the last seat as usual. What until he sees me!

I rolled down my window and yelled, "Fubuki!"

The brunette jumped in his seat and turned to face out the window to see me leaning out the window of a Mustang with Johan leaning over me to wave to him.

Fubuki's jaw dropped and I saw him poke Ryo and yell to Sho to come over and see us. Soon all three of them had their faces against the window. Sho quickly pulled the hatches to the school bus window and pulled it down.

"What are you doing in that sweet car?!" Fubuki shouted out the window.

Johan smiled, "He's coming home with me!"

Sho pointed in awe at the car, "That's yours?!"

"Jealous?!" Johan laughed.

"Major!"

"Hey Ryo!" I called, "Have any comments?"

Ryo folded his arms and gave a huff. He didn't say anything. I snickered, "What I'd expect!"

I heard the exhaust pipe roar again as we took off to the street. The last thing I yelled was, "Here that monster roar?!"

Fubuki stuck out his tongue and put his head back into the bus. Johan and I laughed hysterically and put our own heads back into the car. I rolled up the tinted window and tried to control my laughter.

"Did you see his face?" Johan asked while laughing.

"Yeah!"

Even Jonathan was laughing, "Showing off my car to your friends?"

"We don't even have to show it off," I said, "it's already slick."

"You think so?" Jonathan asked while looking in the review mirror again.

"I know so!"

And that was our whole conversation on the way home about how cool Johan's dad's car was. It's what you expect from a surgeon. They make a ton of cash, so no wonder the car is expensive and the bomb!

I just love how cool Johan's family is! I mean his stepmom is the nicest person I've ever met, his dad is just plain awesome, and his little sister just adores me. I envy this so bad right now. It makes me sad because I know this is how a family is supposed to be and I don't have that. If I had one wish it would be for my mom and dad to be like Johan's.

Ah! Quit feeling sorry for yourself! Think happy thoughts, happy thought dammit!

We finally pulled up in Johan's driveway. His dad hit the garage door opener and it opened slowly. Jonathan pulled into the garage when the door opened all the way and he turned off the car.

"Home sweet home," he said while he opened his car door.

Johan opened his car door too and looked over at me. He put out his hand to help me out of the car. I thought it was really sweet how Johan was helping me and all. So I put my hand in his and he helped me out of the car as best as he could.

As soon as I got out of the car I felt a shock of pain go up my spine. I let out a yelp and stumbled into Johan's chest. Thank God he had good reflects and caught me before we both went over.

"Are you okay?" Johan asked in a worried tone.

"Y-Yeah," I managed to say, "I'm fine."

I felt Jonathan gazing at me as Johan helped my back on my feet. He didn't say anything but I knew he wanted to.

Johan helped me walk up the few stairs into the house. I was greeted with the smell of vanilla blow into my face. Emmy had obviously been cleaning a lot today. It seems like that's all she does.

"We're home!" Johan called into the house.

A few seconds past until we heard the rush of footsteps running towards us. JoJo appeared out of the corner and jumped on her brother, "Johan's back!"

Johan chuckled, "Hey Jo, what are you doing home so early?"

JoJo smiled wide so you could see her teeth, three were missing. She pointed to her mouth, "Dentist appointment."

"Did he yell at you?" Jonathan asked, appearing form behind us.

"Daddy!" JoJo shouted then tackled him.

"Hey honey," he cooed while rubbing her dark blue hair.

Johan lightly bumped my arm, "Come on. Let's go to my room."

I smirked, "As long as you carry me,"

Johan groaned, "Fine." He got down on one knee and put out his arm behind him like before and I got onto Johan's back. I wrapped my arms around his neck as he lifted me up and walked rather quickly to the steps leading upstairs.

As we went up the stairs I saw Emmy in the living room watching TV.

"Hi Emmy!" I called cheerfully.

She turned around and gave me that sweet smile, "Hey hun, you hungry?"

"Yeah!"

"Okay, I just ordered pizza it will be here in a few minutes."

"Thanks Mom," Johan said.

"Anytime," she said before turning back to the TV.

Johan opened the door to his room and stepped in. I let my arms hang of Johan's shoulders and let out a frustrated huff, "I feel like I'm crippled."

Johan laughed and walked over to his bed, "Well you kind of are." He said while kneeling beside the bed, letting me sit down on it. I used my arm to lift myself off of Johan's back and onto the bed. I let out a wince when I bounce a little on the bed.

"Jeez!" Johan yelled, "Even a tempurpedic hurts you?"

I bit my lip, "I don't know, it's been hurting really bad all today." I said while turning on my side to try and get the pain to go away. It worked because my pain started to vanish.

"What did you do?" he asked.

"Umm I…"

Johan sighed, "I guess you still don't want to tell me, huh?"

I closed my eyes, "I'm sorry,"

"It's okay," he said, sitting on the bed next to me, "you obviously have your reasons not to tell me so I won't force you to say anything."

"Did you just realize that last period today?" I asked.

Johan gave a weak laugh, "Yeah, that's why I wasn't mad anymore."

I knew that was what he was mad at today. I'm happy that he let it go and realized that I didn't want to tell him for a good reason.

"I'm really sorry," I mumbled, "I'm just not ready to tell you yet."

Johan kissed my cheek gently, "Don't be sorry. I'll wait patiently until your ready to tell me the truth."

I gave a weak smile, "Thank you."

"But can you at least do me a favor?" he asked.

"What?"

Johan was a little hesitant but came out with it, "Can you at least show me whatever it is that is hurting you?"

Should I? I'm already not telling him about how I'm limping, maybe I should show him. I owe it to him. He's being so patient and he's been helping me move around and stuff. I don't want to try and hide my bruises from Johan forever. I should…I'm going to…

I let out a sigh, "Okay I'll show you. But…!" I trailed off while pointing up my finger, "…realize how hard it is for me to show this to you."

Johan nodded and leaned closer to me, as to say for me to hurry up.

My hands started to tremor as I reached for my zipper. I gulped as I zipped my pants down and cautiously slipped my pants down to my knees. My bruises were still covered by my boxers. I pulled up the leg of my boxers until you could see the red of the cuts and the purple, blue, and black of the giant bruises.

Johan's jaw dropped down to the floor and his eyes widened to the point they were going to burst out of his head, "Oh…my God."

I sat there silently as Johan observed the injuries. He from the look on his face, he couldn't believe what he was seeing. He went to go run his finger on it but quickly pulled back, afraid he might hurt me.

"Judai," he whispered, "this…what did you…?"

"Boys!" Emmy called from downstairs, "Pizza's here!"

I quickly pulled my boxers back down and pulled up my pants and zipped them up. I put out my hand, "Help me up."

Johan slowly grabbed my hand and helped me to my feet. He was still in shock, I could tell from his body movements and expressions. Maybe I shouldn't have told him if this is what was going to happen. Now he's going to worry non-stop. Why didn't I listen to my conscience? Going on feelings never works.

"Listen Johan," I said, "I don't want you to worry about me, okay?"

Johan gave me a crazy look, "You show me a bunch of cuts and bruises on your ass and you don't expect to worry about it?" he asked, outraged, "If I didn't know any better I'd think that someone was beating the shit out of you!"

I quickly covered Johan's mouth, "Shut up!" I hissed, "You don't yell that kind of stuff out loud!"

Johan pushed my arm away, "Why do you care if it's not true?"

"I-I dunno," I stuttered.

Johan stared at me, studying me, "Is that it? Is someone doing this to you?" he asked biting on his fingernail.

"Judai! Johan! Get down here!" Jonathan called.

"We should go downstairs," I said, heading towards the door.

"You didn't answer my question," Johan snipped.

Without looking back at the bluenette I said, "We'll talk about this later." Then I limped the rest of the way to the door and opened it. I looked back at Johan, "Coming?"

Johan nodded and walked out of his room. I followed him with my limp until he stopped at the top of the stairs. He got down on his knee again, which I already know what he wanted me to do, so I got on his back. We didn't say anything to each other. Johan just gave me a piggyback down the long staircase.

We got to the bottom of the stairs and Johan walked me the rest of the way to the kitchen. When we got in the glamorous kitchen, my mouth watered from the smell of the pizza on the table. I was starving.

Johan gently set me down and I had no problem standing. I guess I was lucky this time. I limped over to the wooden table and gazed at the pizza. My stomach rumbled loudly and I quickly held it, giving a little blush.

Emmy giggled, "You can have the first piece Honey since you're so hungry."

"Thanks," I mumbled in embarrassment.

JoJo was laughing and pointing at me, little squirt.

I smiled, "What are you laughing at?"

"Your tummy is wreally loud."

"Maybe because it wants to eat you!" I teased.

"It couldn't eat me silly, I too big!" she laughed.

"You're big?" Jonathan smiled and grabbed JoJo and put her on his shoulders.

"Jon," Emmy said sternly, "not in the house."

Jonathan laughed, "You treat me like the kids sometimes Emmy." He took JoJo off his shoulders and placed her back on the ground. JoJo pouted since her rein of tallness didn't last long.

Emmy grabbed two pieces of pizza and set it on a paper plate. She smiled while she handed it to me, "Here you go Judai. Hope you don't mind us being hillbillies today with the paper plates."

I chuckled, "It's fine, at least you don't have to do dishes."

She nodded, "Oh God yes, a break from those damn dishes."

I watched as Emmy got the rest of her family pizza on their paper plates. She served herself last. I've always noticed that mothers always make sure that the rest of the family is served before their selves. I thought it was a very nice gesture.

Emmy was letting us eat on the living room tonight. Apparently it was a once every blue moon kind of thing because JoJo kept saying how awesome it was to be eating in the living room.

I limped over to the leather couch where Johan was sitting. He held me hand and helped me ease onto the couch. It was like I was pregnant or something and I couldn't sit down without help.

"Oh dear, are you hurt?" Emmy asked, while walking into the living room to sit by her husband.

I smiled, "Yeah, just a little."

Jonathan rubbed his chin thoughtfully, "Judai?"

I looked up with a piece of pizza hanging in my mouth, "Hmm?" I swallowed the piece of pizza, "What is it?"

"Where does it hurt?" he asked.

"Right here," I said while pointing right above my butt.

Jonathan nodded and continued to rub his chin, "When does the pain usually happen?"

"Mostly when I walk, sit, or bend down."

Emmy looked at her husband concerned, "Do you know what's wrong with him?"

Jonathan didn't respond to Emmy's question. He just placed his plate of pizza on the coffee table and stood up from the couch. He walked over to me and said, "Can you please stand up?"

"What are you going to do Jon?" Emmy asked.

"I'm just checking something," he replied.

I felt a little intimidated by the man towering over me. I felt more nervous though because I didn't know what he was going to do. I know he wouldn't make me do anything drastic, and even if I say 'no' that would be rude of me. So I used my arm strength to push myself up into standing position.

"Turn to the side," he commanded.

I did as he said and turned to the side. I felt Jonathan's fingers on the place I said hurt the most. I let out a little gasp at the touch.

"Don't worry Judai," he said calmly, "I'm a doctor I deal with this stuff all the time."

"Dad what are you going to do?" Johan asked, half way off the couch.

Jonathan didn't respond to Johan's question either. Instead and pressed down on my sweet spot. I gave out a painful scream as he applied more pressure to it. I felt tears brim on the side of my eyes, this was extremely painful.

"Jonathan, stop!!" Emmy yelled.

"Yeah Dad! You're hurting him!" Johan yelled too.

Jonathan pulled his fingers from my skin. I felt relieved when the pain started to go away. Johan's dad turned to Emmy, his face serious, "We need to go to the hospital."

"What?!" Emmy shouted, "Why?!"

"His tailbone might be broken."

X-X-X-X-X

Emmy, Jonathan, JoJo, Johan and me all piled into the Mustang and made our way to the hospital to go get x-rays of my tailbone.

I was shocked that it was even possible for my tailbone to be broken. I mean it hurt but I never would have guessed it would be that serious. More than that, it made me sick to know that Giese was the one who broken it.

JoJo and Johan kept asking me if I was okay, and I just keep saying I was fine and there was nothing to worry about. But I wasn't fine at all.

After a few minutes of riding in the car with the same questions being thrown at you, we got to the hospital. We pulled up to the fire lane since it was closest to the front door. Johan let me ride on his back when we got out of the car. Jonathan drove way to go park the car somewhere.

All four of us walked through the automatic doors to the front desk.

Emmy was all in a panic so she was out of breath all the time when she was talking, "I-I…have a boy here…who might have a broken tailbone."

The front desk woman pulled out a piece of paper and a pen and started to ask Emmy all these questions about my personal information.

"Are you the boy's mother?"

"No I am not."

"I'm sorry we need a parent or legal guardian to be with him to let him into a room."

"You don't understand," Emmy said, "His _tailbone _is broken."

"Sorry ma'am but you can't go in."

That's the one time I saw Emmy get so angry. Man she ripped that front desk lady a new one.

"Listen here!" she screamed, pointing her finger in the lady's face, "I have a boy that is in major pain! He has a broken tailbone and I'll be damned if you don't let us in! If you don't I swear to the holy Jesus above I will sue your asses so bad you'll be pushing a shopping cart within a few weeks!" Emmy slammed her hand on the desk, "Now let us in!"

In a state of shock the lady said, "Um…okay ma'am. You can go back right now since there aren't much people waiting."

"Thank you!" She snapped.

Jonathan ran into the hospital and up to us, "So are we going in?"

"Yes!" Emmy yelled.

A few seconds later a man came out with those little hospital uniforms patients wear. He told me to go and change into it so I had Johan carry me to the changing rooms a hallway down. He set me down and let me change into the musty uniform in the small changing room.

When I got out I had Johan carry me back to the front desk where a nurse was waiting with a clipboard in her hand. She gave me a smile and said she was going to be the one giving me the x-rays.

"I'm sorry but no visitors beyond this point, you'll need to wait in the waiting room." She said.

Johan gave a weary look at me as he gently set me down on the floor. I looked at all of them, feeling horrible that I had to put them all through this. I mean they didn't even have to do any of this shit, but they are doing it anyway. I'm just ruining their evening.

"Follow me," the nurse said sweetly. I limped behind the nurse though the double doors. I gave one last glance at Johan before the doors closed.

Now I was all on my own.

The nurse grabbed a wheelchair in the corner of the hallway and rolled it over to me. I held onto the arms of the chair and carefully set myself down on it. The nurse then pushed my wheelchair down the pure white hallways to the x-ray room.

We finally got to the room at the end of the long hallway. The nurse rolled my wheelchair into the barely lit room with this big machine in front of me. There were two other nurses in there too behind this booth with a computer beside them, which gives them the x-ray pictures.

I slowly pulled myself out of the chair and awaited instructions from the nurses.

One of the nurses yelled from in the booth, "Okay sweetie, stand on the 'X' in the middle of the floor."

I did as I was told and walked over to the 'X' that was made with tape and stood there.

Another nurse told me to hold onto this bar that was a little bit above my head. So I gripped the bar and watched as the nurse used this weird equipment that makes a giant cross along my back with the center point of it were my tailbone is.

"Okay, now relax," she said softly, "I'm going to take your x-ray now."

I couldn't really relax when you know your boyfriend's family had to go out of their way to bring you here and your mom doesn't even know that you're at the hospital in the first place. But I tried to relax the best I could.

I saw the first flash of the camera taking pictures of me. There was three more flashes and they had me move three different angles for them.

They were finally done with taking my x-rays after about five minutes. They told me it would take them about fifteen minutes to get the pictures printed of my tailbone. They said they had this new system or what not that gets results faster. I don't know, I wasn't paying attention.

I got back in my wheelchair since the nurse said that they were going to give me my own room for me to wait in and relax.

The nurse rolled me in that wheelchair for what seemed like hours until we finally got to a room on the third floor that over looked the highway in front of the hospital. She helped me get settled in my bed and made sure I was comfortable.

"I'm going to go get your family real quick." She said before shutting the door.

They aren't my family but they sure do feel like it. Emmy is more than a mother than my mom and Jonathan is more than a father than my dad.

I sat there in the plain and boring room in deafening silence. It was like one of those paded rooms that you put insane people in with the stray jackets. I was about ready to go crazy. Well, until the door opened and Johan, JoJo, Emmy and Jonathan came walking in.

Emmy came over to me crying her eyes out, "Oh honey, I was so worried about you!" she sobbed as she hugged me.

I hugged Emmy back, "It's okay." I said calmly.

Emmy let go of the embrace and went to go sit in the corner where a chair was. Jonathan sitting next to her, and JoJo sitting in her stepmother's lap. Johan was sitting on the hospital bed next to me, holding my hand so tight it was going numb.

I hung my head low and whispered, "I'm sorry."

"Why are you sorry?" Johan asked in a shocked voice, "You're the one who's hurt!"

"If it wasn't for me, all of you wouldn't have to be here worrying about me." I said solemnly.

"Oh God don't say that Judai," Emmy said, her eyes puffy from crying.

"But it's true."

"Judai," Jonathan sighed, "you're hurt, it's not like we're going to ignore it. So don't say it's your fault when it's mine for saying something about it."

I didn't say anything for a while. I clenched the bed sheets, twisting my fingers into them. This isn't mine or Jonathan's fault, it's Giese's. Everything is his fault. If it wasn't for him, I wouldn't be in pain and we wouldn't be here. Damn him…!

The door squeaked opened and we all turned to face it. A doctor in a white coat walked into the room with a manila folder in his hands. He was an old man with glasses. His hair as white as snow.

The doctor looked over at Jonathan and smiled, "Dr. Andersen, what a pleasure to see a great surgeon like you here."

Jonathan stood up and shook the doctor's hand, "Thank you very much Doctor."

The doctor let go of his grip on Jonathan's hand. He pulled up his manila folder and opened it to reveal four x-ray images.

"Okay," the old man hummed, "So this is for a Judai Yuki, correct?"

I raised my hand so he knew I was there.

"Well let's cut to the chase shall me?" He said, going over to the wall and turning out all the lights in the room. He walked over to a giant board on the wall. He turned a switch on it and a bright light shined from it. It kind of hurt my eyes for a few seconds.

The doctor took the x-rays and placed them on the board and they stuck there. We all looked closely at the different pictures of my tailbone.

The old doctor hummed then said, "Well Judai my boy, your tailbone is defiantly broken."

Oh just fricken peachy!

The doctor pointed to my bone on the picture and began explaining, "See this giant crack along the bone?" We all nodded. "That is your tailbone and this crack shows us that your taildone is broken."

This is just great. Tonight was suppose to be a nice night with Johan and his family. Instead, I'm stuck here in this run down hospital to find out my tailbone is broken from Giese beating me. This couldn't be any better.

The doctor then cleared his throat and started speaking again, "We also found something else in the x-rays that you might want to hear."

X-X-X-X-X

Kikuchan: What does the doctor know?

Judai: Will I finally tell johan about the beatings?

Kikuchan: you will find out if you...

Judai: REVIEW!!

Kikuchan: we reheared that for three hours can you believe that?

Judai: And it was done PERFECTLY!

Kikuchan: very true, very true...

review! NOW!! no wait, sry for yelling, i mean, please review -smiles- ...now :)


	13. A Good Snitch Is a Dead Snitch

**READ THIS BEFORE YOU EVEN START THIS CHAPTER! IT'S IMPORTANT! I've got a new idea for a spiritshipping story and it's totally different :D I need u guys to tell me if u want me to begin writing this story.**

**Okay here's basically the deal is for this story it takes place in the past like 1940's. kind of like the romantic movies like The Notebook, and the Titanic, Gone with the Wind, you know. When men were men! lol. I came up with this BECAUSE i basically watched all these movies and it inspired me! okay so the summary is this:**

_Johan Andersen in a young man living Europe who works all week as a construction worker for the union. He has barely any money and living with three of his friends, Asuka, Fubuki, and Manjyome. He is known well in his town and with the ladies. Even though Johan has been with a lot of them he has yet to find true love. One day while at his job he spots a boy that he has never seen in his town before. To his surprise he finds the brunette very attrative, not like any of the girls he had been with. Will this boy just be a simple passer Johan wishes he could have? Or will Johan decide he can't just have that good looking of a person go by without knowing who he is...or maybe him be his next lover?_

**Tell me what you guys think in your reviews! If yal like it, i'll start it! Thank you very much!**

**Also, thank you for all your wonderful reviews! I got so many and I just want to thank all of you because you gave me over 30 reviews and that is SO AWESOME!!**

**So enjoy this chapter, you deserve it!**

X-X-X-X-X

"W-What did you find?" Emmy asked nervously while clinging to her husband.

The doctor pointed back at the x-rays, "Right along his upper thigh and around his tailbone, we found severe bruising. Probably one of the worse we've seen." The doctor looked over at me, sitting in the hospital bed, having a worried expression on my face. Soon the old man changed his gaze back to Jonathan and Emmy, "I've seen these types of injuries before, they are quite common in kids who are…"

The doctor stopped in his sentence, like it would kill him to finish the rest of it.

This got me more worried than I already was. Especially when the doctor was giving me glances in this awkward silence. More than that, he made a motion with his finger to Emmy and Jonathan for them to come closer.

They both leaned forward, intrigued by what the doctor was going to say. The doctor cupped his hand around the side of his mouth so Johan, JoJo, and I couldn't see what he was going to say. He whispered something to the two adults and their eyes widened and gave the old man looks of disbelief.

The doctor shrugged, "I am just saying it could be a possibility. I've had a lot of kid with similar problems like that and their injuries match Judai's."

What was he talking about? What did he say to them? I grabbed Johan's hand and had a death grip on it. I knew what he told Emmy and Jonathan wasn't good at all.

Johan looked over at me. He knew at first glance I was frightened. He squeezed my hand a little to make sure I knew he was there comforting me.

Again, the doctor changed his attention to me. He walked over to me and gave me a soft look, trying to make me at ease. But I was far from relaxed.

The old man put his hand on my knee and started to speak to me in a calm voice, "Judai, I want to know how you got your injuries."

I was silent. This man had a good idea were I got my bruises from. He just wanted to hear it from me.

"Did someone do this to you?" He asked.

I tensed. Johan felt my grip on his hand tighten more than it already was. My stomach was at my throat. I couldn't do this anymore. I want to tell, I have too.

I opened my mouth to speak but I quickly closed it shut when Giese's face crossed through my mind. I can't do this…he'll do something. But I have to tell, I can't keep living in this Hell. I can't!

_You tell them, and you'll see what happens._

I knew Giese didn't say that to me but I could tell that's what he was thinking. He'll beat me again, or maybe he'll do something worse.

"Judai," the doctor said calmly, "you can tell me."

But I still stayed silent.

"If something is going on Judai, you have to tell me," he said with a sternness in his voice.

No use, my lips were sealed shut and I was not planning on opening them.

The doctor finally gave up on me after about five minutes of silence. He gave a sigh and took his hand off my knee. He adjusted his long white coat (whatever that's called) and walked over to the desk in the corner of the room. The old man grabbed the ope manila folder and took a pen in his pocket and started to write in it.

"I'll prescribe you some pain medication,' he said, changing the subject and took a paper out of the folder and gave it to Jonathan. He put the folder under his arm, "Ice your tailbone about two to three hours daily until the pain goes away, which will be about six weeks, maybe more. Also we'll give a special pillow called a 'doughnut'. You'll also have to use that when sitting down."

"Anything else?" Emmy asked.

The doctor shook his head, "Nope, just make sure his mother knows what to-"

The doctor was interrupted in his sentence when a nurse opened the door. She looked around the room then up at the old man, "Doctor, we contacted Judai Yuki's mother like you asked and she's here right now."

"Oh good," he said, "Please let her in."

The nurse looked out into the hallway and said, "You can go in."

In no time my mother dashed into the room and when straight to me. I didn't have time to react when she wrapped her arms around me so tight I couldn't even breathe.

"I was worried sick about you!" She sobbed as she held me closer.

"I'm okay Mom," I choked out.

"Obviously you're not!" She snapped, pulling out the embrace and looking into my eyes, "Do you know how fast my heart was pounding when I got a call saying you were in the hospital?"

It's hard to imagine my mom being worried about me, since she hasn't been for the past few weeks.

My mother looked over at Jonathan and Emmy and smiled at them while wiping her eyes, "Thank you so much for bring my son here. It means so much too me."

"It's fine, really," Emmy said like she wasn't really sincere about it.

I thought that was weird. I mean Emmy is always nice to everyone and she was nice to my mother the other day when she came to pick me up. Why is she getting a little snippy?

My mom then looked over at the old doctor, "So what's wrong with Judai?" she asked.

The doctor grabbed my x-rays and held them out to my mother. As she took them he started to explain, all over again, what was wrong with me, "Well we have found out that Judai's tailbone is broken, you can tell by the crack on the bone in the picture."

My mother looked closely at the picture. I could see her hands shaking slightly. She knew good and well why my tailbone was broken and it was starting to work on her mind.

My mom swallowed the lump in her throat, "D-Do you have any clue how this was caused?" she asked. She was questioning him, wondering if I had said anything to the doctor about Giese.

The doctor shrugged, "It could be a lot of things, but your son refuses to tell us what _really _happened."

"What do you mean by 'what _really _happened?'" My mother asked, raising her eyebrow.

The old man looked over at Jonathan and Emmy and they exchanged uneasy glances. They were dead set on their theory and they were planning on getting answers. Right here and right now.

The doctor let out a sigh and sat down in the rolling chair by the desk in the corner. He folded his legs over each other, all proper and started his 'investigation', "Mrs. Yuki-"

"_Miss,_" my mother corrected.

"Miss Yuki, I do have a few questions for you and your son." The doctor said and then looked over at Johan's parents, "If you don't mind taking yourselves and your children out of the room while I have a talk with them that would be nice."

Emmy and Jonathan nodded and gave Johan and look to tell him to hurry up and get out. Johan didn't refuse since he knew this was big. He gave my hand a little squeeze before letting go and hopping off the bed. He didn't want to leave me, but he had no other choice.

I watched the whole family walk out the door into the hallway. When the door shut behind him, I had felt like I had just been locked in a prison cell. There was no way out. I was trapped.

My mom gave the doctor a confused look, "What is this all about?"

The doctor's nice expression then turned cold and serious. It was like he totally just changed personalities in the matter of a few seconds. He leaned forward in his chair, trying to get in my mom's face, "I'm going to make this a very easy question for you _Miss_Yuki."

My mom's face was full of fear and confusion. She had no idea what was going on. But she would soon learn what was happening from the doctor's very first question.

"Who is abusing your child?"

My body went completely numb and so did my mom's. I knew the doctor had his suspicions but I didn't think he would confront my mom on it! This is very bad!

"W-What are you talking about?" my mother squeaked out.

The doctor glared at her, "You know exactly what I'm talking about."

"Know I don't!" she yelled, "And personally, I think it's rude of you to have our home life come into question here on your own assumptions!"

"The boy's _ass_ is broken!" he snapped, "Then we found more in the x-rays that made me a little more suspicious!"

"Like what?" My mother asked in a snippy voice.

The doctor quickly stood up and pointed at me, "He has severe bruising on his upper thighs and his tailbone along with it being broken!" Then the old man stopped pointing at me and started to get in my mom's face, "I get a lot of patients with similar injuries and a good hand full of them have been beaten severely! Their injuries match Judai's perfectly!"

My mother then started to yell in the doctor's face, "Just because it matches doesn't mean it's true!"

"Then why doesn't your son want to talk about it?"

That stopped my mom. She snapped her mouth shut pretty quickly.

The doctor then pushed past my mom and walked over to me. He stood in front of me and gave me a sincere look. But, no matter how sincere and nice he looked, I was still scared.

"Tell me Judai," he said in a soothing voice, "You don't have to be frightened. I'm here to help."

"I-I…I don't…" I wanted to tell him so bad, but I was arguing with myself. Part of me said 'yes' the other part said 'no'. I didn't know which to listen too.

Soon my mom grabbed the old man's shoulder and pushed him out of the way to try and get to me. She glared over at the doctor who was backed against the wall, "Who the hell do you think you are? Talking to my son like that."

"Why do you have a problem with it?" The doctor asked.

"This is bullshit! I will not be questioned by the likes of you anymore! Neither will my son, you hear me?" she snapped. My mother quickly turned her back to me and kneeled down on the floor, "Hurry up and get on. I'm carrying you to the car." She said.

I didn't question her, I just slipped myself onto my mother's back and then soon she was giving me a piggyback just like Johan did. I was just glad she could even carry me. Good thing I don't weigh that much, despite what Johan says.

My mother stood up with me on her back and started to head towards the door. She didn't even bother saying anything else to the doctor. She opened the door that lead out into the hallway. Johan and his whole family were standing across the hall from my room and then all perked up when they saw my mother and me walk out.

"That child is being abused!" The doctor shouted as my mom walked out the door, "You'll be lucky if I don't call the authorities!"

My mother didn't say anything. She just slam the door shut so she didn't have to hear the doctor shouting the truth to her.

She turned to Emmy and Jonathan who were giving her dirty looks. My mother gave a smug look back, "Don't you judge me," she hissed. She waited for a response from them but when my mother realized they had nothing to say to her, she walked away.

I looked over at Johan, sitting on the hospital floor. His hair hung in his face so it covered his eyes. He looked hurt and depressed. Well, now Johan's own suspicions were confirmed and I felt like shit. I should have told him, not some doctor who was shouting it. He was probably crushed that I didn't come to him and tell him myself.

I couldn't even look at Johan anymore without having my heart break every second. So I just turned away, pretending he wasn't there.

My mom carried me out the double doors of the long hallway out into the waiting room. Then she walked out the automatic doors that lead out to the parking lot of the hospital. She walked as fast as her legs could take her to the car parked right in front of the hospital.

When she got to the car door she opened it with one hand while holding me with the other. My mother turned around and kneeled down slightly to let me get into the car. I scooted into the seat of the truck as carefully as possible. When I got comfortable my mom slammed the door shut with all her might. I flinched in response.

I felt a little nervous around my mom right now. She was pissed beyond belief and I had to deal with it. The slightest comment could send her over the edge.

My mom opened the door on the driver's side and jumped in. Like before, she slammed the door shut. My mom let out a deep breath to try and calm herself down but it didn't help at all. She was still and quiet as a church mouse for a long time.

After a few moments of complete silence I heard little sobs and chokes coming from my mother. I hung my head as my mother started to break down beside me. She lowered her forehead so it hit the steering wheel of car and started crying. I just sat there both listening and watching.

I felt a hand on my knee and I already knew it was my mom's. She held it as tight as she could and started to speak to me, "I'm so sorry," she whispered, "I'm so sorry Judai."

"It's okay," I lied.

"No," she said while shaking her head on the steering wheel, "it's not okay."

I looked away from her, not wanting to tell her she was right. I didn't want to do that to her.

My mom gave my knee a squeeze, "It's okay…if you hate me."

My eyes widened a little. I was surprised to hear this coming from my mom. I actually turned to face her, "I don't hate you!" I protested.

She gave a hurt smile, "Yes you do. Don't lie to me Judai."

I shut my mouth. No use in lying to her when she already knows. I didn't _hate _her…did I? I'm so confused on my emotions. I've said to myself I've hated her so much for divorcing Dad and now being engaged to Giese. But now I'm telling her that's all okay. It's not okay, but I don't really hate her, I think.

"I'd hate me too," she started, "after what I've put you through."

"It's not just you." I said.

My mom disagreed. She shook her head, "I'm the one who wanted the divorce from your Dad. I'm the one who is marrying Giese who you don't even like."

"Then why marry him?" I asked, my voice starting to get irritated.

My mom wiped away the tears from her eyes, "I love him Judai. I really do. He treats me so much better than your father did."

Now she's sounding just plain selfish. Yeah, the guy treats her nice but what about me? "He broke my tailbone mom!" I yelled.

"I know! I know!" She sobbed, "But he's just trying to raise you sweetheart and the only way he knows how is by the way he did it the other day! He just wants the best for you!"

From the last few comments I could tell my mom knew _nothing._ She was completely oblivious, or she was just so deep in Giese's trap she didn't know what was what.

"That man is an evil, manipulative person Mom! Why can't you see that?" I asked in desperation.

"He seems evil to you but he was just disciplining you! You have to understand that!" she cried.

"That's not it," I mumbled.

"Then what?" my mother asked leaning in closer to me.

"He stole you away from Dad!"

My mom stilled her head, confused, "What do you mean by that?" she asked.

My bottled up angry started to spill and take control when I started to shout at my mom, "He told me everything! He told me how you were messing around behind Dad's back! How you divorced Dad because he didn't fit your standards! What is worth it mom?! Was it worth it to be with that fucking life-destroyer?!"

My mom's jaw dropped, "H-He told you all of that?"

"Yeah!" I hollered, "And you know what?! I don't care how badly Dad didn't love you; he would never _ever _lay a finger on me!" Other than that night when he scared me out of wits when he tried to back into me with his car, but I ignored that right now, "You put your needs in front of my own, twice may I add! You divorced Dad and now you're marrying Giese who beat the shit out of me so bad he broke my tailbone!" I took a deep, shaky breath and clenched my fist together, now trying to calm myself.

My mom just sat there, not saying anything. She didn't know what to say because she knew that everything I said was true, and it hit her hard.

"Judai…" she whispered and went to got touch my shoulder but before she could I shouted at her.

"Just start the car and take me home!"

She pulled her hand away and put it to her lip. She stayed like that for a few moments before taking the car key out of her pants pocket and starting the car. She stepped on the gas petal and drove out the hospital parking lot.

We got on the highway that lead back to our house. I sat in the passenger's seat and watch the cars go by as my mother and I sat in complete silence the whole way back. I wasn't even thinking about the argument we just had. My mind was blank and in a different world.

After ten minutes of driving I felt the truck come to a stop. I looked around to see it wasn't our house. It was a gas station. I looked over at my mom for the first time since we left the hospital, "Why are we here?"

"I'm going to get gas for work tomorrow." She said while climbing out of the truck and shutting the door.

"Whatever," I mumbled to myself. I put my elbow against the car window and rested my head on my hand. I went to go put my feet up on the dash board when they hit something below. I glanced down, curious of what I'd just hit. All I saw was a duffel bag. I didn't think anything of it until I realized it was my mom's work duffel bag.

I took my elbow off the window and looked at the bag curiously. I reached down to grab the black bag. I stopped when I realized my mom was right next to the car pumping gas. She would surely see me rummaging through her stuff so I slowly ducked out of her view while she wasn't looking. I grabbed a hold of the bag and unzipped it quickly.

Maybe I could find out some clues to where my mom works from what's in here. So I slowly opened the bag to see what was inside it. I reached in and pulled out the first thing I touched, but soon regretted it because what I found was no what I was expecting _at all_. To my utter shock and embarrassment I was holding a pink, see-through launderette panties in front of me with a blush across my face, "What the Hell?" I squeaked.

I quickly threw them back in and searched through the duffel bag some more. I grabbed something else and pulled it out. There was sparkly red bra that was very revealing. My face turned redder and redder by the second. What kind of sick job was my mom working at?!

I was afraid to search through the bag some more but then I saw some business cards in the bottom of all the launderette. I quickly stuck my hand in the duffel bag and pulled out the white and red little business cards. I squinted in trying to read the gold cursive writing on it.

"Cherry's Dancing Bar," I read out loud. When I realized what I had just spoken out loud I let out a scream. I looked outside and realized my mom had gone into the gas station to pay for the gas she'd pumped, thank God too. I rubbed my face with my hands, trying to get mental pictures out of my head.

"My mom is a stripper. My mom is a stripper. Holy shit my mom is a stripper!"

I saw that my mom was coming out of the gas station and I quickly threw the business cards back in the duffel bag and zipped it up. Then I put my elbow on my window like before and rested my head on my hand, like nothing had happen.

My mom opened the car door and got inside. She gave me a look like she was going to say something to me but soon she shook her head and started to car. Even though my mom couldn't see it, my face was shocked, mortified, disgusted, and just plain embarrassed all at the same time. In my mind I was crying and thinking of all those times she was at her 'job' she was taking off her clothes for nasty old men!

I almost puked at the images. Then I thought of it more and then all the pieces started to fit into place. The whacked out hours, coming home late, having the smell of alcohol and cheap perfume on, being drunk, and all the cash she gets in one days work.

Oh this is too much for my maturing brain to take!

A few minutes later we pulled up in our driveway. My mom stopped the car in front of the garage and turned off the truck's engine. She glanced over at me and looked at me up and down, "Can you get into the house on your own? Or do you need my help?"

"That's okay!" I said I little too quickly and a little too loudly. I opened the car down and slid down off the chair so my feet touched the ground. When I got comfortable I put on all my body weight. I took a step and gave a big lump from not walking in so long and my ass really hurt. I grabbed onto the door of the car, ready to shut it but my mom stopped me.

"I'm going to go run so errands and pick you up some Tylenol for your pain. I'll be back in an hour." She explained.

I nodded, "Okay."

"Go lay on the couch and ice your tailbone," she said.

"Okay, okay!" I said annoyed, "See ya later." I closed the door shut and limped my way up the steps to the front door. I watched as my mom backed out of the driveway and drove down the road. When I knew she was out of sight I limped the rest of the way to the front door. I pulled open the door and walked into the cool house. I felt so nice.

After soaking in the cold air conditioning, I made my way up the steps, to the living room and got on the couch as easy as possible without killing my ass.

I laid on the couch on my stomach, not really bothering to ice my tailbone. I'd do that later. Right now I just wanted to rest from my little trip to the hospital.

So I just sat there in the silence of my house, staring off into space. I just couldn't believe my mom. I just couldn't believe how stupid she was! How stupid, how selfish, how oblivious, how dumb, idiotic, unbelievable, and any other word in the dictionary that I can't think of right now. She just…urgh!

I took the pillow that was next to me and I chucked it in a random direction. I let out a frustrated groan and covered my head with my arms. I let out a much needed scream into the cushioned couch and started pounding on it with my fist.

I just need to go to sleep. Just sleep it all off. Maybe I'll feel better when I wake up. Or good chances are I won't but I was tired anyway so I'll just close my eyes and rest for awhile.

So I slowly shut my eyes and let my body relax. It didn't take long for me to go into a deep slumber.

X-X-X-X-X

I'm guessing it was only about an hour later when I came out of my sleep. I woke up not from a noise and not from my mom coming home, but I felt like someone was watching me. I even felt it while I was in my slumber that there was a presents near me.

I was starting to get nervous. I didn't know if someone was in the house but it sure did feel like it. It wasn't my mom, that's for sure.

I cracked open one of my eyes and tried to see through my blurry vision. I glanced around the living room to see if anyone was there and out of the corner of my eye, I saw a figure sitting on the other couch. I almost let out a scream but I bit my lip trying to hold it back.

Oh God someone was in my house!

I opened my eye more so I good get a better look at the person's face. I looked closely to see that the person that was sitting on my couch was…

Giese?!

Now I didn't hold back my scream. I screamed and pushed myself up on my knees but that was as far as I got before I wave a pain shot through my body. I winced and caught myself before I felt back on my tailbone.

I stared at Giese while letting out heavy breathes from being so startled. Giese didn't give me the usually smirk but just sat there as stern as I've ever seen him. His legs sprawled out and his arms folded across his chest. Finally I squeaked out

"W-What are you doing here?!"

He shrugged, "You tell me."

Like I would know! He has no business with me or my mom. So why is he here?

After a good two minutes Giese finally spoke up, "So…how's your tailbone?" he asked suddenly.

That gave me my answer right there. My eyes widened, "H-How did you find out?"

"Your mom called me."

Oh God damn you mom! As if you couldn't piss me off anymore, you go and tell Giese about me going to the hospital! Does she not know that this man will come over and confront me about it? Now I'm in deep shit!

Giese leaned back against the couch and propped his feet up on the coffee table, "I'm not really happy Judai. Not happy at all."

"I didn't tell them!" I blurted out.

"But you were thinking about it, weren't you?" he questioned.

I gulped down the lump in my throat. I hated how he could see right through me!

"Well?" he said, "Weren't you?"

I quickly shook my head, "N-No I would never-"

"Don't lie to me!" Giese snapped.

I let out a gasp and stopped dead in my sentence. I was scared; I'm not going to lie. When Giese gets angry you can't predict what he's going to do next.

Giese started to run his hands through his head furiously. He started mumbling things to himself that I couldn't hear. Then he looked up at me with those piercing eyes, "Don't you dare lie to me." He hissed, "I don't except lying."

"B-But I didn't say anything! I never would of anyway!"

Giese suddenly stood up and swung his fist around, hitting the glass vase on the coffee table. I quickly ducked out of the way and let the vase hit the wall above me. I shielded my head from the falling glass while looking up at Giese with terrified eyes.

The man gritted his teeth, "It doesn't matter if you didn't tell them! The problem is that you were thinking of it! If you're even considering that means later on you might tell someone!"

"No I wouldn't!" I protested, "I would never do that!"

"You're lying again!" he hollered.

"No I'm not!"

"Yes you are! I know you want to tell someone! I know you're debating whether to tell or not!"

He was right. Part of my mind was saying for me to tell someone, and I almost did at the doctor's office. So maybe I am lying, maybe I will tell someone.

Finally I just came out with it, "Ya okay! I want to tell someone! You happy?!" I yelled, "I wanted to tell the doctor about what you did to me! I wanted to tell Mom about what you did to me in the car last week!"

I saw Giese eyes widen, "You wouldn't dare tell her!"

Just then, an idea clicked in my head. I could blackmail him. I could threaten him with this. I could make him stop this right now. This is going to be too easy.

I let a little smirk spread across my face, "I would. I'd tell Mom and she'd send your ass packing! Then you're out on the streets."

That got him. He would dare do anything now. When I saw Giese's expression start to get worried, I thought I had won. _Thought. _The sad truth is that you can't win against Giese so easily.

Giese soon reached out and grabbed my face with a death grip and pulled me off the couch. I let out a cry of pain from the suddenly jerk forward and the pain in my tailbone started to act up.

Giese pulled my face up to his. He started to laugh nervously and put on an evil grin, "You won't tell anyone, because if you tell anyone, I _will _kill you." He let another malicious laugh, "A good snitch, is a dead snitch."

Panic started to rush over me. I was scared for my life at this point. He was serious about his threat and I was frightened that he might follow through with it.

Giese stared into my eyes for an eternity. I could feel my heart beating through my ears. What was he going to do?

Before I could react, Giese pulled me into a hungry animal-like kiss. My eyes widened to the point they could roll out of my sockets. Oh God, it's the replay of what happened before! I tired to scream for help but it was muffled by Giese's lips. I put my hands on his chest and tried to push him off but it didn't do any good.

When I started to get rambuntious Giese shoved his tongue down my throat. I gagged and saliva dripped out of the side of my mouth. I whimpered and he just roughen the kiss. The slightest hint of desperation made Giese more excited. My air supply started to thin and I couldn't breathe, but that didn't stop him.

Obviously trying to force him off wasn't working so I finally bit down as hard as I could on his tongue. The metallic taste of blood started to pour into my mouth. Giese let out agonizing screams when I almost bit through his nasty tongue.

Finally, I let go and pushed him over the coffee table while his guard was down. I limped as fast as I could to the front door, ignoring the shocks of pain running through my body. I heard Giese curse and get up to his feet. That was a signal for me to move faster.

But I wasn't fast enough.

I screamed when Giese grabbed a hand full of my hair and jerked me back. As I was falling back I saw Giese's fist coming toward me. I couldn't dodge it in time before I connected with my face.

I fell to the ground and whacked my head on the wooden floor. That's when my world started spinning. The blow had knocked all the wind out of me. I felt the blood just gush out of my nose and the taste of both mine and Giese's blood in my mouth. Then Giese jumped on me with his crushing body weight and grabbed the collar of my shirt.

He started to shake me furiously, "You fucking brat! Who the hell do you think you are?!"

I wasn't really listening since my head was ringing. The tears started to pour out of my eyes and little choke and sobs started to escape from my lips.

"You think you're so tough?!" He shouted in my face, "I'll show you who's tough!"

I came back to my senses when I saw Giese rip open my shirt, showing my bare chest.

"W-What are you doing?!" I shrieked.

He didn't even have to answer. I knew what he was doing when I felt his tongue starting to lick my chest.

I shivered at the touch, "N-No, stop! Please!" I begged.

He only responded by placing kisses up my neck and collarbone. He started to nip and suck on my neck then went back down to one of my nipples.

I twisted my eyes shut and begged him more to stop what he was doing. But he didn't listen at all. I let out a gasp when I felt Giese grab at my pants.

I snapped open my eyes and grabbed his hand, "No, not there!" I cried.

He let out a growl and slapped me across the face. I laid there in shock from the sudden hit and what was happening. He was going to…

Giese then unzipped my pants and grabbed the waistband of it. In one swift motion his pulled my pants down to my ankles. Now I was lying in front of this monster, exposed.

Giese licked his lips, "I'm going to have fun with you."

I wasn't going to bother fighting back. I knew I couldn't stop him.

Giese covered my mouth and smirked, "Going to keep you from screaming, little-"

_Smash!_

The man gave out a yell and held his head, falling to his side. I looked up, dazed, to see what had happened. My eyes widened in shock to see my mom stand above me with a broken piece of glass in her hand.

"YOU SON OF A BITCH!!" She screamed.

My mother pulled me up to her side, "Judai, pull up your pants!" She commanded.

I did what she said and quickly pulled up my pants and zipped them back up. My mom wrapped her arm around my side and helped me walk as hastily as I could.

Then Giese got up and started to plead to my mother, "Honey wait don't go!"

My mom led me out the opened front door and down the steps to the car. She turned back to see Giese dashing out the door. Swiftly, she opened the door to the car and shoved me in it. She slammed it shut and turned to Giese, pepper spray in her hand.

"Stay away you bastard!" she yelled, holding the spray to Giese.

"It's not what you think!" he yelled back while zipping up his pants.

My mom held the pepper spray closer to Giese, "You sick mother fucker!"

Giese then held out his arms, as if getting ready to hug my mom. He walked closer to her and tried to explain, "I was just talking to him!"

My mom sprayed the pepper spray in Giese's eyes. He held his eyes and let out painful screams, but my mom wasn't finished. She kicked him in the shin and punched him in the face until he fell on the ground in fetal position.

My mom didn't say anything else to him before she opened the car door and got inside. She slammed the door shut and locked it, just in case he got up and tried to open it. She started to car as fast as she could and was about to speed out of the driveway, but Giese started to pound on the window.

"Please! Let me talk!" He pleaded.

"Get away from my car!" my mom snapped.

"Just let me explain!"

"There is no explaining!"

"Please!"

"Get away!"

Giese stopped pounding on the window. He let himself slide down the side of the car and for a first, he started crying. Then he started to whack his head against the side of the door and kept saying how stupid he was.

"I'm such an idiot!"

_Whack!_

"Kill me."

_Whack!_

"Kill me!"

_Whack!_

"Kill me!!"

My mom rolled down the window and looked down at Giese in his pathetic state. "Giese…Giese…Giese!" She called out, "Stop!"

The man stopped beating his head against the car and looked up at my mom. His eyes showed he was sorry but I knew he wasn't. It was a pretty good act.

My mom took a deep, shaky breath, "Y-You better be gone…by the time I get back. Or I will call the police."

I watched from the passenger's seat, blood from my nose now covered almost half my face, as Giese's hopes of my mom saving his ass were shattered. He stared up at my mom who wasn't bothering to look back. He started his little act of pleading again, but my mom only responded by hitting the gas petal.

Giese stopped and held out his arms and kept saying 'I can explain! I can explain!' In response, my mom pushed down further on the gas and she sped out of our driveway so fast you'd think it was the Indy 500.

I couldn't help but look back at Giese standing in our driveway, yelling and pulling on his hair knowing he had just been caught in his sick act.

When we were far enough from my house that Giese couldn't find us my mom suddenly stopped the car. I held onto the seat as the car came to a screeching halt. As soon as the car was at a dead stop my mom started to pound her hands on the steering wheel furiously.

"GOD DAMMIT!!" she cried as tears rushed out of her eyes like a river.

Before I knew it my mother caught me in a tight hug. She started to run her hands through my hair as if I were a precious baby doll. She was in such hysterics that she couldn't even speak to me.

I've never seen my mom cry so hard before over me. It was weird but a little light of happiness was glowing inside me. So I started bawling and hugged my mom back just as tight as she was holding me.

Finally she started to settle down enough to actually talk to me.

"I'm a terrible mother! I'm a terrible mother!" she kept repeating.

I shook my head furiously, "No you're not!" I sobbed.

My mom held me closer and choked out, "I love you Judai! I hope you know that!"

And for the first time in quite a long time I said these words.

"I love you too Mom…"

X-X-X-X-X

Kikuchan: -starts crying and hugs Judai- I LOVE YOU TOO!!

Judai: -hugs back- ME TOO!!

Kikuchan: -blinks- really?

Judai: oh hell did I say that out loud?

Kikuchan: omg you do care!! –hugs- yay friends!

Judai: ya…friends…

Kikuchan: -wipes eyes- please review bc i know u want to!

(btw by next chapter Judai is FINALLY going to get a break from the drama because I hate making him suffer T.T)


	14. Unfitted Mother

**Oh my sweet Jesus! Everyone I am so sorry it took me so long to update! I mean I have been BUSY! Going places and doing things. I even wrote this whole story in the car because I was like "I CAN'T LET MY REVIEWERS DOWN!!" so I wrote this story in the car on my way to D.C where I currently am :D love it here! Anyway I almost got car sick writing this chapter so I hope you like it!**

**Also to answer some questions about my new story. I will write it after i get done with this story so DON'T FRET PEOPLE! it's fine :P**

**thanks to all who reviewed and enjoy the next chapter!**

X-X-X-X-X

It was three days later after the incident with Giese. Everything that had happened still haunted in my mind like it had taken place only a few minutes ago. I can't sleep, I can't eat, and I refuse to talk. It's like I'm in my own little space and I'm not coming out for nothing. My mom tries to talk to me about it but I just shrug her off and stay as silent as a church mouse.

Every time I try to fall asleep I'm haunted by nightmares. I'm always waking up in cold sweats and hearing my heart beating through my ears. I've only gotten about fourteen hours of sleep these past few days. I'm exhausted. All the time my head is bobbing up and down ready to go into a slumber but I try to keep myself awake. Fearful that if I fall asleep I'll have those horrible dreams once again.

My appetite is completely gone. My mom tries to get me to eat something but I always turn the offer down. Even the sight of food makes me nauseous. It was every day my stomach was full, like I had just ate a whole cow. Maybe it was just tension, shock, nervousness, or everything bad was twisting my stomach in knots. Whatever it was it wasn't helping me at all and wasn't making my skin look any more colorful than a pasty pale.

Talking? There was no "talking". Talking was the last thing on earth I wanted to do. Especially when it came to talking about Giese. When Giese was mentioned, you could forget about even getting a single word or noise out of me. The only way you could know what I wanted to say is if you opened up my head and looked inside my mind. If for some strange reason you could do that, you'd be bombarded with single-worded thoughts like; disgusting, uncomfortable, gross, sick, forget. You didn't even have to talk to me to know that. You'd think those very same thoughts if you just heard it on the streets.

Basically, I am in a totally state of denial. I am denying help from anyone. I am denying the people who want to help me. I am denying almost everything that is precious to me. And I didn't just come into this denial three days ago, oh no. I realize I was in this denial for a long time. I would criticize my mom for her being in the same situation when I'm exactly the same. I'm probably the biggest hypocrite in the world.

I think that I've hit rock bottom pretty hard. I knew it would happen with this divorce going on but I didn't think it would be this painful.

Now I'm finally going home after staying in a hotel for the past few days. It was a safety precaution my mom wanted to make. She was fretting about the possibility of Giese coming back and thought it would be wise if we lay low long enough for that bastard to realize we were gone. I guess three days was enough so I'm riding in the car at this very minute on the interstate heading home.

Today was such an ugly day, too. The sky was painted in different shades of gray and you could hear the rolls of thunder in the distance. I guess Mother Nature feels the same way I do because this weather couldn't fit my mood any better.

Really, the only thing good about today is that I don't have to go to school. Not that this will be a problem because today is the last day of school for summer break. So it's not really that big of a deal since a lot of my other friends were skipping too. Yeah Principal Samejima, try and question me on that you asshole!

Other than all of that trouble, everything is okay. And I mean "okay" in worse possible way.

So here I am in the car with my mother in the most silent car ride I have ever been in. I for one didn't feel any pressure to talk, but my mom on the other hand was a different story.

"So...Honey, how are you feeling?"

That was the statement of the year. That's all she has been asking me. How am I feeling? Well I feel completely used, nasty, dirty, and did I mention that I almost had my virginity taken by some creep? But I didn't say that, I just stared out the window and answered a simple, "Fine."

My mom let out a sigh, stating that she is almost done with trying to get something out of me. It's not working. Not only that, but she's kicking herself hard in the ass because she knows that all of this is mostly her fault. That's why she's been crying at night. Oh yeah, she thinks I can't hear her but I can.

Also I'm not trying to be antisocial and push my mom away since now we are finally starting to patch up or broken relationship. But it's just that I think she isn't capable of handling me telling her everything. Even though she saw it happening, she saw the beating, she saw the molesting with her own eyes, she's just not emotionally stable for me to tell her _every single_ detail. I mean she thinks that he's only done this once, but I haven't told her yet about what happened in the car. I don't think she could take it knowing that he had done something like that right under her nose.

But to be honest, I don't even want to talk about this with her anyway. Surprisingly, I want to talk about this will Johan. I really do. I know I've been crazy about not letting him know about what has been going on but after thinking about this over and over I think I should tell him. He's my first priority to helping me get through this shit.

That's why I actually changed my gaze from the outside scenery to my mom and spoke to her for the first time on my own terms, "Can you drop me off a Johan's house?"

Okay wasn't the best question my mom wanted me to ask but at least I'm talking.

"Um...okay. Is he even home?" She asked.

"Yeah, he told me he was skipping a while ago."

"Well, okay then."

I knew my mom wanted me to continue on in some form of conversation with her but I really wasn't up to it. So I went back to staring out the window and being as silent as I was before.

Once again we were drowning in complete silence. The only thing that was making noise was the rain hitting the windshield. I heard my mom scooting around in her car seat, antsy in the awkward quietness of the car. This was just eating her up in the inside. She wants me to show a sign that I'm okay or starting to feel a tad better but you know something. It doesn't take three days to get over something this big.

There hasn't been a moment when I've thought about what might have happened if my mom hadn't come when she did. I knew for sure that I would no longer have the innocence a kid my age should have, that was obvious. But I knew that if my mom hadn't have caught him in his act, he would still be doing that to me. I'd be his own little pet in his sick pleasures. Not only that, beatings would continue.

Thinking about it now made me squirm in my seat.

It would be like in my nightmares. I'd watch in fear as Giese would crawl up on the bed. He'd crawl like a spider with that evil smirk on his face. When I'd look in his eyes I'd see the devil staring back at me. I hated that it seemed so real and how I could feel all of it like it was actually happening. Always having to wake up, drenched in sweat as I pulled the covers off my body to see if anything was really there.

Even thinking about that was making me go paler than I already was. I rubbed my hands all over my face to try and make an attempt to get those thoughts out of my head. But I knew they would only be gone for the moment before they were right back in my mind again.

Now my head was clear enough for me to I realized that we were rolling up Johan's street. Then a scared and nervous feeling started to was over me. I was doubting myself, doubting if what I was about to do was right or not. Is he going to reject me and shove my ass out the door? What if he's so mad he won't even let me in to talk at all? If I tell him will he not think of me the same? Will he stop loving me?

I guess I haven't really thought this through now that I'm actually considering the possibilities. I guess there's always a little glimmer of hope that Johan will understand. I mean he can't be mad at me, it wasn't my fault.

God I'm so confused right now!

Well I guess there was no turning back now because we had already pulled up in his driveway. I gulped down the lump in my throat and had a death squeeze on the car seat. I was debating whether to step out of this car or to just stay in it and drive home.

"Aren't you going to go in?" my mom asked.

I responded by opening the car door.

I had made up my mind at the last second. Whether Johan accepts me or not at least I had the audacity to go to his house and tell him straight up.

I got out of the car and shut the door without saying a word to my mom. All she gave me a weak wave goodbye. I waved back and limped my way up to Johan's porch steps.

When I got to his front door I stared at it like I was looking into the future. Actually it kind of was my future and I was afraid to see what that future was. All I had to do was knock on that door but I couldn't even find the strength to lift my arms.

This was going to be harder than I thought.

I took a deep and calming breath. I slowly raised my shaking hand and knocked on the door. My mind was screaming at me that I was crazy for doing this, but in my heart I knew this was right.

I thought I was about ready to chew my arm off from waiting but then I heard the 'click' of the door handle being turned. I watched the door open and saw Johan standing there and what he was wearing, no, more like what he _wasn't _wearing made me flush a deep red.

There he was, standing in the door way with nothing but a towel around his waist and another towel that was on top of his head to dry his hair. (Pretend going to the door half naked is natural!) I gulped and looked up and down at his toned body. Then it hit me, I got this hot, sexy thing as _my _man. I never knew how lucky I was until today.

But, back to being serious about things.

"Judai? What are you doing here?"

I tried not to look at Johan so I could concentrate on what I was going to say, "I need to talk to you."

Johan was a little taken back by the sudden comment, "Um…O-Okay, come on in."

Before I walked into his house I glanced over at my mom, giving her the signal that she could leave. So she put her truck in gear and backed down the driveway and left for home.

I turned back to Johan and walked inside his house. He shut the door behind him and gave me a worried yet strange look.

"Are your parents home," I asked out of the blue.

"No, Dad's at work and Emmy went shopping."

"Oh then that will make it easier."

"Make what easier?" Johan asked, "What are you doing here anyway?"

I shrugged, "What, I can't come here to see my own boyfriend?"

"Well yeah you can't," he said, "but I just think it's weird that you just pop up here at my house without calling."

"I'm sorry. I won't do it again."

Johan started to give me a look that said that he was totally lost. He shook his head, "Okay then. Um…I'm going to go get dressed so you can sit down if you want."

"I want to go up in your room."

Johan gave a little blush, "Eh…well…o-okay."

Oh shit. Now he probably thinks I came over just to mess around. I blame my nerves.

"D-Do you need help up the steps?" he asked nervously.

"No," I said, walking towards the stairs, "I'll be fine."

Johan watched me in a clueless expression as I hopped my way up the stairs while hanging onto the railing. I found out that this was a better way to get up the steps than trying to take your time in trying to walk up them. When I got to the top of the stairs I headed to Johan's room with him following behind me.

I got into his room and immediately climbed into his bed. It was just so comfortable to pass up and I was just so tired I could fall asleep to air horns blowing in my ears. I was tossing and turning side to side because of how good it felt.

Johan just stood there shaking his head, "You're weird, you know that?"

I stopped rolling around and sat up on the side of my thigh, "You mean that in the most loving way right?"

Johan let out a little laugh and pulled off his towel.

I let out a yelp and covered my eyes, "Put some clothes on!"

"Who needs clothes? I'm free-balling it."

"Oh God! Just put some damn pants on!"

"Fine, fine."

I heard Johan open his closet door and start pushing hangers around, trying to find something to put on. I on the other hand really couldn't help myself, I made a little parting with my fingers so I could just take a peek of what Johan looks like naked. Don't call me a perv because you fangirls would have done the same thing! And I must say, that was the best moment of my sixteen years of life.

Johan finally found something to wear and put it on as quickly as possible while I'm shouting in my head, NO TAKE YOUR TIME!

I took my hands off my eyes to see Johan and his handsome self. He was smiling his beautiful smile at me and I couldn't help but feel sorrow knowing that his smile would soon fade when I told him why I was here. But I'm not going to ruin the moment now.

Johan had a devious look in his eyes, or maybe I'm mistaking that for lust. Whichever it was made Johan climb onto the bed and crawl slowly towards me.

I gave an awkward smile, "W-What are you doing Johan?"

Johan responded with a smirk and put his hands on both sides of my body. He was hovering over me for a few seconds before he couldn't control himself anymore and dove down to catch my lips in a passionate kiss.

I felt Johan's tongue brush against my lips asking permission to enter in my mouth. Of course I parted my lips and let him do a little exploring. He must have been longing for me as much as I longed for him because he let his tongue go all over the place, like it was the last time we'd ever kiss each other again and he wanted to make the best of it.

I didn't really put up much of a tougue fight. I just let Johan have the dominance. I actually wanted him to win so I could just enjoy the kiss. I slipped my arms around Johan's neck and pulled him closer to me, moaning into the sweet and amazing kiss.

Hearing my noise kind of got Johan excited because he parted his lips from mine, with a string of saliva still connecting us. He spared no time going to my neck, placing little butterfly kisses down my collarbone. Johan's hands were working down my body, touching and feeling under my shirt which made me arch my back slightly with a moan.

Then his hands went a little farther down.

That's when I started to panic.

Even though my eyes were open, it was like I was asleep again and my nightmares started to come back to haunt me. There was just flash after flash of Giese on top of me doing the same thing Johan is doing right now. My breath started to become sharp and my body started to go numb in fear. I watched as Giese stare down at me with those cold eyes and I screamed, swinging my fist right across his face.

As soon as I punched Giese I snapped back into reality. I gasped and looked up at Johan holding his red cheek. I felt my stomach come up to my throat, realizing what I'd just done. I watched a little drip blood run out the side of Johan's mouth. He moved his hand from his cheek to wipe off the crimson liquid from his chin. He started at the smeared line of blood on his hand in wide-eyed shock.

I moved my hand to my jaw dropped mouth, "Johan, I'm so…" my voice was in a shaky whisper.

I eyed Johan, watching his face twist into anger. He spit the remaining blood in his mouth into the trash can beside his bed. Without saying a word Johan got up from the bed and started to head out of the room.

I tried to sit up as fast as I could without hurting my tailbone. I put out my hand to reach out and stop him, "Wait! Johan, I'm sorry! I didn't know what came over me!"

Johan stopped dead in his tracks and turned on his heel to face me, "What in the Hell has been your problem lately?"

"I don't-"

"You don't call in days! I worried sick about you thinking something has happened! Then you have the audacity to come here out of the blue to talk!" Johan started to pull on his hair and pacing back and forth in frustration towards me. He did that for a few seconds before turning back at me to continue to voice his outrage, "Why all of the sudden do you want to talk, huh?! You never talked to me before about _anything_ so why now?!"

In a matter of seconds I was sobbing so hard I was trying to catch my breath to say something.

But I didn't catch my breath in time before Johan went on another rampage, "Do you know how scared I got when you showed me those bruises? Do you know how it felt to sit outside that hospital room to hear from the doctor that you might be getting abused? I heard that from a doctor Judai! Why didn't I hear it from you?"

"I w-was…scared! I was r-really scared Johan!"

"So…it is true? You've been getting beatings?"

"Yes!" I sobbed, "I'm so sorry I didn't tell you Johan!"

Johan was silent for a long time and I didn't dare look up at him. I was afraid to see the expression on his face. I was praying that he wasn't mad and hoping to God he didn't storm out because of it. But there was only quiet. The only thing that was keeping us from the borderline to complete silence was my sobbing.

"I'm a bad person, aren't I?"

Again, Johan said nothing. That basically gave me a clear answer that he agreed with me. I don't blame him though. I've made him suffer so much by all the secrets. He's worried about me so much, it must have been so hard for him. I can't say I didn't see this coming.

I heard Johan's feet shuffle on the carpet. I closed my eyes as he walked over to me. I felt him standing in front of me, towering over me. When he didn't do anything for a few seconds I opened one eye to look up at him. Was he going to do anything?

I watched as Johan reached his arms out to me. I flinched, thinking he was going to hit me but he didn't. Instead, he wrapped his arms around me and held me close to him. My eyes shot open, wide and confused. He…wasn't mad?

Johan held me tight, his body shaking.

"J-Johan, are you…crying?" I asked in complete and utter shock.

Johan ran his hand through my chocolate brown hair and said sweet things to me, "My precious Judai. My angel. My everything."

Not really knowing what was going on I just rubbed Johan's back soothingly, "Don't cry Johan. Please don't cry."

"How could I not?" Johan let go of the embrace but still held onto my shoulders. He looked me straight in the eyes with his beautiful blue ones, "It hurts me to know something like this has been happening to you. I can't stand to hear that you've been suffering this much and I couldn't do anything to help."

I softly touched Johan's face, running my fingers on his cheek, "You did help me Johan. He helped me by loving me, by letting me know you were there for me no matter what. That's more important than anything."

"But I've been a complete asshole to you!"

I let out a little chuckle, "You haven't been an asshole. You've been very sweet and kind."

"Really?"

"Yes, Johan you've helped so much."

Johan gave a crooked smile, "And I didn't even know what was going on. I guess I'm just magical."

I humored him, "Yep, you're quite the magician."

I knew this was a happy moment that I didn't want to crush, but there was one more thing I had to tell Johan. I wasn't as scared as I was before about telling him what else Giese did. I felt a lot more confident that Johan would understand. Even so, it was still going to be hard to tell him. It was so uncomfortable to talk about in the first place, it didn't matter who I was telling it to. But I had made up my mind to tell Johan and by golly I'm going to do it.

"Johan," I started, "there's something else I have to tell you."

Johan's happy face dropped into a serious look once again.

I started biting on my lip like a dog biting on a chew toy. I knew I could do this but it was harder than it seemed. "Johan…I-"

_Knock! Knock!_

"Johan?" A female voice called. I knew right away that it belonged to Emmy. She must have just gotten back from the store, "Johan, can you help me bring in the groceries?"

"Alright! Be down in a minute!"

"Well hurry up there's a shit load of 'em!" Emmy called through the door.

"Language mother, language!"

Emmy just let out a little laugh and walked back down stairs to get the grocery bags.

Johan signed, letting go of my shoulders and stood up. He gave me an uneasy smile, "You can tell me later, okay?"

I hung my head and nodded. I didn't know how much more delays I can take. I needed to tell Johan now. I wanted to get this over with. If I keep getting interrupted and I have to wait longer, it's going to eat me up inside. I don't care if it's even a few minutes. I was about ready to burst.

Johan put out his hand to help me up and without arguing I took it in my own. With one pull I was off the bed and Johan let me go after that. I was glad that he did too because I was sick of people kissing my ass and helping me everywhere I go.

We both made our way down out of the bedroom, down the hall, then down the stairs, then across the living room, and finally after our little journey, we got into the garage. Sometimes I think it's crazy how big Johan's house is. But you get a lot of exercise.

Emmy came around the car with bags on both arms. She gave a startled gasp, but soon signed and put her hand on her chest when she saw it was only me, "God Judai, I didn't know you were here. You scared me there."

"Oh sorry," I laughed while rubbing the back of my head.

"When did you get here?" she asked, turning to Johan, "You never told me he was coming over."

I put my hands up in a defending way and started to wave them around, "No, no, I just suddenly came over here. I'm sorry for not calling or anything."

Emmy looked over at me with that charming smile of hers, "Oh well it's okay honey. You're always welcome here." She suddenly turned her attention to Johan and thrust the plastic bags in his chest, "Carry," she stated.

Johan's jaw dropped in outrage. He looked up at Emmy like she was an alien, "What? You're all nice to him and make me carry groceries? That's wrong!"

Emmy still had that smile on her face, "No it's not because he's the guest. You live here. So you carry _your _food into the kitchen."

Johan groaned and took the bags from Emmy. He walked into the house grumbling something to himself.

While I was off laughing at Johan, Emmy started to talk to me.

"How are you doing Judai?" she asked.

Oh how did I know she was going to ask me that? Maybe because…everyone else does! Man, the question is getting old people! "Oh I'm fine," my typical answer to that very annoying question.

"Tailbone been treating you well?"

I chuckled, "Not really. I've been taking Tylenol and icing it like I should but it doesn't seem to get any better."

"Oh well that takes time," she said and put her hand on my shoulder, "it'll go away soon enough."

I simply responded with a nod.

Emmy opened her mouth to continue talking to me but stopped when Johan came running out of the house at full speed. He came to a screeching halt, his breathing sharp from running so fast. He had the phone tightly gripped in his hand.

"Johan?" Emmy called in a worried tone, "Baby what's wrong? Who's on the phone?"

Johan looked over to me, stretching out his arm to give me the phone, "It's your mom. She sounds like she's in a panic."

Right there my stomach had dropped. My heart started to beat rapidly as I quickly took that phone from Johan. I put the phone to my ear, "Mom?" I half yelled, "Mom what's wrong?"

"J-Judai!" she cried, "Judai, I need you to call the police for me!"

My eyes widened immensely, "What?!" I shouted, "Mom, what's going on?!"

I watched as Johan and Emmy exchanged fearful glances to each other. Meanwhile, I was starting to have a panic attack on the phone. I kept screaming at my mom to tell me what was going on.

My mom made grunts like she was lifting something that weighed a ton. I kept hearing banging in the background and my mom's cries of desperation. Through the phone I could here, "Open this damn door right now!!"

I thought I was going to be sick. I knew that voice anywhere. It was Giese's.

Snapping me out of my shocked and overwhelmed state was the sound of glass breaking through the phone. My mom screamed and started to cry hysterically.

"Mom!!"

I heard Giese's voice much clearly now, which meant that he had gotten inside the house. He yelled at my mom with incredible hate in his voice, "What did you leave me Naomi?! Why did you do that to me?!"

I heard the crack of Giese knuckles hit my mom. She let out a cry and fell hard on the ground. Before I could scream for her again she apparently dropped the phone while falling and it shattered. Now all I could here over the line were several beeps.

My skin was as pale as a ghost now. My whole body trembling in fear. I needed to get home, _now. _

"Judai," Johan called to me, "W-What happened?"

"I need to get home," I said, "I need to get home now." Before Johan could say anything I shoved the phone in his hands and was dashing out of the garage. I heard Johan call out my name before running after me in the rain. I didn't waste my time in telling him not to follow me. I couldn't stop, I had to keep running. I ran as fast as my legs would take me, letting the rain drops smack against my skin. My tailbone sent several shocks of pain through my body but I ignored it and kept on going.

Johan kept right on following me, shouting for me to stop. But I wasn't stopping for nothing. Well maybe I did when I saw Emmy speed down the street in her car. Before I could decide whether to run away from the car or just stop, thinking she was going to pick me up, she had already caught up to me and Johan.

She rolled down the window and hollered at me through the down-pouring rain, "Get in the car! I'll drive you!"

Of course I didn't object. I got in that car quicker than a rabbit jacked up on Mountain Dew. Johan got in the backseat just as quick. We both slammed our doors shut, trying to catch our breaths and me trying to get over the immense pain I was feeling.

"C-Call the p-police," I said through breaths.

Emmy didn't ask questions, she whiped out her cellphone from her pocket and dialed 911. As she was doing that she sped off in the car towards my house.

"911 what's your emergency?"

Emmy gave me the phone since she had no idea what the problem was.

"Someone has broken into my house!"

"What is your address, sir?"

I told the woman my address and she said that the police would be there soon. But we were there sooner than they were. We rolled up to my house, I saw Giese's old car in the driveway and the front window busted in. Without waiting for Emmy and Johan I burst out of the car and went running up to my house.

When I got up on the porch to the front door it was already half knocked down. So I slammed my foot on the door and it flew open. I stepped inside, looking around at the knocked over furniture and broken glass from the window and vases. But there was no sign of Mom. There wasn't a noise.

I started to panic, thinking the worst, "Mom! Mom where are you?!"

The only response I got was a crash in the kitchen. I wouldn't call it relief but I was glad to know she was still here. I dashed to the kitchen where I prayed my mom was.

I rounded the corner into the kitchen and immediately froze. I watched in horror as Giese grabbed my mom's throat with both of his hands and shoved her against the wall. My mom started choking and clawing at Giese's arms, trying to get free.

"Stop it!!" I screamed, running towards Giese and grabbing onto his sleeve, "Let her go!! Please let her go!!" Giese didn't even look at me or at least acknowledge my presence. I glanced over at my mom, seeing her eyes roll to the back of her head. My eyes widened in fear and I gritted my teeth to prevent a scream. I started to shake Giese fiercely, "You're killing her!!"

Then for the first time he looked down at me. Seeing the tears run down my face and my scared expression made him smile with joy and laugh in amusement.

His smile was so wide it showed all of his cigarette stained teeth, "You want me to let her go? Fine, I will." And just like that Giese let go of his grip on my mom's neck and let her drop to the ground. I watched my mom hold her throat where Giese had abused it and started coughing violently. She kept heaving and hacking, trying to get the air back into her lungs.

I went to go down by my mom's side to help her but Giese grabbed my shirt collar before I could and roughly yanked me backwards. My back slammed against the wall across the room, my tailbone hit the hard wall along with my back making the pain ten times worse than it already was. I started screaming from the pain and for help.

Giese quickly covered my mouth with his clammy hand, "Quiet now and be a good boy." He gave a chuckle as his knee slid in between my legs and rubbed against my private area. I closed my eyes tight, my sharp breathes and screams muffled by Giese's hand.

He soon went after my neck and started to lick it up and down, sucking on it roughly. When Giese heard a little moan through his hand he smirked and pushed harder on my pants with his knee. "That's right," he purred in my ear, "moan for me, boy."

Hearing that almost made me sick. But what made me want to die was seeing out of the corner of my eye, Emmy and Johan standing there, their faces looking disgusted. I don't know how long they had been standing there and I don't think it mattered.

Giese had seen them too and stopped what he was doing and backed away. His face actually showed he was scared. Knowing that he had been caught not only once, but twice.

Emmy had her hand to her mouth, speechless.

"Oh my God…" Johan said, his voice starting to crack, "You sick- what were you doing to Judai?!" Johan already knew the answer he just didn't want to believe it.

I could tell Giese was panicking. He was sweating and his eyes moving all around the room. He actually was panicking more than I thought because he ran out of the kitchen so fast it would make your head spin.

"Get back here you bastard!!" Johan hollered while running after him but Emmy caught him by his shoulder in time.

"Don't!" she yelled, "It'll be fine."

"No it won't! He's getting away!"

Emmy shook her head and pointed towards the window in the kitchen. Johan gave her a weird look and slowly walked towards where she was pointing. He stood on his tip-toes to see outside the window to the driveway where there were two cop cars and an ambulance.

Johan watched as a cop tackled Giese while he was trying to run away. The cop pulled Giese's hands behind his back and cuffed them up good.

Johan stood there in awe, watching the action go down in my front yard. Even I limped over to see it happening. The cops were screaming at Giese and throwing him on the hood of the car since he was struggling so much. Good, that bastard deserves it.

Another cop and a medical worker came into the kitchen while we were occupied with watching.

"Is anyone hurt?"

I knew I was alright. I already knew my tailbone was broken so no big deal. I looked over at my mom who was laying on the ground half conscious with bruises covering her arms and legs. Finger prints on her neck where Giese had strangled her.

I watched with my dull eyes as a stretcher came in and the medical workers hoisted her body onto it. It was painful to watch as she was carried away to the ambulance. I just gripped my hands tightly on the counter, staring down at Giese being throw into the cop car.

Even if Giese is thrown in jail, it wouldn't satisfy me. He had almost killed my mother and that's something no amount of jail time could ever fix.

I felt Johan's hand on my shoulder, letting me know he was there for me.

I tightened my grip on the counter until my fingers turned white. My lip started to quiver so bad it was making my chin shake too. With my head hanging low and my bangs covering my eyes, I latched myself onto Johan and sobbed silently in his chest. Johan rubbed my back without even saying a word.

Emmy was leaning against the wall with little tears slipping from her eyes. She lifted up her white sleeve to show the goosebumps and hairs standing on her arm. I knew it was from what she had just witnessed. It frightened her to no end, only because she cared about me.

After a good ten minutes, I had finally calmed down enough to say to Johan, "At least I don't have to tell you what I was going to say earlier."

"He's done that more than once, hasn't he?" Johan asked, calm as ever.

I nodded against Johan's chest and he didn't respond after that.

Soon I heard the sirens of the ambulance as it pulled out of my driveway. I quickly turned to the window to watch it drive away, knowing my mother was inside of that horrible red and white car. But I knew Emmy and Johan would take me to go see her tomorrow since I guess I'd be staying at their house tonight.

But little did I know that moment when they took my mom away in the stretcher was the last time I could see her for a while. Because the next day a cop showed up at the Andersen household telling me Social Services had declared that Naomi Yuki as an unfit mother so I was now in temporary custody of my father.

X-X-X-X-X

Kikuchan: oh BITCH!! Never saw that coming!

Judai: You wrote the story how could you not?

Kikuchan: Don't question me! I am the author…ess here! And you will BOW TO ME!!

Judai: umm no

Kikuchan: it was worth a shot I guess

Please review you know you want to!


	15. Nothing But Trash

**Hayy!! I'll start of by saying thank you to all who reviewed and that you guys got me writing and updating faster than I thought I would. Also, I tried something new this chapter. Well maybe it's "new" idk! But I tried to be a little more discriptive with my writing and tried REALLY hard to correct all little mistakes like spelling errors, stuff like that but I am determind to have a perfect chapter! Dammit!! Oh and last chapter I said I would have a "break in drama" well i'm sorry I lied but I can't resist the angst and drama. I know I'm so mean to make Judai suffer but it makes for a good story! **

**FYI! This story is starting to come to a close, maybe i'll have a few more chapters and then it will end. So as soon as this is done, my new story "Finding Love" will be released! YAY!! which is the story you all voted on if i should start so look for it when this story is done! Oh and I decided I'm not going to use Japanese names, I'm using American names and it's not going to be in Europe it will be in America!**

**Okay that being said, please enjoy the next chapter! **

X-X-X-X-X

I remember that day so clearly. It's like a mental picture burned into my brain so I will always remember it. The one day I felt at ease knowing that Giese was being held in jail right now, scared for his life in that little cell with the grime on the walls and no one there to baby him like my mom did all the time. I smiled all that day knowing Giese was squirming in fear that he would soon be sent off to prison with the big boys where things would be ten times worse than that little jail cell. Of course, this would all be possible when my mom pressed the charges against him for assault. I didn't worry about that at all. I knew she would bring him to court at the snap of her fingers.

Everything was going to be better, I thought. Everything was going to die down and be peaceful like it was before. I would sleep dreamlessly and eat until I couldn't move. Yes, that's how I pictured it and that's how I wanted it to be.

But I couldn't help but have a feeling that something bad was still to come. I didn't know when but I knew it was coming down the road. I just never would have guessed it would come soon after all this happening. I prayed that God would give me a break in all this bullshit but it seemed God had an evil eye on me. Terrible thing after terrible thing hit me right in between the eyes so I wouldn't see it coming. I like to think God would get tired of messing with me, but He was just having too much fun to pass it up.

I sat on the front porch with Emmy and Johan. We didn't talk about what happened yesterday. None of us were ready to actually discus that horrific incident, nor did I think we'd ever. Maybe when the time was right we'd sit down and have a long talk about it, but we didn't want to, not now anyway. We just focused on the good to wash out the bad.

The policeman pulling up in the driveway didn't help our process of forgetting what happened. We were laughing and having pleasant conversations. I almost couldn't belief how fast I was able to laugh again, even though they were just little chuckles. But the good mood didn't last, like always, something had to ruin my good moment. We stopped our laughs and smiles when that policeman stepped out of his patrol vehicle looking at us with a fake smile like he had only come by to check up on us.

My stomach was doing cartwheels as he walked up to the front porch, giving us a casual greeting. He had giant, pitch-black shades on that made his eyes look like bug eyes. It was like a mask to shield emotion in his eyes. To hide what he really felt behind that grin of his.

Johan was giving worried glances between me and the policeman. Emmy just sat there with her legs crossed as she sat in her chair. She had not gotten snippy with the man, gave him a smile and acted like nothing was wrong. But I could tell that she was nervous by the way she was playing with her fingers.

"Judai Yuki is staying at this residence, correct?" The policeman's voice was smooth and caring. I highly doubt that his real voice sounded like that, but in light of the situation he acted like he was a good guy.

Emmy nodded a yes. I had stood up from my chair so that the bug-eyed policeman knew who I was and who he was looking for. He tipped his hat as to greet me and I was being polite and gave a simple, "Hi."

The policeman spared no time in getting straight to the point why he dropped by. He had whipped out a piece of paper to show us his reason of being here. It was a document, an official document by Social Services themselves stating that I was to leave the Andersen household immediately to go stay at the residence of Mizumi and Grey Lee, my aunt and uncle. It had been notified that Saki Yuki, my father, was currently staying at their house.

"Wait," Emmy had called out, "why does he have to leave?"

The policeman's smile faded as he folded up the document and shoved it in his pocket. "It has been decided that Judai Yuki is now under temporary custody of his father."

I actually had to bite back a laugh because I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I was appalled by this bogus decision. Are they kidding? My dad doesn't even have a house of his own and they're going to make me stay with him? What has the law become to? Don't they do their research or background history? For Christ Sake! Not only does he not have a house but he is living with my deadly ill aunt and my hardass uncle from the States. The word "dysfunctional" comes to mind.

"Why can't he just stay here?" Emmy asked.

"I'm sorry ma'am," he tried to be sympathetic towards the situation by the tone of his voice and his frown but I didn't buy it, none of us did. "But if his mother is unable to take care of Judai, then custody goes to the father automatically."

Emmy knew I did not, under any circumstances, want go with my father just by the look on my face. She did try her damn best to persuade the cop otherwise and let me stay here where I wanted to be, but he wasn't going for it.

"The law is the law," he said.

I started to shake my head and step back away from the policeman. I had every right to run away, far away from here. But the most affective thing I could do was beg and plead for the officer to just let me stay here until my mom got better. She'll only need a few days to recover, no need in leaving. Once again, it failed. Not the pleading but apparently I was misinterpreting the current situation.

The policeman took off his shades reviling icy blue eyes. I automatically saw how much he cared about my feelings in his gaze. I could tell he could give two shits less about how I felt. But the way he spoke sounded totally different, that he just cared so much, "I'm sorry, son. I don't think you understand. You see, you aren't going to your father's because your mom's in the hospital, it's because Social Services don't think she's a good mother to you."

I took a double take on that one. My jaw dropped down to my knees and I wrinkled my brows together to show how outraged I was. I looked back and forth at Johan and Emmy and they almost looked the same. We were all dumbfounded. Well, Emmy wasn't so dumbfounded because she came back to reality and shot up from her chair in pure anger. She pointed her finger at the man, "You!" she hissed, "Who are you to tell this boy that his mother isn't a good mother?"

I knew Emmy was stepping on eggshells right now by yelling at that officer, but I was just so damn proud of her I didn't feel like stopping her. I was mentally cheering for her to tell the policeman off and make him go back into the hole that he came out of.

"Ma'am, you do know that everything you are saying is being videotaped and recorded?"

"I don't give a shit!" she hollered, "What you got a videotape in that hat of yours? You gonna report me for not agreeing with what you're saying? Well guess what! You may have a badge, a gun, and that shiny car but you're not God! You do not have the right to tell a young boy what his mom is and isn't! You got me?"

Woa…go Emmy. I've only seen her blow up once and that was when we were at the hospital. Now, this was my second time witnessing it and the second time seeing the shocked expression of her victim's face. Which was just priceless, might I add.

The officer was opening his mouth and closing it for several seconds like a fish out of water gasping for air. He wanted to say something but was trying to find the words. His blue eyes didn't seem uncaring anymore. They looked like they just realized that everything that this babbling woman had to said made sense. I actually thought I saw a little glimmer of sympathy behind those cold eyes, but maybe I was just imagining it.

The policeman finally found his voice and started to speak, "Ma'am there is no need for yelling. Now if you would be so kind as to give me the boy I won't show that videotape to the sheriff down at the station."

Emmy just gave a smirk, stating to the officer that he just didn't get it. "No sir, let me tell you something. You better turn your butt around, get into your cop car, and drive back to your station and let this poor boy be." Emmy leaned forward so her face was inches away from his, "Don't you think he's gone through enough already?" she said in a harsh whisper.

The officer backed away from Emmy so he could get some breathing room. He gave her a scowl, the first real emotion I've seen out of him, "Sorry, but like I've said before 'the law is the law' and I can't just go against it. Now you give me that boy right now or I will take him by force if necessary."

I had two options here. I could either make a mad dash to Sho and Ryo's house where no one would think of looking for me, or I would make a mad dash into the house and lock myself in Johan's room until the officer left. My mind was telling me to go for it but the big problem was my legs refused to move. Sweat started to roll down my face. Time was running out, if I wanted to run I had to do it now. But there was no chance in my legs bugging from my spot on the porch. My body was telling me it was no use in trying to out run a police officer. I would only get caught and make things harder for everyone.

While my mind and body were debating on what I should do, the officer pushed through Emmy not giving a damn anymore about what she felt. He was here to do his job and that was to get me out of here. He stomped onto the porch and up to my frozen body. The only thing that was moving was my head as I looked up at the man. A cold sweat washed over me and I started to panic. I couldn't run because he was blocking my way down the porch and I knew I couldn't run into the house fast enough before he caught me.

I was out of time and out of options. The only thing I could do was run a few steps to Johan. I hid behind him like he was a shield to protect me against a monster, the officer. I twisted my fingers into Johan's shirt, pleading him to protect me, and I knew he felt the desperation just by my body language. So he reached behind his back with one hand and grabbed onto mine to tell me he was there, and he would try his best to help.

"Get out of the way boy," the officer commanded.

Johan gulped down the lump in his throat and held onto my hand so tight that I thought he was gonna break it. He was as nervous and scared as I was. It's not everyday you have the law staring you point-blank in the face. The officer was intimidating and I don't blame Johan for being frightened.

"N-No," Johan stuttered in a weak voice which was meant to be powerful and confident but he lost those aspects of himself a long time ago. "I-I…I won't let you take Judai!"

I could see the anger boiling behind the officer's eyes. He was getting pretty sick and tired of people getting in his way and he wasn't having it anymore. He snaked his arm around Johan and grabbed the sleeve of my shirt, pulling me with all his might. I let out a yelp when I was jerked forward and stumbled out of behind Johan. Before I could shake my way out of the officer's grasp, he quickly wrapped his arm around my waist and started to drag me off the porch.

I still had a hold on Johan's hand so we were stopped short. We both held onto each other like our lives depended on it. I was screaming for Johan and he was screaming back to me. Our hands were getting slippery from the sweat on each others palms. Slowly but surely, we were slipping out of each other's grasp as the officer tugged on me to get me to let go. But I tried to hold on, oh God did I try. I held on so tight my hand was starting to go numb. How I fought the urge to cry. I didn't want to cry. I was sick of it. I didn't want to show Johan through my tears that I didn't think he could hold onto me.

But I couldn't help it. I let a single tear fall from my face and that was the last thing Johan saw before that officer yanked me roughly from his hand. It was like that tear sealed the deal.

I was still reaching out for him and shouting his name and him doing the same. I was dragged off the porch in the officer's arms, kicking and screaming like a little kid who didn't want to get his shot at the doctor's office.

"No!! Let me go!!" I wailed.

Emmy jumped off the porch and sprinted after us. The officer saw her out of the corner of his eye and swiftly opened the door to his squat car and threw me in like I was a ragged doll. He slammed the door shut before I could make a last ditched effort to escape. I crawled to the window and started to pound my balled up fist on the glass. I reached for the car handle and started to pull on it wildly but it was no use since cop cars are locked from the inside.

I could here Emmy through the window yelling at the office, "Don't you take him away!!"

The policeman couldn't take it anymore and finally exploded. He pulled out the gun from his holster put didn't point it at anyone, "Ma'am you better stop right now or this gun will be the last thing you see!" I could tell from the officer's body language and tone of voice that he had no intension of shooting anyone. It was just an empty threat to get Emmy to back off. Can't say it didn't work though because Emmy closed her mouth right up and didn't say a word.

I let my hands slide down the window in complete and utter defeat. No amount of screaming, begging, pleading, convincing, or fighting would get me out of this. I might as well give up now and save myself both the strength and the embarrassment.

When the officer knew Emmy wasn't going to give him anymore problems he put his gun back in his holster and silently got in the front of the car. I was glaring daggers at the policeman while he was in the front seat, starting the engine. I stopped with my glaring when we started to back out of the driveway and I shot up to the window again. I looked at Johan and Emmy's shocked expressions as my fingers curled up against the window in rage. I gritted my teeth together and my brown eyes were filled with anger.

When we started to drive away from Johan's house the anger got worse and worse. I was so mad I couldn't even think straight. I started to pounded my fists into the seats and bit my lip so hard it started to bleed. I was doing everything I could to vent out my rage, but even that wasn't enough. My face started to get red and I thought I could make myself better by yelling at the cop who wasn't even paying attention to me.

"It's all your fault! If you had a heart then you would have let me stay! You're nothing but a heartless bastard! An asshole that has no feelings!"

I really had no idea what I was saying. I just knew I was yelling at a cop who didn't even bother to turn my way or acknowledge my very being. But I kept on going because it made me feel a little better inside. I kept cussing and shouting. Gripping the seats as tight as I could and wailed like a seven year old, only with a bad mouth. But all through the ride he said nothing.

I kept it up for about ten more minutes until finally all the hate was emptied out of me. All that was left now was sorrow. My hands were now shaking and my eyes drooped down, having a dullness to them. My urge to cry was gone and I actually thought I'd never cry again. What more could I shed tears for? I'd already cried so much, you'd think I'd be running dry here pretty soon.

I was looking out the window at everyone passing by on the streets. They all seemed to be glaring at me when I looked at them. Maybe it was the fact I was in the back of a police car or maybe it was just the way I looked. Was I scowling at them? What was I doing to make them look at me that way? Looking at me like I'm something nasty. Is that how everyone looked at me on a regular basis? I've never really stopped to think about it.

Actually the more I thought about it the more I realize that a lot of people look at me with that face. I've seen my mom look at me that way, I've seen my dad look at me that way, Giese, a lot of the kids at school, I've even seen Johan give me that look. What was I doing? How did people see me when I looked at them? It was a question I never really thought I'd get an answer to.

We got out of the city within twenty minutes and were out on the country roads. I was glad that there wasn't anyone out here in the country to glare at you. So I felt a little bit more comfortable. I looked out the window to see nothing but green, except for a few Cherry Blossom Trees here and there. There was nothing but plains of grass and crops. It was what I liked about the country, it was so peaceful.

We were not even five minutes away from my aunt and uncle's and the uneasy feeling started to settle in on my stomach again. I was worried about what I would say to my dad. We haven't spoken at all since that incident with the car. And I really hadn't had enough time to plan out a simple conversation with him. Or at least how to look at him. Should I but on a fake smile and pretend like nothing happened? Is that really how I should deal with this? Maybe he was drunk or something and had no clue what he was doing. So drunk, maybe he forgot. I didn't know what on earth I was gonna do and time ran out when we pulled up on the long gravel driveway of Aunt Mizumi's house.

It had been so long since I've been here I almost forgot what it looked like. The house wasn't what you would call "small" but you wouldn't call it "big" neither. It was a simple house with a wrap around porch. I remember Aunt Mizumi saying to me, "I'm never gonna buy a house that doesn't have a porch on it." And God knows she's lived up to that promise with herself. She sits on that thing everyday and now it was all day since she had gotten sick. Aunt Mizumi had be diagnosed with lung cancer about five months ago. She had always smoked at least two packs of cigarrettes a day, so I wasn't surprised when my mom came to me in tears and told me about her illness that was bound to take her life very soon.

But I never would of guessed she would look as bad as she did. When the officer walked me up to the porch Aunt Mizumi was sitting there frail as a twig. She was pale, a pasty pale, maybe even white as a ghost. Her beautiful dark brown locks were now losing color and it's natural shine. There was no energy, no life, even though she had a grin on her face I knew that the fight inside her was running on empty. She sat in her rocking chair in her pajamas and chuckled.

"Well isn't this a sight for sore eyes. Never would of thought my nephew would be escorted here by the law."

The officer ignored her comment, "You know why he's here, right?" he questioned.

"Yes, yes. You can leave now."

That policeman sure got into that car of his pretty quick and sped down the driveway. I guess he got sick of me and this demented situation of mine. Or maybe he just thought we were all crazy.

I stood out there in the driveway baffled and confused. Now what? I continued to stand in the gravel and kick little pebbles up with my shoe since I didn't know what else to do. I didn't even know what to say.

"Are you gonna turn rocks all day?" Mizumi asked, "Or are you gonna come up here and greet your aunt?"

I jumped a little and made my way up the porch. Aunt Mizumi was looking at me up and down. I knew she was trying to figure out what was so wrong with me that was causing me to limp. But I just ignored her and pretended that it didn't bother me. I slowly sat down on the porch, letting one leg hang over the edge and leaned up against the wooden beam that supported the roof above. I let my leg swing back and forth and drew the other leg up to my chest and let my arm rest on my knee. While looking out to the country landscape I asked, "How are you doing, Aunt Mizu?"

She leaned back in her chair and gave a little smile, "Getting by. More importantly, how are you? I've heard that this divorce hasn't been treating you so well."

I shrugged, "It's not that bad."

"Not that bad?" Aunt Mizumi repeated with a little disbelief in her voice, "That's not what I heard."

I turned to Mizumi, my eyes a little concerned, "What did you hear?" I asked.

"I heard everything."

I felt more nervous than I already was. What did she know? What awful things did she hear from the police? What did she hear from Dad? I wanted to know what she knew but I didn't want to press her for answers.

But Aunt Mizu knows people. Knows what they're feeling even if their expression shows no emotion at all. She could tell by the look on my face, right away, that I was wanting some explanations and I knew she had a lot more to say than that bastard cop did. She sighed and looked up at the sunny sky above, "All I know is that your mama was beaten by a man named Giese. That's all they would tell me." She changed her gaze from the sky to me, "I guess you know more about this Giese person than I do."

I knew a lot about him. So much that I wanted to forget.

"Who was he?" Aunt Mizumi asked.

I looked away from her, "No one special."

"Oh really? He beats your mama to a bloody pulp and you tell me he's no one special?"

I didn't say anything. I sat there in silence, watching the beautiful country plains hoping I could find some sort of peace in them. Hoping that the course of my stay here wouldn't be as rocky as living with my mom. Hoping that God's little game with me would soon come to an end or at least a little break. I hoped for a lot of things and knew very well that half of them wouldn't come true.

Aunt Mizumi took the hint from my silence that I didn't want to talk about anything right now. So she dropped the subject as quickly as she mentioned it. She didn't really make conversation with me after that. Aunt Mizumi just let me be and let my head be cleared by the warm country breeze. She did her own thing, started sowing, which was always her hobby, and listening to the tiny radio that sat there on the table next to her rocking chair. Ever since Aunt Mizumi married Uncle Grey she's been listening to that twangy American music that always drove me crazy. I hated it, the way it sounded. But Uncle Grey said it's music that "cultures the mind and makes you learn." I just thought it was annoying.

Aunt Mizumi sure liked it though. Her raspy voice started singing those songs with as much power as she could gather up. I looked over at her and her smiling face. Looking at her made my heart drop. I thought, how could a woman that is about to face death be so happy, when I can't even muster up a simple smile? That through this whole thing I haven't been truly happy like her even when the odds were against me. I've worn a mask all this time to cover up my true feelings. I've been lying to myself all this time that everything would be better and I was as happy as I ever was. But I knew, even though I thought my lies were true, that deep down I was suffering more than I thought. Even being with Johan, the one person that I've truly loved, didn't make me feel any better.

I heard the sound of heavy work boots as they walked onto old wooden porch. I turned my head away from Aunt Mizumi to see my Uncle Grey and my father walking right behind him. Seeing my father made my stomach tie in knots. I actually thought I was gonna be sick. With my heart pounding out of my chest, I looked at my father with eyes that said I was scared as Hell. But he didn't even bother to look my way.

Uncle Grey was rubbing his head from the sound of Aunt Mizu's voice trying to sing the melody of the song playing on the radio, "You're scaring the neighbors Mizu."

Aunt Mizumi just made a waving motion with her hand as to push Uncle Grey away, "Oh you shut up old man! I'm full of spirit!"

He just shook his head while opening the screen door of the house and walked inside. My dad tried to follow him but my aunt stopped him before he could even reach the door, "Aren't you gonna say "Hi" to your son? You haven't seen him in weeks."

I saw my dad's body twitch. His hands bawled into fists and didn't even look at me when he said his half-assed greeting. Then he ran off inside like he had something important to do, but all he wanted to do was get away from me. I put out my hand and opened my mouth to say something but he was already gone. I let out my breath and slowly pulled my arm back to my side and sat there with my head hung low.

Aunt Mizumi looked back and worth from the door to me, shocked that my father had been so rude to his own son. Appalled at my dad's actions, she got up from her rocking chair but stumbled a bit in the process. Part of me couldn't believe she was getting so weak that she couldn't even stand. She walked okay though, walked as fast as those scrawny legs could take her into the house. I heard the screen door slam shut and I could help but move from my spot on the edge of the porch. I crawled over next to the door so no one could see me listening in on the conversation they were having. I leaned over to the door to listen and heard Aunt Mizumi's voice in harsh whispers.

"What the Hell? I thought as your big sister I taught you better!" Aunt Mizumi was scolding my dad like he was her child, "That is your son out there and you just blow him off like he's nothing to you?" She stopped in the middle of her rant to slap my dad upside the head, "What kind of father are you? You get out there and bond with him! Christ, it's been three weeks! Talk to the boy!" Aunt Mizumi huffed and disappeared into the house, leaving my dad standing there like a fool rubbing his head where she had hit him.

I watched him closely seeing what he would do next, but he didn't do anything. He just stood there staring off into space for the longest time. He licked his dry lips and bit down on them softly. He was deep in thought. I couldn't tell what he was thinking about or how he was feeling. His expression was blank and had no emotion to it. I wondered if he would ever move from where he stood. Without changing his posture or his facial expression he spoke, "I know your there, Judai."

I jumped a little and turned around to face my dad through the screen door. For the first time he looked over at me and I saw nothing but pain in his eyes. I was a little surprised out of all the emotions my dad could be feeling he was actually in sorrow. He turned his whole body to face me and started to walk towards the front door. I quickly scampered to my feet and backed up away from him as he came out of the house. I couldn't deny it, I was scared of my dad. I actually got to thinking that him and Giese were one in the same. That they both had tempers that could not be controlled by anyone. I kept myself alert for any sudden movement in my father. I guess I was paranoid, thinking he would hit me for no apparent reason, like Giese did. That he would beat me until I bled because he thinks that I'm a worthless child to him.

I looked up into those brown orbs. I saw my myself in them. I saw how frightened I was. I kept stepping back when my dad would step closer to me.

"Look at you, afraid of me. What child is afraid of their parent?" My dad looked down at his shaking fingers, "Oh God," he whispered, "Oh God what have I done?"

The way my dad talked was new for me. I've never seen him curse himself for something he had done. He was the type of person to never admit his faults or even acknowledge them. It was like he was a new person.

Suddenly, my dad grabbed both of my arms. He had such a tight grip on me a let out a little whimper. I could feel his hands trembling and I could see how confused he was. He shook me but not too roughly, "Why are you so afraid of me?" he kept asking. I had thought my father had finally lost his mind. He knew why I was scared, didn't he?

He let go of my arms and the blood came rushing back to them. I held onto both my arms and rubbed them to try and get the feeling back. My dad looked at me with those dazed and confused eyes. I glanced up at him as he reached out his arms. He was gonna hit me. I knew he was. He thought I didn't love him, so he was gonna force me to love him. That's just how he is. I back up against the support beam for the porch while grabbing my aching thighs that still had those ugly bruises on them that Giese gave to me. I flinched when my dad's hands got too close to me, expecting them smack me wherever he pleased.

But he didn't. He pulled back his arms and stared at me in shock. Now I was the one confused. Why wasn't he hitting me? What was he waiting for?

"Why are you flinching?" he asked, "You act like I'm gonna hit you." Isn't that what he wanted to do? He moved his eyes to my hands, still gripping my bruised thighs. Now my dad is smarter than he looks. He's also like Aunt Mizumi, how she can tell what a person is feeling by body language. So he picked up the hint and came to his own conclusion, which was right on the mark. As expected. "Oh shit." My father started to shake his head, his eyes getting wider and wider by the second as he put the pieces together, "Oh shit," his voice was starting to become shaky, "He hit you too..."

Oh no. Oh God no! He can't tell anyone! The police only know that Giese hurt Mom, not me. If my dad goes and tells then they'll hold my mom accountable for conspiracy. Not only will I never be able to go home but my mom would be at risk of going to jail.

"Dad, it's not what you-"

My dad didn't even give me time to explain before grabbing my shoulders and turned me around so my back faced him. He took my basketball shorts and pulled them up above my thigh, showing him the slowly fading bruises and the cuts that were red but the torn skin was recovering. I tried to pull away but my dad had a tight hold on legs so I didn't try to escape. For a long time he stared at my injuries. His teeth gritted shut and hands trembling.

When he let go of my legs and pants, he stood up without saying anything to me. But I wasn't going to stay silent, not this time. I begged him, I almost got on my knees and begged him, not to tell anyone about what he had just saw. I knew if he did Giese wouldn't be the only one going to jail, so would my mom. "You can't tell! Please, don't tell anyone!"

"I-I'm sorry...but I have to, Judai."

"No!" I screamed, "You can't! You have to promise me!" My dad looked down at the ground, not sure whether to listen to me or not. "Promise!" Still he said nothing. I had to be more persuasive. I had to give him better reasons to keeping this horrible secret from the authorities. "Giese is going to jail. He won't be able to do this to me again. Please Dad, I don't want Mom to get in trouble. I'll never forgive myself if she did."

My dad let out a long sigh and rubbed his hands through his brown hair, "Judai, I can't just let this go. What kind of person would I be keeping this a secret?"

"Tell anyone then I'll tell the police that you tried to run me over with the car!"

My dad shut up real quick after that. He was stone-faced and his body went stiff. I don't care what I say to make my dad angry. I was dead set on getting him to shut his mouth on this subject. My dad loosened up a bit and let out his held breath. I was confident that he would see it my way. God forbid people find out about his faults. I watched as my dad turned around and started to walk to the front door. I considered that to be a "yes" so my stomach was able to be at ease now.

Before he went into the house he said, "What I did that night...I was stupid and out of line."

My attention was caught by my father's sudden comment.

"I just wanted you to be with me so much. It eats a father up not to see his own child. So I finally snapped after a week of not seeing or talking to you and I drove to the house." He let out a sigh and shook his head, "I was such an idiot. But hearing you saying that you didn't want to come with me broke my heart Judai, it really did. So I decided to go to any extent to get you back and God knows I did."

I couldn't believe that my dad was telling me this with such a calm voice. I thought he would never want to talk about this. He would just let it go and pretend that it never happened, but he wasn't. I guess these past couple of weeks have changed my dad, changed him more than I realized.

"I don't think a simple apology will make things better but I do want you to know that I never meant to do something that scary to you. And what I said after, I was completely out of line. But I hope you can forgive this idiot of a father and things can go back to normal."

The more I thought about it the more I realize that he just sweet-talking me into shutting up to the police about what happened. He's trying to make it seem as if he's sorry and make me feel bad for ever thinking of telling anyone about what he had did. He hasn't changed, he's just as manipulative as ever. I scowled at him and folded my arms across my chest, "I doesn't matter how much you sugarcoat it! You won't trick me into thinking what you did was okay!"

My dad glanced over his shoulder at me with those dull brown eyes, "Who said I was sugarcoating? I'm just telling you why I did what I did, nothing else. I'm not trying to get you to change your mind about telling police about what happened because you have every right to tell them, just as I have every right to tell them what has been happening to you."

"W-What?" I stuttered, "You don't mean you're going to tell are you?"

"I'm sorry," he whispered, "but I couldn't look myself in the mirror every morning knowing that I'm not protecting my child. So yes, I am calling the police department." And with that he walked into the house and shut the door behind him, leaving me motionless on the porch.

I couldn't believe this. He was seriously gonna tell. He didn't care about himself, didn't care if he got in trouble. All he cared about was me. He cared about me and my safety. Damn him for suddenly giving a shit! My arms fell to my side and dangled there. My whole body fell to my knees. I stared at the wood flooring of the porch thinking, what am I gonna do know? I was scared for my mother's sake. I could never live with myself knowing that she was in danger of going to jail because I was careless. If I wasn't so careless this wouldn't have happened. If I wasn't so damn paranoid that my dad would even think of hitting me, maybe he would have never found out. It was all my fault.

I was starting to feel like I deserved everything that had happened to me. I deserved the beatings and the molesting. I was an ugly child. Ugly as a person and deserved to be punished. So my punishment was that, to fell ashamed of myself, to feel like I was worthless. To hide my bruises like they were crimes that I had committed. I realized that this wasn't God playing a game, it was him teaching me a lesson. To pay for all of my sins. For being the reason for my parents divorce, for pushing my mother away and treating her like dirt, for crushing my mom's dreams of being with a man she truly loved, and now having the law called on my mother.

I was trash. I was not worthy to be loved by anyone. I was a walking sin. A burden to everyone around me and I just want it to stop.

X-X-X-X-X

Kikuchan: aww! -glomps Judai- you're not trash!

Judai: -cries- well idk what to do!

Kikuchan: We'll help you! Right everyone? ...RIGHT?!

Crowd: YEAH!!

Kikuchan: good! now to make Judai feel better, please review!

Judai: that won't make me feel better!

Kikuchan: -covers Judai's mouth- shhh! don't you speak. You've been through enough!

Judai: -thinking- LIAR!!


	16. Sin To Be Silent When You Should Protest

**I would first like to say that the almost one month it took to update was NOT my fault. I was grounded! ever get grounded? Happened to me. Anyway I would first like to say, next chapter will most likely be my FINAL CHAPTER!**

**Crowd: WHAT?! WHY?!**

**Cuz it's done...?**

**Crowd: bullshit!**

**hey hey hey! language! anyway, so that's the deal. my new story that I no some of you have already read "Few Minutes on a Couch" yeah then I'll focus on that story. So that's about it...yep yep. oh and I want to brag that I went to the Jonas Brothers Concert a week ago, just saying...i gotta T-shirt and u didn't! ha ha ha ha ha HA! okay, sorry about that ONTO THE STORY! again sorry for the late update, throw ur tomatoes at my padre (dad in Spanish) **

**Okay well...Enjoy!**

X-X-X-X-X

Every night since I had been at my aunt and uncle's, which has been one week and three days, I would sit out on the porch and talk with Aunt Mizumi in the rocking chairs while we listen to the faint noise of the radio. We would talk about the most random of things and about stories that has happened to us in the past or what we hope for in the future. I have to say, I learned more things about Aunt Mizumi during those conversations than I did when I would just come and visit her for a few hours back when my parents were still married.

She did have some good stories to tell. I'd sit up for hours letting Aunt Mizu talk about things that had happened to her. One night she told me a very emotional story about her parents that I have never knew before. Dad never really mentioned my Grandparents and we never really went over there much, but after I heard the story, I knew why.

When Aunt Mizumi and my father were growing up with their other brothers and sisters, my Grandpa, which Aunt Mizumi referred as "the meanest son of a bitch she'd ever seen" would beat every one of his kids with belts, chains, anything he could find. Then after he was done, he'd throw them in a cramped closet for hours at a time. One time he had actually had my dad in a closet for three days after he had been caught stealing a simple candy bar from the local market. Aunt Mizumi said that their mother would never stick up for them, just simply watch.

I couldn't belief my ears when she told me this. I was like a little kid when you tell them a ghost story. My knees to my chest, my eyes wide, jaw dropped to the floor. I thought I had it bad, think about having that sort of treatment every day. Aunt Mizumi said that my Grandpa would beat them for no apparent reason. Just if he was in a bad mood he'd hit them because it relieved him of the anger boiling inside.

"What else did he do?" I asked, intrigued and in complete shock of the story my aunt was telling me.

Aunt Mizumi was hesitant on answering this question, but all she said was, "Things that none of us like to talk about." Then she'd leave it at that.

I would sit there wondering what else he could have done to her and my dad but I had so many different ideas that I couldn't narrow it down to one. Part of me felt ashamed that I thought my father had not known anything about how I felt when he saw those bruises on my thighs, but really he knew more than I did.

When Aunt Mizumi told me this story I wanted to tell her the truth behind my limping since she has asked about it so many times since I've been here, but I would always tell her a lie. When I thought the words were at the tip of my tongue, I'd swallow them back at the last second. I did want to tell her but I just couldn't. After keeping it a secret so long it's become a natural habit to not say anything. I had wondered why my father hadn't told Aunt Mizumi or Uncle Grey about the bruises but never asked. Apparently he had his own reasons.

Actually, my bruises had healed a great deal over the course of my stay. I no longer had black and blue on my thighs or on my butt anymore. My cuts now were more like little scraps and the redness on them had already faded away. My limping was slowly getting better. I took my Tylenol every few hours and iced my tailbone for two hours during the day. But I knew I still have a few more weeks before I would be healed completely.

I had hoped that I would be recovered by the time my father had called the authorities. Since that first day I'd came here my dad hasn't spoken of the police or has even mentioned calling them. I wasn't really sure if he had. I knew if he had already spoken to a policeman he would have told me. I prayed that he had changed his mind about even saying anything since he saw how desperate I was of him just sweeping this little incident under the rug. Not only that, but I know he wouldn't put my mother at risk of going to jail. He knew that was my mom and he couldn't do that to me. Again, that's what I thought, I didn't know for sure.

Sitting on the porch with Aunt Mizumi got me thinking about a lot of things. I guess it's because she knows what I'm going through and comparing her experiences to mine gets my mind thinking more than it already has. It's like she's helping me and she doesn't even know it. From talking with her I've learned so much. I asked her questions about how she felt about being beaten so brutally so it would help me over come my own.

She said this to me and I'll never forget it, "Judai, every time I looked at that belt hanging in my daddy's closet that caused me so much pain, I'd feel happy. Happy, knowing that every beating my father gave me rotted him from the inside and out because God saw his wrong doings and made his suffer slowly for the terrible things he had done."

I didn't understand this at first but as I got older I started to get her message. She was saying that God does see things and he will do something about it. It may not come at that very moment but their punishment will come in the long run.

Aunt Mizumi laughed at starry sky above, "Now my daddy is alone. He doesn't get visits from his own children in his old age. He has no wife since she had finally left him a long while ago. He doesn't see his own grandchildren because they are not allowed at his house since his kids won't let them." She let out a hurt sigh, "Now he knows how it feels to be unloved by your own family."

When she told me this I had wondered if Giese was slowly being punished by God. He is a forgiving man but He doesn't forgive the insects that harm other human beings. I'd like to think God would do the same to Giese as he did to my Grandpa. That Giese will grow old in that prison cell. That he will have no one anymore, not my mother, not anyone. So that night I prayed. I prayed good and hard for God to punish Giese for the things he had done to me. I'd never been the type of person to wish bad things upon people but I was pleading the Lord to do something, anything. I wanted Giese to feel that very fear I felt. For him to suffer until the point of complete insanity. But all I could do was hope.

So I held onto that hope for the next few days I stayed at Aunt Mizumi's until I had finally reached the two week mark without any sign of my mother. I was starting to wonder if she was ever going to come and get me, or at least call me and tell me she was okay. But the days went by and the telephone never rang. Not even a hint of her still existing. I wondered every second of the day where she was, how she was doing. I would call her but she would never answer. I could have swore that she picked up the phone one time and hung up, like she was scared to talk to me. Or maybe she just didn't want to. Maybe it was the guilt taking over her conscious.

I finally was getting tired of wondering so I asked my dad and it was our one in a few conversations we had during my stay. I had asked him if he had heard from Mom and when she was coming back.

"Your mother hasn't called," he said, "she actually was suppose to get you three days ago, but never showed up."

Hearing this didn't shock me as much as I had expected. To be honest, it didn't really seemed phased by it. "Is she ever going to come here?" I asked.

My dad hesitated in answering. He signed and looked me square in the eyes, "You're old enough for me to stop stretching the truth," he let his comment lingering the air for a while before telling me what he really thought, "I don't think your mother is coming to get you anytime soon."

I'd be lying if I said that didn't bother me. It didn't bother me, it infuriated me. It made me even more angry because that meant I would be separated from Johan longer than expected. Who knows when I'd see him again. A week? A month? What changed my anger to a deep pit of fright is that by the time I got back to Johan he would already be over me. A lot of things can change in a short amount I've time, as I've come to learn. He might get tired of waiting and go onto someone else. As much as I hated to admit it, he might have already moved on. I tried not to exploit these emotions of my face so my father could see, but when they started to spread across my face I went running from the shed back to the house.

I ran up the old wooden steps of the porch and went straight to the door, but Aunt Mizumi, who was sitting on her rocking chair as usual, stopped me from even reaching the door.

"What's your hurry?" she asked.

I quickly wiped the little tears forming in the side of my eyes with my sleeve and turned to face my aunt, but had nothing to say.

Aunt Mizumi's smile dropped into a frown, "What's wrong, Judai?"

"Nothing." I said quickly.

"Your face tells me different."

"I told you it's nothing."

"You can tell me about it."

God, why is this woman so persistent? It was starting to irritate me, "It's none of your business Aunt Mizu!" I snapped. I really didn't mean to get so angry with her but my fuse was so short it would probably take almost nothing to get me to explode. So I apologized to my aunt for raising my voice with her, "I'm just a little...frustrated."

Aunt Mizumi tapped her hand on the rocking chair next to her where I would always sit when we were about to have a big discussion. I didn't object, so I went over and sat in my usual spot with Aunt Mizumi's gaze never leaving mine. We were silent for a while, just sat there listening to the wind. I didn't know if we were going to actually talk about something or if this was a way of clearing my head. I can't say I didn't calm down though. Sitting there thinking about absolutely nothing really did drown out my bad thoughts. Then, when Aunt Mizumi thought I was relaxed enough to have a conversation, she started talking to me.

"I know these past two months haven't been the best to you. It's okay to get a little angry now and then."

I gave a little sigh, "It just all happened so fast."

"That's usually how it works," she said, "catches you off guard and your whole life changes so quickly." I would think my aunt would know a lot about how bad life can be and how it turns in a different direction in a blink of an eye. Just a few months ago she was a happy woman with hopes and dreams. She always said she wanted to watch her son, who was my cousin, get married and have babies because all she ever wanted was to spoil her grandchildren. But when she found out she had cancer, that all shattered. She won't even be alive to see her son on his wedding day. I almost cried at the thought of how awful that was.

"Aunt Mizumi..."

"Yes?"

"What...what was the first think you thought about...when you were told you had lung cancer?" I was debating whether or not I should have even brought it up by the way Aunt Mizumi went dead silent. So I quickly added in, "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to."

She was silent for a little while longer before talking to me again, "Judai, I'm not really sure if I could explain what I felt. I guess you could say I was so surprised that I didn't really know what to think. I mean when someone tells you you're dying it's a different kind of emotion you feel, that only a few people have felt before." Aunt Mizumi put her finger to her chin thoughtfully, "I guess you could say the one thing I really thought about was the future. What it would be like when I'm not around to see it."

What she said actually made some sense to me. I would think you actually had to be in her position to know the full effect of what she felt.

Aunt Mizumi turned to me with that smile on her face, "Well, now can I ask you a question?"

"Shoot."

The question she asked was an easy one, but probably the hardest to answer, "Judai, do you think I'm dieing?"

Now, I didn't know how to answer something like that. Of course I knew the truth, that she was going to die sooner or later, but I couldn't tell her that. Even though she knew better than I did what fate held for her in the near future, telling a person a truth so ugly as that was difficult. So I just lied, if you called it that. I shook my head, "No, just awfully damn sick."

Aunt Mizumi laughed, "That's a good answer!"

No, it's not a good answer, it was a lie. Something that I have become so good at.

I sat there with a pained expression on my face. I couldn't live a lie any longer. I can't go on keeping everything that has happened inside of me. I couldn't do it without losing my sanity. I just wanted to spill everything out to Aunt Mizumi, since she was the only one I could actually tell it all to and the only person who could understand. Every time I've talked to her I've felt this way and so many times I've wanted to say something, but never had the courage. I thought how she would react to what I had to say about how Giese's hands would touch me, or how he had taken his belt to my bare skin, how my mother had known about it and said nothing.

When my aunt saw the emotions on my face she suddenly became concerned. She reached over and put her hand on my knee, "Is there something you want to talk about?"

I knew this was my chance, but somehow when I went to speak nothing came out. I really didn't have to say anything because my tears said it all. These few weeks I had made a promise to myself to never cry over this again, but holding your feelings inside like that, eventually they will force themselves out. I tried to hid my tears by wiping them away but it was no use, they just kept coming out.

"Honey, what's wrong?" Aunt Mizumi asked.

I started to shake my head furiously, "I can't do this anymore! I can't go on lying to you, and Dad, and Uncle Grey!"

Aunt Mizumi looked at me with her eyes as worried as I have ever seen them, "What are you talking about?"

"I've been lying to everyone and I just can't do it anymore!" I cried.

Aunt Mizumi grabbed my arms and gave me a little shake, "Judai, calm down and tell me what's going on."

"I want to, but I can't."

"Why can't you?" she questioned.

"I just can't!" I snapped, "It's...It's just hard to say!"

"Honey," she said softly, "It's okay, you can tell me. Who is it about?"

"Giese..." I whispered. Saying that name made me want to wash my mouth out with soap.

"Your mama's boyfriend?"

I nodded, "Aunt Mizu, I'm afraid of that man." My body have a little shiver when I started to picture all those times when he had harmed me.

I felt Aunt Mizumi tense up her grip on my knee, "What do he do? Please, tell me Judai."

My lip quivered and I slowly shook my head, not saying anything. I couldn't find the words to tell her what was on my mind. It was just so uncomfortable. I've never talked about it with anyone before and I never thought it would be this hard when I finally did.

I saw Aunt Mizumi's face and neck flush a light pink before she asked her next question, "Did he ever touch you, honey?" When she saw that I didn't respond she tried again, "Has he ever messed with you?" She moved her hand from my knee and patted the spot between he legs, as though she thought I didn't quite get what she was saying so she had to show me, "Down here, has he ever messed with you down here before?"

I wiped my eyes and sat there for a few moments before mustering up the courage to nod in response. As soon as I did that Aunt Mizumi put his fingers to her mouth and drummed them against her chin. We sat there in silence for a long time, dead silent, when Aunt Mizumi finally cursed under her breath and tumbled up from her chair. Seeing her get up I quickly shot my head up to face her, "What are you going to do?"

"I'm going to go get your father and your uncle," she said while walking off the porch.

Hearing this I quickly got up from my chair and chased after her, "No! Wait, you can't tell Dad!"

"Like Hell I won't."

Aunt Mizumi stormed down the grassy hill down to the shed where my father had been, all the while me trying to convince her to stop. But she just kept on stomping her feet. I continued to shout at her until she had finally had enough of me and snatched me by the arm, "You shut your mouth right now!" she yelled with tears rolling down her cheeks. Seeing her crying made my heart sink to my stomach. I felt ashamed that I had made as happy as a person like Aunt Mizumi cry like that. So I did what she said and close my mouth and let her stomp the rest of the way to the shed with me following right behind her.

I wanted to say something to her, but I knew if I did she wasn't afraid to slap me. So I just let the fear of my father finding out the awful secret I've been hiding consume me. He had changed his mind about calling the police about the bruises, but when he finds out that there has been sexual abuse going on behind his back, there is a good chance that he will go right back to his plan on calling the authorities.

Aunt Mizumi burst through the doors of the shed to see my father there sawing wood planks for the new edition him and Uncle Grey had decided building onto the house. Just my luck, Uncle Grey was there, too, so now we don't have to go looking for him to witness what Aunt Mizumi had to say.

As soon as my father saw Aunt Mizumi crying he turned off the saw her had been using and took off his safety goggles, "Mizumi, what is it?"

Uncle Grey quickly went over to his wife and looked at her up and down, "What happened? Did you get hurt?"

"I'm fine," she said and immediately turned to my dad, "I have one question to ask you, Saki." She didn't give my dad any time to react before she shoved me in front of her, "Did you know about your boy being abused at his mother's house?"

Both Uncle Grey and my father's eyes grew wide. Uncle Grey glanced over at my dad who was frozen in his shocked state, "How did you find out?" my father asked.

"So it is true!" she hollered, "How could you?! How could you just stand around and not say anything to anyone!"

My father being my father, he quickly did whatever he could to get the limelight off of himself, "He told me he didn't want to tell anyone."

"That's a bullshit excuse! Since when do you listen to your children?! Is he the parent?!"

"No," my dad muttered.

"You should be ashamed!" Aunt Mizumi cried, "Something as serious as someone molesting your own child!"

"What?!" my father and uncle shouted. My dad looked back and forth nervously at my aunt and uncle, "He never told me that! He told me that he was beaten!"

Aunt Mizumi looked down at me, who felt no bigger than a grain of rice, "You were hit, too?" I looked away, trying to avoid being brought into the agrument even though it was about myself. Aunt Mizumi threw her arms out and let them slap against her sides, "Am I the only one here that has the common sense to tell someone about what has happened to this child?" She pointed her shaking finger at my father, "You!" she hissed, "You are no father! For you to stay silent about this, your a smuck!"

Uncle Grey went over to Aunt Mizumi to try and calm her down but it wasn't working. She was beyond the point of rage, "You and I both know how shameful it feels to be beaten and molested! How sick it was to know Daddy enjoyed it!"

"Shut up!!" My father yelled so loud you could probably here it if you were in Germany.

My jaw dropped to the floor and my eyes shot open. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. That my father had been molested, too? By his own father no less?

"You have no right to say those things in front of my son!"

"And you have no right to keep this in the dark!" Aunt Mizumi snapped back, "It's a sin to be silent when you should protest! Isn't that what you always said to me?"

"Yes, I did."

"Then why aren't you protesting?" she asked.

"I don't want to put my son's mother in jail." He said.

"Why would she go to jail? She didn't do anything!"

"She walked in on it..." I said suddenly. I couldn't believe I had said that with such ease in my voice. Was it because now that it was out in the open it was easier to talk about?

Aunt Mizumi looked at me with a look of surprise. She couldn't believe that my own mother hadn't even said anything to the police about what had happened. I mean, she was my mother, isn't that a mother's job? To protect their child from harm?

Finally, Aunt Mizumi threw up her hands in defeat, "I'm done! I've obviously gone crazy! Since when does a mother and father decide it's okay for their child to be physical and sexual abused by a complete, low-life, insignificant, fuckhead?" Aunt Mizumi gave a laugh to say she was utterly shocked by what was happening, "Saki, you really screwed up now." With that, she walked out of the shed, leaving my father, Uncle Grey, and myself in the awkward silence.

X-X-X-X-X

It was later that evening when everything went from bad to worse. Let me just started by saying that no one was talking to anyone. Aunt Mizumi wouldn't even bring herself to look at my father, let alone speak to him. It was the same for my father with Aunt Mizumi, but he had different reasons. He just felt too ashamed of himself and knew that everything Aunt Mizumi had said earlier was true. Knowing this he couldn't even talk to me either. Which didn't bother me because I didn't want to speak with him either. Then there was Uncle Grey who was just sitting on the porch hunch over like he was plotting to destroy my father, for he had not been treating him so kindly either. He didn't take kindly to people who didn't watch out for their kids. He was always a family oriented man.

So you could imagine how much tension lingered in the air that day. It was silent and filled with glares and smart remarks when they did talk to each other. It was a house filled with hate and grief and I was the cause of it. I felt terrible for causing this beautiful, sunny day to become bleak and dark. Even though Aunt Mizumi talked to me, saying how none of this was my fault, I somehow felt it was.

When the sun had went down that day, my father had started a fire out in front of the house just so he could preoccupy himself from all the drama. I went and sat by it to warm myself from the chilly air, but didn't speak to my father. I didn't even glance at him. I didn't think this was his fault when I had begged him not to tell. I was sorry to say that I thought Aunt Mizumi was wrong, my dad is a good father. He wanted to tell the police, I even told her that, but she just said he should have done it no matter what I said. But, I thought differently. I felt grateful that he hadn't told, that he was thinking about my mother's sake. I know from an adults point of view he looks like a retarded jackass and maybe he was in the general aspect of things, but I was relieved he decided not to call the authorities.

So while I was sitting by the fire with my dad, standing up and looking out into the darkness of the night, he saw headlights of a car rolling up into the driveway. Seeing the light out of the corner of my eye I couldn't help but glance up to see the white pickup truck that belonged to my mother. I jumped up from my seated position on the grounded, having a big smile spread across my face knowing I was finally going home to see Johan. I was ready to sprint towards the car, but my father held out his hand to tell me to hold on. So I waited where I was standing with the excitement washing over me when my mother stepped out of the car.

The first sight of my mother my smile dropped. She had looked so old now. She looked sick and unhealthy. Her hair was starting to lose its shine. She looked paler than Aunt Mizumi did. The only color I saw was the dark circles under her eyes that looked like she hadn't slept in days. My mother walked past my father like he didn't exist to get straight to me. With her eyes watering up she caught me in a hug and when I hugged her back I was almost disgusted with how skinny she had gotten. I actually had to double check if it had really only been two weeks since I had last seen my mom. She looked terrible.

"My baby," she whispered while holding me like I was a baby, "I've missed you so much."

"I've missed you too, Mom." I was starting to feel like a little kid so I squirmed my way out of the embrace.

She wiped her eyes and then smiled at me, "How was your stay here?" she asked.

"It was good," I lied. It was far from good.

Before my mother could say anything else, Aunt Mizumi came walking up to us with a fake smile on her face, "Why Naomi, it's been so long."

"Mizumi, you're looking great," my mother said.

My aunt laughed, "Don't lie to me. I know I look as withered as an old woman."

"You? Never! You always look beautiful!"

"There you go lying again!" Aunt Mizumi laughed again, "So what brings you here?" she asked, obviously knowing the answer.

My mother grinned and wrapped her arm around my neck, pulling me closer, "Just came to take my son home."

"That's nice. You guys haven't seen each other in weeks, I'd think you have some catching up to do."

"Actually I need to catch with him right now before we go home," my mother said, "do you mind we have our privacy?"

"No problem at all!" Aunt Mizumi exclaimed, turning to my father, "Saki, let's leave these to alone."

My father said nothing, but did as he was told. He put his hands in his pockets and started walking towards the porch with my aunt. I watched them carefully as they walked away from my mother and I, seeing the serious expression on Aunt Mizumi's face as she glanced back at us. When they went into the house my mom sighed and glanced down at me, "Judai, sit down. I need to tell you something important."

I did as my mother told me and sat down on the ground, alarmed at what she was about to tell me. She squatted down in front of me, the glimmering light of the fire reflecting against her eyes that gave a certain look of sorrow to them. She grabbed my arms gently and softly spoke to me, "Honey," she started but never finished. She looked down at the ground, wetting her dry lips and biting them roughly. I watched as the tears started to from again in her eyes and then I knew what she was about to tell me was something terrible. "Judai, I never thought Giese would have hurt you like he did," she said.

I hung my head low so I didn't have to look at my mother. I didn't want to talk about him anymore. I had already had enough of him haunting my mind the past few weeks.

"When I saw Giese doing what he did to you, I panicked. I didn't know what to do." My mom was silent for a few moments, trying to gather up the right words to say to me, but all she could come up with was, "I love Giese, I really do." This wasn't the best choice of words she could have said, but I let her go on. "He has a mental problem, Judai. I couldn't stand it if I left him for something he couldn't help."

I think Giese's "mental problem" was a bunch of bullshit. My mom's just lieing to herself now. Making up some mental condition as an excuse for what Giese had done to me. Why was she sticking up for him? She shouldn't be protecting him!

"What are you saying?" I asked.

My mom took a shaky breath and didn't dare look me in the eyes when she said this, "I didn't press charges against Giese for assault. I let him go and he's...living at the house right now."

I didn't know how to react to this. I was so baffled that I didn't know what was going on. "W-why?" I said in a raspy voice from trying to keep myself from crying, "Why would you do that?"

Soon my mom had little tears streaming down her face. She grabbed my hands and held them in her own, "I wouldn't ask you to come back with me if I knew you weren't going to be safe," she tried to convince me, "Giese said he would never hurt you again."

Giese saying he would never hurt me again was like a serial killer saying he didn't murder his victim, it just wasn't believable and never would be. I don't care how much my mom told me that Giese swore to her that he would never lay another finger on me again, I would never go back with Mom knowing that monster was there waiting for me. Because I knew that as soon as my mother was gone to work, he could do whatever he wanted and could shut me up just as easily.

My mother had the audacity to smile at me as she was talking to me about this, "So, what do you say Judai? You wanna come home with me?"

I didn't hesitant in shaking my head and telling her a stern, "No." My mother's face fell with disappointment and hung her head to the ground. She sat there like that for a while before turning her head of to me and said this as calmly as she could, "Judai, I couldn't stand it...if you hated me."

"I don't hate you," I said quietly.

"Then why won't you come back with me?"

I suddenly became very angry at my mother's stupidity. She knew why I didn't want to go back, she was just playing dumb. "I'm not going home to have the same thing done to me like before!" I exclaimed, "I won't do it!"

"He's sick, Judai!"

"A sick freak!"

"I never saw him cry the way he did when he told me how sorry he was that he had done those horrible things to you!"

Giese is a good actor, I'll give him that much. Probably while he was crying he was smirking when my mom wasn't looking. He couldn't wait for me to come back home.

"Why would you go back to someone who hurt you, too?" I asked.

My mother went completely quiet as the tears rolled down her face like a river. She knew I was right, but she just couldn't hate her Giese. The man she _claimed _had only beaten and molested me because he was either "sick" or he just loved me _so_much. When my mother did look up, but not me in the eyes, she said, "Giese and I are planning to get married a month from now. So whether you like it or not, Giese is going to be your step-father."

"He'll never be my step-father," I hissed.

"Judai...please, come home with me," she begged, "I can't live without you with me."

"You're more than welcome to visit me here at Aunt Mizumi's," I said.

"But you belong at home with your mother!" she cried.

"Not while Giese is there."

My mother glanced up at me for only a second before she started bawling his eyes out when she saw how serious I was about what I said. I admit, I couldn't stand to see my mother crying, looking pathetic right in front of me. So I assured her she was allowed to go home with Giese, I didn't care anymore, "He's good to you," I said, swallowing the sobs that were trying to escape my lips, "But, I'm sorry. I can't go with you."

"Oh God," she groaned, "What have I done?"

I didn't say anything to her, expect get up off the dirt ground and leave my mother to weep in her misery. I walked up the porch steps and through the screen door. No surprise my aunt and father had been listening in on the whole conversation since I saw them back away from the door when I came in, tears running down my face.

"Oh, Judai..." Aunt Mizumi whispered and held me close to her. My father, on the other hand, went storming out the front door to my mom who was getting up to leave. Aunt Mizumi and I stood at the front door, watching my father scream at my so-called mother, saying that she'll be lucky to ever see me again. To be honest, I didn't care whether or not my mother didn't see me in years. She had abandoned me for Giese, her own child for her lover.

My aunt ran her hands through my hair and cussed like a sailor at my mother, not caring that I was listening. When my father had been done screaming at her, he came bursting through the door with his face red from anger. But I ignored his rage, I was only focused on that white pickup truck rolling down the driveway wondering when I would ever see it again.

X-X-X-X-X

Kikuchan: 'yal didn't see THAT coming did ya?

Judai: nope, not at all

Kikuchan: wanna no y?

Judai: y?

Kikuchan: because I'm good, oh yeah, who da bomb . com? I am that's right! Whatcha gonna do now?

Judai: pretend like I didn't see that.

Kikuchan: ...u didn't like it -tears up-

Judai: oh don't cry! please!

Kikuchan: i won't cry if...you review my story!! come ppl i no ur mad about the delay so please review so I know you're still alive!


	17. Not Always A Fairy Taled Ending

**Final chapter everyone! Yes, your sad, i know. But I just wanna say this before I let you go off and read this. One, is that this is over 11,000 words, just this chapter! I wrote this chapter for three days straight! and took like three hours to correct mistakes, i hope i got all of them! Also, more importantly, thank u all who has supported me throughout this story and all of u who have reviewed and stayed with me when I wouldn't update in weeks! Thank u! Because of u this story is finally finish and i couldn't be more happy by the way this story has turned out!**

**But don't u all die off on me now! I will now be focusing on my new fiction "Few minutes on a Couch" i hope you all review it. It will be updated in the next week or so. Also, "Finding Love" is going to be made, i just don't no when. so look for it people!**

**Again, thank u and please read my other fictions, i'll be watching u! no just kidding...but seriously. **

**Anyway enjoy the Last. Chapter.**

X-X-X-X-X

Have you ever heard the saying "things get the darkest before dawn"? Well, from the very beginning I had thought that the darkness was going to consume me forever, that I would never find the light that would guide me out of the blackness. But, I would like to think that the dawn was slowly rising upon the horizon for me. That I would get a break from the cruel world I had lived in and feel the warmth of the sunshine. For the longest time I had wondered what that sun would be.

Two days after my mother had left, I was probably the most depressed I had ever felt in my whole life. For Naomi to ditch me for her husband-to-be who had caused me so much pain, she was nothing to me now. She was dead in water, floating away from me, and I wasn't going to go swimming after her.

She had called me at least a dozen times in that few days period. But, my dad would always answer the phone since he knew I had no desire to speak to her. I knew when he was talking to Naomi because he would always pick up and said, "What do you want?"

I could hear her sobs through the phone even though I was all the way in the living room. She continued to harass my father to let her talk to me, but he made it clear to her that I wasn't going to talk to her for a long while, maybe I never would again. No, I would talk to her sooner or later, but that was a long, long way down the road. Right now, I hated her.

I had told that to Aunt Mizumi, how much I despised her. How I wished she would just die. I knew no one would miss her.

"Now don't say that," she told me, "you'll learn to forgive her."

"How could I love someone who is so self-centered?" I asked.

Aunt Mizumi sighed, "Judai, a mother should never have to choose between her children and her husband."

"Well she had to," I said, "and she chose Giese."

"You know what I've learned about this Giese person," she said.

I turned me head to face her, "What?"

"I think he wants to be your mama's baby more than her lover. Like your mama is his mama, and that's why she had decided to let him back into her life." Aunt Mizumi continued, "She thought she had to be a mother to Giese as well. I'm not giving her excuses for what she has done, I'm just telling you what I think was going on in her head."

It made sense. My mother had felt like she had to be a mother to both Giese and I. When Giese is a grown man and can take care of himself, but my mother didn't see that. She only saw that poor, puppy dog act Giese would put on for her so she would fall into codling him. But, she should know better.

"It looks like your mama's got some growing up to do."

By the time my mother grew up she'd already be dead. She will never understand what she has done. The pain she has caused this family. "It's all her fault."

"No, it's not," Aunt Mizumi said.

"Well it's certainly not Dad's, now is it?" I snipped at her.

"Don't put this all on your mother," she said, "Your father is to blame, too. It's both their responsibility."

Whoever was to blame here it would be that animal that is probably at my house right now just hamming it up for my mother. Saying how he's sorry and how he'll make it all up to her. Sweet talking her, convincing her to stay with him. But, behind the song and dance he's just hoping he can get his hands on me.

"Dad didn't even do anything wrong."

"He's done a lot of things wrong," she said.

"Like what?" I questioned harshly.

"He tried to hide the truth about what had happened to you."

"He hid that because I asked him to!" I shouted. She didn't understand what Dad was trying to do for me. He knew how I felt and actually gave a shit.

Aunt Mizumi let out an amused laugh, "Like that matters? You're just a kid, he's a parent. He knows what's right and what's wrong and him hiding it is the lowest of the low."

My fist clenched tightly together, "You don't understand…" I said through gritted teeth.

"_I _don't understand?" Aunt Mizumi asked, completely outraged, "Judai, I've been in your shoes. I know what you're feeling right now. Yeah, your dad might seem like a hero to you, but in the eyes of an average adult he's nothing but a schmuck."

I didn't argue with that. It was true.

"Now don't you go around acting like me or your daddy doesn't know anything because we do. We grew up like that and I only wish I had a parent that cared enough to say something."

"But…I didn't want Naomi to get into trouble."

"I understand that, too," Aunt Mizumi said, put her palm on my knee, "But you can't go on keeping something that big inside. If you didn't tell me about Giese when you did, you'd be back with your momma right now with that…man."

"Yeah, well, now I don't even know when I'm going to see Naomi again!" I stood up from the floor of the porch and started flying my arms around in exasperation while I spoke my thoughts, "I may hate her, but she's still with that bastard and I don't want her getting hurt again! What if he gets out of control and accidentally kills her?" I shivered at the thought, "I'll be without a mother! I don't want that no matter how much I dislike her! I have so many things to ask her about"-more like yell about-"and what good will that do if she's dead?"

"Well…maybe you should let your father call the police if you're so concern."

"Then what good will she be in prison?" I asked, "Conspiracy is her downfall!"

"Then that's her problem, not yours."

"But I feel like it is!" I slumped back onto the porch, "Why does this have to be so difficult?" I asked, groaning all the while.

"If your mother would have said something, then this wouldn't have happened," she said, "She has no one to blame but herself if she whines up behind bars. You should never blame yourself for what happens to your mother. None of this is your fault."

I took a deep breath to calm myself, "But I feel like part of it is. Maybe if I was more open to Giese he wouldn't havedone what he did. Maybe I did deserve-"

"Boy, you better stop where you are," she said sternly, "No one deserves something like that happening to them."

"But I provoked it to happen."

"You could have been a wonderful child with a halo over your head and he would have done the same damn thing. There are people like him, Judai, who are sick creatures who do those kinds of things to children."

Aunt Mizumi said that, but I really did havea hard time believing it. It all started when I gave him attitude. Maybe if I wasn't so judgmental of him he never would have hit me and this never would have started. I may be at Naomi's house right now and Giese would be a good person. Maybe I made him the way he is. Maybe I sent him over the edge with my smart comments and glares. This could have all been avoided if I just accepted him.

But, the other half of me thought that I had done nothing wrong. That Giese was just the way he was. He would have found something I did wrong, just a little thing, and turn it into something huge just for an excuse to harm me. Like breaking a vase then turning it into something terrible, like I was running through the house smashing things and called him a bastard just to mix it up a little. I could see him doing it.

I didn't know. All that really mattered to me was that I would probably never see him again. But, the word _probably _got my stomach churning. I wanted to be certain.

Aunt Mizumi yawned and stretched her arms out, "It's getting late. I don't want you going to bed thinking about such horrible things."

I just nodded and stood up from the porch. I waited for Aunt Mizumi as she slowly was getting up from her chair. She stood up but only for a moment before she lost her balance and stumbled into the wall. She caught herself on the siding of the house, leaning against it for support from her buckling legs.

"Aunt Mizumi?" My voice was clearly worried, "Are you okay?" I asked.

She was breathing heavily while clenching her chest, "I-I'm fine." She obviously was running out of breath.

No, she wasn't okay. She tripped every now and then from being so weak, but this was different. It frightened me, "Hold on. Let me go get Grey."

I dashed inside the house to see Uncle Grey already sitting in the kitchen with my father. They were having a conversation, drinking beer, when I barged in.

Uncle Grey saw my terrified expression and asked me what was wrong right away.

"Aunt Mizumi doesn't look good, at all."

He spared no time whatsoever putting his beer down and jogging out the screen door where Mizumi still stood, hyperventilating from the lack of oxygen to her lungs. My father was beside me, watching Grey helping her breath.

"Mizumi, I need you to breath, sweetheart."

She tried to, but they were more like wheezes. Uncle Grey insisted that she go to the hospital as a precaution.

She put up her hand as she tried to stead her breathing, "No…no I'm fine. I just need some rest…I'll be better…t-tomorrow."

Uncle Grey eyed Mizumi up and down for a long time before sighing in defeat, "Alright." He scooped Aunt Mizumi into his arms like she was lighter than air. Her withered figure was shaking like a leaf. I felt a terrible feeling wash around in the pit of my stomach. Something told me she wouldn't be better.

Uncle Grey walked inside the house, holding Aunt Mizumilike she was an expensive vase that he was being extra careful not to drop. I glanced over to my father who didn't look back. He was staring at his sister as she was carried to her room. My father's eyes were wide in fear, his face pale. I already knew what he was thinking and what he was scared of.

He didn't stand by me for long. Before I knew it he had disappeared into the house, probably to Aunt Mizumi's room. I followed him, through the kitchen, up the stairs, and down the hall to my aunt and uncle's room. When I walked in I was greeted by the crimson walls of the bedroom. I soon thought it was a bad omen to be surrounded by the color of blood when Aunt Mizumi was like this.

Uncle Grey had already set her into the bed and covered her with the bed sheets that matched the walls perfectly. He brushed his hand against Aunt Mizumi's forehead as she started a coughing fit. She hacked into her hand something red, something the color of her room, blood.

As soon as I saw it in her hand I covered my mouth and let a scream escape from my mouth. Not a second later my dad started pushing me out of the room.

"Go to bed," he hissed.

"But-"

"Go to bed!" he yelled and then slammed the door shut on my face.

I stood stiff outside the door. I knew what was coming. I just prayed she would make it by morning so I could say goodbye.

I solemnly made my way to bed. I laid there for hours, not one bit tired. I kept myself from crying. I knew this was going to come sooner or later, but I just never really had time to prepare myself for it.

It was this time I had finally realized how helpful Aunt Mizumi was to me. She was the only one I had told about Giese and his crimes without being forced into it. I'd never felt more comfortable around anyone before like I had with Mizumi, not even Johan. If it wasn't for her I'd still have my head buried in the sand. I have so much to thank her for and I don't have much time left to do it.

X-X-X-X-X

I woke up the next morning abruptly. I shot of from the mattress and realized that the sun had already risen. I didn't even remember falling asleep last night. I started to panic. Had Aunt Mizumi already…? No, she couldn't have! I didn't even get to see her before she left!

Without a second to spare I jumped out of bed, kicking off the sheets. I tripped too many times to count as I dashed out the door of my bedroom to Aunt Mizumi's room. I felt like I was running so slowly. I felt I would never reach the door at the end of the hallway. By the time I had gotten to it I felt like I had been running for hours by my heavy breathing.

My hands were shaking fiercely as I grabbed the doorknob. I almost felt like I didn't have to strength to open the door. But then I realized it wasn't that, it was me being frightened. Frightened of what awaited me behind that door. But I had to know, so I shuck off my fears and slowly turned the knob, pushing the door open.

I walked into the room and looked nervously over to the lump in the bed. My throat started to become dry. I wasn't sure if the figure was breathing or not. I took a few deep breaths before tip-toeing over to the bedside. But, I stopped half-way, doubting if I could do this or not. If I could face the fact that under the bed sheets could be my aunt, dead. The very thought sent chills up my spine.

I didn't pull the bed sheets down. I just leaned close to her and whispered, "Aunt Mizu?" When she didn't stir I tried again, but shaking her lightly this time, "Aunt Mizumi? Are you awake?"

"Judai?" Her raspy voice was like music to my ears. My body immediately was less tense. I let out my held breath, relieved she was still alive…for the moment.

"Jeez, Mizumi, you scared me last night," I whispered while smiling at her.

"I'm sorry, honey." I saw her hand reach out of the covers and grab onto my hand weakly.

We were silent for a long time. Mostly because I didn't know what to say. The woman was dieing. What do you say to a person that is passing on by the moment? Talking about the weather was out of the question. It would be rather stupid. So, I just asked the first question that popped into my head, which was an obvious one, "So, how are you feeling?"

Mizumi laughed weakly, giving a little cough, "Never felt better."

"I can sense the sarcasm in that."

"You're right. I should be serious with you."

"Oh, no! I didn't mean anything by it!"

She chuckled, "Calm down, Judai. I'm just messing with you."

I hung my head to the ground while Aunt Mizumi tossed and turned in her bed. I didn't want to sound rude to her, but I wanted her to be serious with me. If this was her last moments on Earth then I wanted her to be real here. So, like usual, she reads my expression and figures out my very thoughts. She was something.

"I really shouldn't be joking with you."

"Is it that serious?" I asked.

She nodded. I looked over to the side, biting my lip to keep it from quivering. I promised myself I wouldn't cry, especially not in front of Aunt Mizumi. I didn't want her to be more upset than she already was. Even though she didn't show it on her face, I could tell she was aching inside.

"So, what do you want to talk about?" She asked, that usual smile on her face.

"More like what would you want to talk about?" I let out a low chuckle, "We've been talking about me non-stop for the past few days. It's your turn."

Aunt Mizumi sighed and peered up at the ceiling, "I don't think there's anything left to tell about me."

"Oh come on! There must be something."

She laid there in the bed for a few moments, thinking of something interesting to talk about. Then she grinned and snapped her brittle fingers, "Got one. It's hysterical." She talked the whole time about when she was little and her, my dad, my Aunt Tatsuya, and Uncle Satoru were playing in the first snowfall of the year. My dad and uncle were planning to exterminate the snowman Mizumi and Tatsuya made. Well, when they both left my dad and Satoru took their shovels and started smashing it into nothing but a pile of snow. Well, apparently Tatsuya was so mad that she took this huge stick out of the yard and smacked my dad in the "manhood" and he fell over crying.

"Never messed with our snowmen again!" Aunt Mizumi laughed.

After we had controlled our giggles Aunt Mizumi smiled up at me sweetly and told me that she had something important to ask me.

"What?" I asked eagerly.

"My son, you've met him, haven't you?"

"Once or twice."

"Oh good," she said exhausted, "I need you to tell him that I'm sorry I didn't live long enough to see those grandbabies I've wanted so much."

That comment hurt my chest like a knife just stabbed it, "W-What are you saying?" I laughed nervously, "You're not going anywhere."

"Judai…I've lived longer than expected. I was supposed to die two months ago, but God kept me alive for some reason, and I think I know why."

I think I know why, too.

"You can't leave me," I said, my voice cracking, "You can't leave us! Uncle Grey needs you! Dad needs you! I need you!" My voice was now in desperate pleads, like she could control whether she died or not, "What am I suppose to do without you? You've already helped me so much!"

"Don't cry," Aunt Mizumi said solemnly, "I don't want to pass on seeing you shed tears."

"I can't help it," I said, wiping the tears in my eyes.

"Judai, you don't need me to conquer your obstacles. You're turning into a fine young adult and you need to learn how to handle what life throws at you like an adult." She took my hands in her own and smiled at me, "I may not live for much longer, but I'll still be here."

I couldn't keep back the tears anymore. It was just too hard. I let one slip out, then two, then much more. Soon I was sobbing quietly so Uncle Grey or my dad didn't hear me.

"Thank you so much…" I whispered.

"Don't thank me, honey. I didn't do anything."

"You don't have to be modest."

"I'm not," she said, "I just passed the time at night by talking about pointless stories."

"But, I told you about Giese. I've never told anyone about that. You must have done something."

Aunt Mizumi shook her head, "That wasn't me, that was you. You didn't feel obliged to tell me. You wanted to. So, you see, I've done nothing, you've done it all yourself without anyone pushing you. It was your free will that decided to tell me."

My eyes grew wide. Suddenly my heart didn't ache so much. She…was right. I told her because I wanted to, not because she pushed it, or was questioning me, it was just because I wanted her to know. I never realized it.

"I may have helped, but in the end it was you."

Aunt Mizumi relaxed her body, laying motionless in the crimson red bed. She coughed a few times, but there was no blood. I watched her carefully as her eyes started to lose color by the second.

I gasped and leaned over the bed, "Wait!"

"Judai…" she heaved, "I'm really glad…you came here…"

I gritted my teeth together as the tears poured out of my eyes, "I'm glad, too."

"Please…don't be all too hard on your mother. She loves you more than you know. She's just not being very smart."

"I will," I lied. I knew I owed her at least that much.

She gave one last smile to me, "Be good and be strong…for me…"

I watched as her eyes slid close, no sign of them over opening again. Her hand slipped out of my own and fell onto the bed, lifeless. I stared at her blankly for a long while not knowing how to react. But the tears came flowing down my cheeks soon enough. I knew I couldn't sit there and cry. I had to go tell them, which was probably the hardest thing to do.

It was difficult to pry myself out of the room where my aunt laid dead. I took my time walking down the stairs, thinking about how I would tell them, but I never got anything. I dragged myself into the kitchen where my uncle and father were eating breakfast. A lump formed in my throat. I didn't know what to say.

"Dad…" I squeaked out.

Both of them stopped eating and turned to face me. My father stood up when he saw the tears on my cheeks.

"Judai, what happened?"

"Aunt Mizumi…she's…" I couldn't say it. I didn't have to. My father's eyes grew wide and so did Uncle Grey's. In no time at all they were sprinting up the stairs to Aunt Mizumi's room. I didn't follow. I didn't want to see Aunt Mizumi or their reactions, but I certainly did hear them.

I heard a frustrated scream which came from my father and I knew the _bam_ was from Uncle Grey slamming his fists into the wall. Sobbing soon followed from both of them.

Before I knew it, it was noon. No one had spoken a word to each other. I actually hadn't seen my father or my uncle. My father was down by the shed and Uncle Grey wouldn't leave Aunt Mizumi's side. I didn't dare disturb any of them. I was doing some mourning myself. Sitting on the porch where Mizumi and I sat many of times. Where we had told each other everything.

I just sat there wondering how I was going to live here without Aunt Mizumi here with me. I knew this place was bearable only because of her. I knew I could only live here for a few more days before going completely insane. I'm sorry, living with just my father and uncle didn't really appeal to me.

I didn't know what I was going to do. I had nowhere else to go. I'm stuck here. What if I have to change schools? What if I never see Sho, Ryo or Fubuki again?

What if I don't see Johan again?

X-X-X-X-X

It was a cold, bleak Sunday at the cemetery. I was dressed in black dress pants, black shoes, and a white collared button-up, just like everyone else. Today was the day we were to bury Aunt Mizumi.

All this week had been nothing but phone calls to the funeral home to arrange calling hours, which were yesterday, and the funeral, which is today. It took a lot of convincing to get Aunt Mizumi's corpse out of the house and to a funeral home ASAP. Uncle Grey didn't want to let go of his beloved wife.

Things at the house were quiet. Uncle Grey wasn't in the mood for conversation, nor was my father. I thought I was going to go insane from the lack of noise. It almost felt lonely.

At the funeral it was mostly family and a few friends. Most of them I had no idea who they were or have only met a few times when I was little. But those people seemed to remember me. They would have conversations with me and I wouldn't even know who they were, I just acted like I did. When we did talk it usually went like this:

"Judai!"

"Um…hi."

"I haven't seen you in so long! When I last saw you, you were this big!" And they would hold their hand above the ground to show me exactly how tall I was. "Do you even remember me?"

"Ya," I would lie, "I remember a little."

Then they would usually say how sorry they are about Aunt Mizumi's death. I wouldn't say much when they brought it up. Just a simple nod or a one word answer. I had gotten that all day long and I was about to punch they next person who tells me how tall I was when I was five.

Everyone had gotten to the cemetery within a half hour. All dressed in black and white like this was a movie from the 50's. The preacher was standing at the tomb stone waiting to speak that stupid holy crap from his bible. Just bury her. I can't keep staring at that casket for the whole time he's talking, it was too hard and I know how much preachers like to here themselves talk.

We all stood around this little hole and large box either crying or just staring. I didn't cry though. She had told me that I shouldn't cry, so I didn't. I stood beside my father and my cousin, who was Aunt Mizumi's son. I knew I would have to have a talk with him after this.

He was standing next to his fiancée who just announced she was pregnant, today of all days. I clenched my fists when I heard the news. Was God laughing in Mizumi's face? As soon as she dies Nitta (my cousin's fiancée) is baring a child? The child Aunt Mizumi always wanted to spoil, to call him or her, her grandchild. Everyone was laughing, saying how they should hurry up and get married before she starts showing, but I wasn't laughing. I was angry.

After a few minutes of waiting, staring, and crying, the preacher finally took the stage and started speaking about how God would take care of Mizumi and she was in a better place. It's the same old song and dance.

I zoned the preacher out the first five minutes. I was just looking off into space now. I kind of looked like a manikin, face pale, lifeless, eyes unmoving. But no matter how glued my eyes were to that casket I could still see my father looking over his shoulder to see a white pickup truck pull into the parking lot.

I could see his body tense, "Oh fuck…" He mumbled under his breath. He suddenly turned to me and I was already looking past him to Naomi's truck to see that there was more than one person in it. I exchanged glances with my father for less than a second before he nonchalantly slipped out of the crowd.

I didn't hesitate in following him. The preach looked over at us but continued reading out of his bible. Anyone who wasn't sobbing or falling asleep by this long sermon noticed us, too, but I didn't stop.

When we were far enough from the crowd of people I ran up to my dad, "Dad! Wait!"

"Go back," he commanded.

"No!" I protested.

"Judai, please, don't be so stubborn for once and go back." His voice was fierce, intimating, but no matter how scary the situation was I wasn't going to stand around.

We got to the end of the parking lot, Naomi and…_him_ where already there waiting for us. My fist clenched tightly together and my stomach twisted into knots, not from fear, but from rage. That bitch! How dare she bring him here!

My father held out his arm and told me to wait. I did what he told me to. I didn't want to get too close to that trash. My eyes were in slits of anger. I grinded my teeth together, trying to control myself.

I was close enough to hear my father start spitting profanities to my mother, not once acknowledging Giese. He cussed him out, but to my mother. My father wasn't going to waste is time talking to him.

"You got balls to bring _that_"-he pointed is finger to Giese-"to my sister's funeral!"

"He's going to be apart of the family in a few months. I think he should-"

"Don't you even call him family!"

Giese frowned, "I don't think you have the right to talk to me like that."

"I have every fucking right to talk to you however I want you fucking pedophile!!"

My eyes widened along with Naomi's. Giese stood there silent not really knowing what to say. I couldn't believe he had said that. So much for him keeping what he knew a secret.

"H-He told you?" My mother asked, obviously shocked.

"No, he told Mizumi about that. I found out about the beatings."

Naomi shot a glance at me before looking back at my father, "Giese has done no such thing!"

My jaw dropped and yelled, "Are you kidding?!"

My dad hung his head and started chuckling, "Unbelievable. You're protecting him over your own son. What a pity."

"Giese had only disciplined him!"

"By fondling him?"

I bothered me how he said that so calmly. The whole concept bothered me.

My dad shook his head roughly and looked at my mother like he was trying to set her on fire with his eyes, "There's no discussing this. You're leaving."

Naomi put her hands on her hips and started giving my dad attitude, "I'm not going anywhere! Mizumi is my family, too!"

"You stopped being family when we got divorced. You're not welcomed here."

Naomi bit her lip and glanced over at me like I was going to help her out of this, "Judai, tell your father that I have every right to be here."

"Don't do that," my father hissed, "Don't put pressure on him. You did this to yourself!"

"I was talking Judai, not you!" She snapped. Her angry expression turned softer when she looked back at me. A little smile played on her face, "Judai, honey, you know how close Mizumi and I were. Please tell your dad to at least let me pay my respects."

I hung my head. I wanted to say no. I wanted them to leave. For her to bring Giese here was bullshit. I shouldn't even talk to her. But I remember what Aunt Mizumi had said.

_Please, don't be all too hard on your mother. _

"Pay your respects then get out," I said while gritting my teeth.

My mother's face fell because of how harsh I was, but I didn't care. She deserved it. My father wasn't all too surprised by my answer, though he wasn't happy about it. Naomi started walking to the crowd of family and friends up on the hill with Giese following. I stopped her before she even got past me.

I narrowed my eyes at Giese, "He stays in the truck."

Giese returned the glare, wanting to say something so bad, but bit his tongue since my father was there. My mother sighed, "Giese, go wait in the car."

Giese hesitated, looking back and forth at me and Naomi. He took a deep breath, trying to calm himself. He licked his dry lips before he spoke, "You're being pushed around by your own child, Naomi."

"Are you stupid?" I asked, smirking, "She told you to get in the truck. How hard is that?"

Giese bared his cigarette stained teeth. I was surprised that he actually took a sudden step towards me. He balled his hands in and out of fists. He wanted to hit me, but I wasn't worried that he actually would. There were too many witnesses.

"Giese!" My mother hissed, "Go in the car!"

Giese was breathing heavily through his nose while glaring daggers at me. I was returning the favor. My father had walked over to the both of us. He put his arm in front of me protectively.

Gieseglanced at Naomi who told him once again to go to the truck. He continued to stand there until finally he gave it up. He scoffed at me, "Unbelievable. Little brat…" He turned his body around and made his way to the truck without saying another word.

We stood there frozen for a few more seconds until Giese had actually gotten in the car. My father's body relaxed and let his arm flop back to his side. My mother hadn't spoken a word. She just ignored us and went up the hill to the funeral.

While Naomi was walking up to the crowd of people, my father stayed with me. He had put his hands on my shoulders, looking at me cautiously, "Are you alright?"

"Hardly…" I mumbled, my head facing the ground.

"I can't believe she would- why would she- how could she do that?"

"She loves him."

"Then she's a fool."

I shrugged, "What can you do?" Sighing, I looked at my dad with a crooked smile on my face, "But, I really don't care anymore. If she's happy with him, then let her be with him."

"You really think that?"

"Of course, but she'll lose me in the process."

"Judai…"

I sighed again, "Really, Dad, it's fine. I'm fine. It's just…hurtful."

"Well then let's stop talking about it. We have enough bad shit going on right now."

I nodded and started walking up the hill to where we were wanted. By the time we had gotten up there, they were already lowering the casket into the ground. I felt guilty for not staying through the whole ceremony, but there are some things that can't be avoided.

I stayed as far away from my mother as possible. She did look sorrowful though. I wondered if she was really upset about Aunt Mizumi dieing or if she was feeling extremely guilty. It felt wrong to smile, but I did. I smiled, hoping she was drowning in her misery. I know that was cruel, but it sounded so good.

Two men in all black started shoveling the dirt onto Aunt Mizumi's casket. It felt weird knowing she was in that big wooden box and she was actually being buried. I tried not to think of it.

People started to disperse from the group and to their cars within a few minutes. My cousin still stood there in front of the tomb stone, staring at it with absolutely no emotion whatsoever. Nitta was comforting him by rubbing his back soothingly.

I felt my heart sink when I knew that I had to pass Aunt Mizumi's message onto him. I had to prepare myself before going over there. I rehearsed what I was going to say in my head over and over until I knew I had it right. Then I had a minute of breathing so I could calm myself down, even if it was only a little bit.

Finally, I was ready. I slowly walked over to him and his fiancée, leaving my dad to tell the goodbyes all by himself.

I stopped a few yards away from the couple. I sighed before speaking, "Laurent?"

Laurent turned towards me wiping his eyes, "Judai?"

"I'm glad you remembered me," I said while smiling at the ground.

"Of course I remember you." He smiled, "Do you need something?" He asked.

"No, I just need to say something. Your mom told me to pass it on to you." I swallowed the lump in my throat and looked up to meet Laurent's gaze, "She said…she was sorry she didn't live long enough to meet her grandkids and that she loves you. She wishes you and Nitta all the best."

Laurent gave a low chuckle, "That woman apologizing for something that isn't her fault." He gave a hurt smile, "Thanks Judai. I appreciate it."

"Your welcome."

After that he asked me if I was going over to Aunt Tatsuya's for a little get together. "It's just a few people. It's kind of like a small mourning party, if you would call it that. We're just going there to celebrate my mother's years of life."

"We might."

"I hope you come," he grinned.

"I'll ask my dad." I glanced over my shoulder to see Naomi standing beside my father. They obviously just got in an argument. She made a motion with her hand to tell me to come over towards her. I sighed and turned back to Laurent, "Sorry, I have to go."

"Alright, thank you again. Hopefully I see you soon."

I nodded and waved goodbye to him and Nitta. I made my way over to my mother. She was probably going to give one last ditched effort to come home with her. I almost groaned at the thought of her crying again.

I didn't get too close to Naomi, just barely in arms reach. She had her arms folded over her chest. She was chewing on her lip, then looked me in the eyes, "I appreciate you letting me into the funeral. It means a lot to me."

"I didn't do it for your befit," I snarled, "I did it because that's what Aunt Mizumi would have wanted."

My mother was silent, letting the wind blow her black hair in front of her face. "Well…" she swallowed, probably to keep herself from crying, "Whatever the reason, thank you."

"No problem." I said while getting ready to walk away.

"Wait!" She called, "I have something to tell you."

"What?"

"Johan called for you a lot while you were gone," she said, "I tried to call you and tell you to call him back but you never wanted to talk to me." Naomi made a face when she said that, "Well, I told him to come here after the funeral because I knew you would want to see him."

"You did?" I asked, totally shocked.

"Yes, it's the least I can do. We'll just call it a little thank you gift for not being so hard on me today."

Now I was glad I had taken Aunt Mizumi's advice. I was going to see Johan. I couldn't believe it. I was so happy I forgot how to smile.

"Thank you Mom, really."

"It's nothing."

"Well, I have to go tell Dad that we have to stay. So I'll um…see you when I see you." It was the best I could think of because I knew "see you soon" wasn't going to happen.

I turned and started to walk towards my dad who was waiting by his car. I heard my mom say my name and I stopped, not turning to look at her.

"You…you know I love you, right?" She said, her voice starting to break into sobs.

"Don't do this Mom."

"What do you want me to do, Judai?! Just sit back and watch while you leave me?!"

"I'm not discussing this," I said harshly.

"You can't keep running away from me! I'm your mother God damn it!"

"Some mother!" I snapped, turning to her, "You ran away from me by going with Giese! How do you want me to react to that, Naomi?"

"Don't call me 'Naomi' I am your mother you address me as 'mom'!"

"You stopped being a mom a long time ago, Na-om-i." I drew out the syllables knowing it irritated her.

"If that's how you feel then maybe…maybe you just shouldn't see me at all!"

"Exactly what I was thinking," I stated coldly, "I'll have it arranged."

My mom shook her head, letting the tears fly all over the place, "I don't want you to though! I want you to come home with me!"

"Get rid of Giese, then we'll discus it."

"But…I can't…" she whispered.

"Then forget it," I said, "You obviously love Giese more than me, so you should be with him, not me. I'd hate to spoil your good time."

"I don't love Giese more than you!"

"Save it," I growled, "Dad's waiting for me. I hope you and Giese are happy together without me." With that I stomped away from my mother in such a rage I wouldn't be surprised if steam started coming out of my ears. I could hear my mother crying behind me, but I didn't care. I could care less.

I got to my dad's car with a few seconds from how fast I was walking away from Naomi. I was just really desperate to get away from her before I blew up. My father had already knew what I was mad about since he had witness the fight from the hood of his car.

"We're staying," I hissed.

"Why?"

"I'm supposed to meet someone here in a few minutes."

"Who?" My dad questioned, raising his eyebrow.

"Does it matter?"

"Yeah, we need to get to Aunt Tatsuya's in the next few minutes."

"Tatsuya can wait," I said coldly, "I'm meeting with someone."

My dad put his hands up, "Okay, okay."

I huffed and sat on the hood of the car next to my dad while he smoked a cigarette. I watched as the last of family and friends who came get in their cars and drive away. I turned my head when I saw Naomi walking to her truck, patting a handkerchief under her eyes. I couldn't even bring myself to look at her getting in the car with _him. _It made me furious.

I heard the pickup roar to life and roll out of the parking lot a little faster than necessary. But I couldn't help picking my head up to see Giese in the passenger's seat staring at me while they pulled out of the cemetery. I smirked at him and raised my middle finger and waved it around.

I watched in amusement as his teeth clenched together in anger. I just laughed at him, making sure he could see it, and shook my head at how childish he seemed to me. He'd get his, no doubt about it.

Five minutes passed and my father and I were the only ones in the parking lot. He checked his watch and sighed, "When is your friend going to be here?" He asked.

"Give him a few more minutes, Dad." I said in annoyance.

He sighed again and leaned against the car again, putting his hands in his pockets.

I could barely contain my excitement knowing Johan was going to be here any minute. I haven't seen him in three weeks, which felt like three years. I wanted him to fill me in on everything that happened while I was gone and well…I'll just skip what has been happening with me. I didn't want to ruin the happy moment.

We waited another ten minutes before I heard the similar roar of Jonathan's Mustang engine. The sound was like music. I immediately jumped off the hood of my dad's car and was in the middle of the parking lot in a matter of seconds, waving my hands around so they knew where to go.

I was grinning ear to ear as the Mustang pulled into the parking lot. I was smiling so much it hurt my cheeks. I tried to contain myself from crying and looking like an idiot and actually succeeded. Before the Mustang came to a complete stop I ran to the back door of the car where Johan was sitting. He flashed that beautiful smile of his and opened the door as quickly as possible.

When Johan got out of the car I was already latched onto him like Velcro. I couldn't even speak I was so happy. I ran my hands through his hair, feeling the softness of it made my hands tingle.

"Oh, Johan…" I whispered.

"Judai," he wheezed, "I can't breathe! I can't breathe!!"

I realized how tight I was hugging him and quickly let go so he could breathe again. "Sorry," I laughed.

"It's okay, I prepared myself for it."

I was so wrapped up in seeing Johan again I forgot about Jonathan, Emmy and JoJo. I looked up at Johan's parents and smiled, "It's been a while."

"Seems like forever," Emmy said, her eyes watery.

Jonathan nodded, "It's nice to finally see you again."

"Same here," I said.

"Hay! What 'bout me?" JoJo whined.

I laughed and ruffled her hair, "Hey there squirt. I haven't forgot you."

Before I knew it my dad was beside me, introducing himself to the whole Andersen family. They said their greetings and told each other who they were, what their names where. My dad and Johan's parents seemed to get along pretty well. It was like an instant connection. They were talking up a storm within the first few minutes. I would say it was like me and Johan, but that was a really weird comparison.

Johan and I decided to leave Emmy and Jonathan and my father to themselves since they were having such a great conversation. Poor JoJo just sat there listening to it while playing with her fingers.

Johan and I were walking up the Aunt Mizumi's gravesite hand-in-hand. I never really noticed how soft Johan's hands were until today. It was strange how I was noticing all these little things about him. Maybe it was because I haven't seen him for so long that I'm seeing things I haven't taken into consideration before.

"You seem to be walking better," he commented.

"Oh, yeah I guess I am," I had actually forgot about my tailbone still having a week more to heal completely. It actually hasn't been hurting at all.

Johan laughed, raising his eyebrow, "Why are you looking at me?"

I didn't realize I was staring, "Well, isn't it obvious?"

"I don't know." He rolled his eyes while smiling, "Just answer the question."

I leaned my head against his shoulder, "'Cause I've missed you so much."

I could feel Johan's lips in my hair, "I've missed you, too." He pulled me closer to him while we walked the last few steps to the grave my aunt had just recently been buried in. I suddenly didn't feel so great. My smile hardened into a tight line.

"So this is your aunt's grave?" He asked.

"Yeah," I said, "You missed the funeral. It was wonderful."

Johan frowned, "I can sense the sarcasm. What happened?"

Man, I promised I wouldn't ruin the good moment. "My mom came here with Giese."

He gasped, "What?"

"It's nothing. You probably don't want to hear about it."

"Oh, I beg to differ."

What was I suppose to do? Reject his request? I couldn't. I've always told Johan everything, well, almost everything. I was so over hiding things. So I let it all out. I told him about how Naomi, and yes I used her name when explaining things to him, had came to see me at Aunt Mizumi's house saying how she was going to stay with Giese after all that he had done. I've never seen Johan's eyes get so wide before. He really couldn't say anything because there was nothing to say to someone who would abandon their own child.

But, I told him how I had come out to Mizumi and told her about what had happened. I said how good of a person she was and she helped me when I had problems. I told him how my dad and she actually could relate to me about what Giese had done to me. I said everything I could and got it all out on the table.

We spent almost a half an hour talking about everything. Johan had so many questions and not to mention how many times he said, "What?!" He was completely outraged, appalled by Naomi's decisions.

"I can't believe this! Your own mother! God that makes me so pissed!"

"It's okay, I'm over it."

"But it's not okay!"

"Your right, it's not." I said, "But, if she wants Giese more than me then why stop her? I'm not going to waste my time trying to convince other wise. She'll have to deal with the guilt in the long run."

"Wow…I can't believe you're so…calm about it."

"What else can I do?" I asked, "Kick and scream? It wouldn't make things change. I'd rather save my energy."

Johan gave a little smile, "I'm really proud of you. You've grown a lot over the past few weeks."

I glanced over at Aunt Mizumi's grave, "I had help." But, for a split second I thought I saw Aunt Mizumi standing beside her tomb stone, smiling at me. She was watching Johan and I. I could tell that she was just as happy as he was that I had matured so much to actually handle this like an adult.

_I may not live much longer, but I'll still be here. _

That comment echoed in my mind. She was still here, watching me, helping me learn.

"Judai!!" My father called from the bottom of the hill.

I gasped and quickly looked at Johan, fear in my eyes, "I don't want to leave you."

Johan chuckled and smoothed my hair out of my face, "It's not like you'll never see me again."

I sighed, "I know but…living with my dad now without Mizumi is going to be so weird. More than likely it will be boring. Not to mention we've just seen each other after three weeks! I'm not ready to leave you again!"

"Well…" Johan trailed off, looking to the side, "Maybe…you can convince your dad for you to come and live with me."

My eyes widened, "You're serious?!" I exclaimed, the excitement coming back into my voice, "Your parents will let me?"

"Of course, Judai. They adore you. I think they love you more than me," he joked.

"I don't think that's possible."

"Well, you'll never know unless you ask."

I stared a Johan then over to my dad who was getting impatient from waiting. I bit my lip and changed my gaze back to Johan, "What if he gets upset?"

"Again, never know unless you ask."

I bit my lip and thought about it for a while. It was worth a shot. My dad could come visit me whenever he'd like. Emmy and Jonathan are open arms to me no matter what my situation is. I'd be with Johan. I wouldn't be bored. Oh hell, why not? It's not like he'll shun me for asking.

I grinned and grabbed Johan's hand, "Come on." I dragged Johan down to the parking lot eager at the thought I might actually be living with Johan. That's if my dad agrees. I'll just haveto be very persuasive.

When we got to the parking lot my dad was talking to Emmy and Jonathan while he was waiting for Johan and me. I came to sudden stop in front of the three adults. Johan couldn't stop fast enough and rammed into me.

Emmy laughed, "What's your hurry?"

"Well," I smiled, "Johan and I have been talking."

"About...?" Jonathan droned on the word.

I glanced over my shoulder at Johan who was smiling at me and giving me little nudges to get me to come out with it already. I turned back to Emmy, Jonathan and my dad and took a deep breath, "We've decided that it would be easier for all of us if you let me stay with Johan."

"What are you trying to say?" My dad asked, "You mean living with him?"

Johan and I nodded.

All three of them looked at each other, worried expressions painted across their faces. When I saw the look on their faces my hopefulness boiled down to no hope at all. I'd be stuck with Dad and Uncle Grey, I just know it.

"Um…that's easier said that done," my father said.

"I see," I said solemnly.

"And I don't think Emmy and Jonathan need another kid to take care of."

"Oh, it's not trouble," Emmy said, "We love having him. I just don't know if it would be right to take him from you."

"Well…I really don't see a huge problem with it."

When my dad said that my hope suddenly came back.

"I'm just worried about court law. You're suppose to be with me and if they find out you're living with someone else that is not immediate family, my ass is grass."

"We can look past that!"

"I'm just not sure."

"Wait, wait!" I said, "You could just let me live with Johan for the time being. If the courts find out and they see a problem with it, then ship me back home. Dad, you can see me whenever and give me money for clothes and basic needs. It works out. Come on Dad! Please!"

My dad bit his lip. He was thinking really hard about this since he was always groaning when his thoughts didn't come together. I was just stand there with Johan, our hands folded together like we were praying. We looked so hopeful. I knew my dad couldn't crush this.

Finally after a long five minutes, he sighed, "Okay."

"Yay!!" Johan and I cheered.

"Are you sure it's okay with you?" My father asked Emmy and Jonathan.

"It's perfectly fine." Jonathan said.

Emmy smiled. Suddenly, she gave a little gasp then looked at the digital clock in the car, "Oh, we better get home. Dinner's probably ready, if not it's destroying the kitchen." She turned to Johan and me, "Come on, boys. Let's get home."

Jonathan shook my dad's hand and told him it was a pleasure to finally meet him, my dad returned the gesture. Johan grabbed my hand and started to drag me towards the car, but I pulled my hand out of his without seeming rude, "Wait, there's something I have to do."

Johan peered over my shoulder to my father, still standing there hoping I would come over and at least say goodbye. Johan smiled, "I got you. Take your time."

I turned my back to Johan and walked over to my dad, his arms folded over his chest, towering over me. I didn't look at him in the eye when I spoke, "You're not mad at me for wanting to do this, are you?" I asked.

My dad sighed and shook his head, "No. It's your life and I know you want to be with him more than you want to be with boring old me and Grey."

"It's nothing against you Dad." I assured him.

"I know."

"So, are you sure your okay? Because if you want me home I understand."

"I'm fine. Don't worry about it." He smiled and motioned his head over to the Andersen's car, "Now go on, they're waiting for you."

"You'll call me tomorrow?"

"Of course."

I gave my dad a weak smile, "Thanks." I gave him one last look before heading over to the Mustang that was already revving to go. Johan held the door open for me and let me crawl in first. Then he followed in right behind me.

Johan slammed the door shut and turned to me, "You ready to start your first night living with the Andersen's?" He asked.

"Yep."

Jonathan stepped on the gas petal and started to pull out of the parking lot. Before we left I leaned over Johan to see my dad waving to me. I waved back, yelling out the window that I'd see him soon. He smiled as we pulled out of the cemetery and sped away.

I couldn't help but feel somewhat guilty I had just ditched my father and it showed on my face.

Johan looked over at me and grabbed my hand in his own, "Are you sure you want to do this?" He asked, "We can always turn around."

"I want to do this Johan," I said, "Don't worry about it, I'll be fine."

I knew what I wanted and that was to be with Johan. No one could take that away from me.

X-X-X-X-X

_Few Months Later_

"Johan! Judai! Come on it's your first day of being juniors in high school! Let's go!"

Johan and I raced down the stairs, book bags slung over our shoulders.

"Jeez Mom!" Johan shouted, "Don't rush us!"

"Well get moving your bus is coming!" Emmy said, pushing us along out the door. We ran down the porch like cheetahs hoping we made it in time before the bus came.

It has been two months since I'vecome to live with the Andersen's. So far it's been going great. The courts haven't found of problem with me staying with Johan, that because they still didn't know. We planned to keep this a secret from the legal system. It's been working out great so far. Not one cop has come by to check on how I was doing with my father, so for now the secret is safe. Yes, it's deceiving, but we didn't really care. We've been through enough stuff as it is. We really could care less about the courts.

On a brighter note my father visits four days a week for about three hours at a time and has giving me money out the ass. I'm not complaining. He and Uncle Grey have been doing fine on their own as well. They can't cook their own food, but other than that they're getting by.

As for my mother I haven't spoken to her. Last thing I heard was that she was in the hospital again from Giese going berserk and smashed her head into a window. When I heard the news I was frightened for my mother, but I felt better when I learned her injuries were minor. But, she's still with Giese, as usual. The wedding is in two weeks and I've already recievedan invitation, the nerve of that woman. As soon as I got it I threw it away. No way in Hell am I going.

Giese has become nothing but an unwanted memory in the corner of my mind. He's nothing to me, just dust in the wind. I don't speak of him anymore and when he is brought up he quickly goes away because we all know to terminate the conversation.

"Dammit! Run Judai! The bus is coming!"

"I'm running! Shut up!"

Me and Johan's relationship is better than ever. I can't really get into details about it since that is a private concept only Johan and I know about. At least we try and keep it private…and quiet. I think you get what I'm talking about. Yes, it took me a while before I had agreed to do such things with Johan. I was still a little insecure about the whole thing, but Johan and I talked for hours about it and after he had assured me that everything would be fine, I went for it. There was no unwanted visions, it was just Johan the whole time. I felt loved, safe.

My life is perfect and I would have it any other way. Even though I've faced the hardships that some adults had never been through I've learned and didn't feel sorry for myself. Yeah, it's not a perfect ending. My mother didn't come through for me and it still with the guy who had caused me so much misery but what are you gonna do? Life just works that way. You don't always get what you want.

I ran up to the bus that was waiting for us with Johan. We were out of breath by the time we had gotten on and didn't think we could make it to the back where Fubuki, Sho and Ryo were sitting. But we toughed it out like men and made it to the back.

They were all laughing at us.

"Don't ever join the track team!" Fubuki shouted.

"Shut up…" I breathed while sitting in the seat across from him and Ryo with Johan.

The rest of the way to school we joked around and said how this year will be the best year of our high school careers.

I sat back wondering if my mom would call me tonight and ask if I had a good day. But the possibly of that happening was zero. She probably didn't even know it was the first day of school.

Then I got to thinking about Aunt Mizumi, who's grave I visited every week. That's another thing that didn't make this story as happy of an ending as it should be. When she died it was like a part of me died off too. I wondered if I would be riding the bus right now if she was still alive, since the reason I didn't stay with dad was because she wouldn't be there.

Oh, why am I thinking about this? It's a happy day I shouldn't be thinking bad thoughts. Yeah, this isn't a perfect ending but at least I'm with Johan and my life was on the road to becoming better.

I grabbed Johan's hand and smiled at him. He did the same, planting a kiss on my lips.

But, this isn't the end, this is the beginning. A chance for me to start my life over in the right direction, with Johan at my side. This part of my life is coming to a close. All the struggles, the tears, the hardships. I could probably face anything and laugh at it like it was nothing.

I wouldn't be scared anymore because I have Johan there to catch me when I fall and a great family right behind me. The sun had finally risen and I was out of the blackness, out of the hollow shell I lived in. That sun was Johan. With all this I knew that this next chapter will be easy and unlike the last one, it will be a fairy tale ending.

X-X-X-X-X

Kikuchan: we laughed, we cried and….well mostly cried. But now tis story is at a close everyone!

Judai: take a bow!

Kikuchan: -bows- thank u thank u everyone who supported me through out this story and to all those who reviewed and encouraged me to write this story! I'm so proud of it!

Judai: please sumbit your last reviews!


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